


All In the Batter

by CaptainLeBubbles



Category: RWBY
Genre: Alternate Universe - Bakery, Alternate Universe - Romance Novel, M/M, Minor Original Character(s), Past Abuse, Romantic Comedy, Trans Character
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-04
Updated: 2016-02-22
Packaged: 2018-05-04 20:25:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 33
Words: 43,910
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5347448
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CaptainLeBubbles/pseuds/CaptainLeBubbles
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A romantic comedy about Qrow and Ironwood running a bakery and falling in love and maybe baking a few cakes along the way.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Qrow Branwen has always wanted to open a cake shop, so when fortune favors him with, well, fortune, he decides to throw caution to the winds and follow his dream. Unfortunately, he has no head for business and so he decides to hire on someone to help him run the books while he focuses on producing delicious cakes.
> 
> What Qrow wanted was someone who would keep the accounts, manage the books, and make sure he didn’t lose money in pursuit of his dream. What he got was James Ironwood, a stuffy, militaristicly minded man who wouldn’t know a laugh if it bit him in the ass. Qrow and James butt heads immediately, but they already signed the contract and so they’re stuck with one another. And it doesn’t help matters at all that James is impossibly handsome and Qrow wants nothing more than to climb him like the tree he practically is.
> 
> James was at the bottom of his luck. Having lost his job and finally given up pursuing the love of his life, he just wanted to find a fresh start. He decided to put a use to that business degree he’d never done anything with, and applied to manage a small cake shop that had just opened.
> 
> He never dreamed that working with Qrow would be such a chore- the man is an absolute waste, and it doesn’t take long for James to realize he’s the only thing standing between Qrow and the complete failure of the company. But he’s committed, and fully intends to see things through to their conclusion. Unfortunately, things take a complicated turn when James finds Qrow sneaking into his every thought, even his deepest fantasies.
> 
> Batter Up was supposed to be a chance for Qrow to follow his dreams, but will he find love, too, or will it all fall apart like everything else in his life to date?

“You need to expand your horizons,” Oz had said, and, “Change will be good for you,” and, “You can’t just keep stagnating like this,” and, “You know I’m right, James.”

That last one was most annoying because, of course, he _was_ right. Oz was always right, eventually, and James knew it and more annoyingly _Oz_ knew it, too.

Which is how James found himself outside of a tiny little building that smelled strongly of cake batter and alcohol, dressed in a full suit and tie while he watched a billow of smoke pouring out through the open front door.

There was a fire alarm going off inside, and he could hear shouting from at least three people and barking from a dog, as well as the clatter of many metal things- presumably metal baking things- and already he was questioning the sanity of actually going through with this. But Oz was there in the back of his mind, that annoyingly calm look on his face, urging him forward- so he stepped inside and called a greeting, because if he didn’t, he’d never hear the end of it.

The first person to respond to his call was a tiny girl in a red hoodie, who threw open the door with a wide, overly-cheerful greeting of her own. He could _just about_ make out words that sounded like ‘WELCOME TO BATTER UP WHERE WE HAVE CAKES AND ALSO ADDITIONAL CAKES, HOW CAN I HELP YOU’, but between the noise and how high the girl’s voice was, he couldn’t be entirely sure.

He stared down at the girl, grinning up at him with her arms outstretched, and frowned. “Do you work here?”

“Yep!”

“How old are you?”

“Fifteen.”

Fifteen. Not quite as young as she looked. “You know there are child labor laws, right?”

Her grin just got bigger. “Yeah, but Uncle Qrow says that would only apply if I was an employee, and I’m _not_ an employee because he’s not paying m-mmmphhhhh?”

This last bit was cut off by a rather unkempt man grabbing her around the middle and clamping a hand over her mouth. He stared over the top of her head at James, scrutinizing him closely. Up close, James could tell that this was the source of the strong alcohol smell surrounding the place. He made a mental note to have a few words with Oz about not warning him of things later.

“What Ruby here _meant_ to say,” he said, taking his hand off the girl’s mouth so he could noogie her instead, “Is that she and her sister- seventeen, by the way- are only helping me out while I get things going. I’ve been so busy getting set up I haven’t had time to hire anyone yet. Isn’t that what you meant to say, Ruby?”

The girl- Ruby- just nodded cheerily. Her uncle set her down carefully. “Why don’t you go back and help Yang get that mess cleaned up so we can get our stock out for the day, okay? I’ll deal with this guy.”

He ruffled her hair fondly and gave her a small wave as she headed back into the back, then turned back to James. He scrutinized him a bit more for a moment, before his shoulders sagged.

“…You’re the guy, aren’t you? The one Oz sent me?”

James nodded, and held out his left hand to shake. “James Ironwood,” he said. “It’s Qrow, right?”

“Qrow Branwen, yeah.” Qrow gave James’ hand an odd look before taking it with his own left, squeezing briefly before letting it fall. “So you’re going to help me run my business, huh?”

“That’s Ozpin’s idea,” James said. “He told me you decided to follow your dream and open a cakery, but needed someone with a good head for business to handle the more, ah, business aspects of it.”

“That’s pretty much it.” Qrow gestured for James to follow him into a room set off the far wall, which turned out to be a tiny office. “I’ve got a good head for a lot of things, but business isn’t one of them. So, I’m hiring a manager. Hopefully one that won’t do me dirty, but Oz says you’re trustworthy and I put a lot of store in what Oz says. He’s usually right-”

“-eventually,” James finishes for him. “Yes. I brought my credentials-”

o/o

Forty-five minutes later, the two men shook hands again, having just signed a deal that boiled down to James running the business side of Batter Up while Qrow ran the store and made the cakes.

“You also can’t employ underage teenagers anymore,” James added, as they left the office. “Even if they’re not ‘technically’ employees.”

“You mean the kid? Nah, Ruby’s a sport. She and Yang just volunteered to help me out while I got everything going. I don’t mean to keep ‘em on more than a couple weeks, at a stretch.”

James glanced back at the kitchen, where he could see Ruby and another girl- Yang, presumably- diligently cleaning up whatever mess they were making when he arrived. The fire alarm had also been cut off and the smell of smoke was dissipating, and the presumed source of the barking- a huskie/corgie mix- was flopped out on his side in a corner of the store, legs twitching a little in his sleep.

James unconsciously folded his hands behind his back while he surveyed the new domain, taking in everything about the shop. It was very… disorganized. He could see why Qrow needed a manager, if this was how he kept shop.

Well, James could fix that. He was very good at organizing things.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Batter Up gets a new employee already.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Why is everyone in this town so obsessed with child labor laws?

The first thing James did as business manager of Batter Up was to put out help wanted ads. A ‘now hiring’ sign was printed out and put in the window, right beside the ‘open for business’ sign, which James had to retape because it was falling off. Then he went into the storeroom to take inventory, while Qrow and his nieces got back to work on making the cakes.

Once he was out of sight in the back, Ruby looked up from the dishes she was washing.

“He seems…”

“Stuffy,” Yang finished for her, pausing in icing a cake so she could crane her neck to try to catch sight of him in the storeroom. “Did you see the way he was looking at everything? It’s like he was counting problems.”

“Well that… _is_ why Uncle Qrow hired him,” Ruby said. “Maybe he’s not so bad?”

“I hope not.” Qrow wrinkled his nose. “He does seem stuffy. Kinda.. military, you know? Anyway, his contract is a month, that’s time to see how well he does but short enough if he doesn’t pan out we’re not stuck with him too long.”

Ruby went back to her dishes. “Hey, once you hire people, does that mean Yang and I can’t work here anymore?”

“It means _you_ can’t,” Qrow said. “I can hire Yang if she wants me to, but you’ve got to go once I find you a replacement.”

“Aww..” Ruby’s shoulders sagged. “I want to work here.”

“Don’t worry, sis,” Yang told her. “Once you’re sixteen Uncle Qrow will be sure to hire you. And this time you’ll actually get paid.”

“Yeah… that will be pretty nice.”

o/o

They got their first applicant toward the end of the day, about half an hour before closing. In manner she bore a strong resemblance to James: she held herself stiffly, hands folded behind her back, though where James’ look was stern, hers was haughty. When Ruby shouted her usual greeting, the woman stared down at her until Ruby’s cheery smile faltered and she slowly lowered her hands to her side.

“Hi,” Ruby said, much quieter. “Can I help you?”

“Are you old enough to work here?”

“No. I’m only here until Uncle Qrow can hire someone else.”

“You know there are child labor laws.”

“That’s what everyone keeps telling me.” Ruby rubbed the back of her neck awkwardly. “I’ll just… go get Uncle Qrow.”

Qrow impressed the woman- who introduced herself as Winter Schnee- even less than Ruby did, but James seemed to meet her approval.

“I’ve come to apply for the position,” she said, turning her attention entirely to James.

“Can you bake?” Qrow asked.

“Yes.”

“Good. You’re hired,” Qrow said. James and Winter both gave him a surprised look.

“Just like that? Without an interview or anything?”

“What do you mean? That was the interview.”

“You can’t just hire someone without looking at their credentials first,” James said. “We haven’t even had a chance to run a background check.”

“So we don’t let her near the cash register until we do,” Qrow said, shrugging. “You start tomorrow. What hours are good for you?”

“I have class in the mornings,” she said. “And I oversee my sister in the afternoon. However, I’m available between twelve and three, and five and nine.”

“Perfect. James will get that in writing and sort out your schedule.”

“We don’t even know if she really can bake,” James protested. Qrow shrugged.

“She can’t be worse than Ruby, and if she is, we’ll put her washing dishes. I can’t afford to be picky right now, I need employees.” He glanced at Ruby, peering around the kitchen door at them. “Employees that don’t make everyone who walks in her bring up child labor laws.” At a look from James, he sighed. “Fine, we’ll do a _trial period_ or something, then. Come in tomorrow and we’ll see if you do well enough to keep on.”

“And bring in your id and a resume with you,” James added. “We’ll also be arranging a drug test and a background check.”

“It’s a cakery, Jimmy, not a mint.”

“James,” he corrected. “And can I please see you in the office?”

“Sure. But you’re not gonna change my mind.”

In the office, James shut the door behind them and pinched the bridge of his nose. He took a deep breath, and let it out with a soft whoosh, while Qrow leaned on the desk and stared up at him.

Lord, but he was attractive. Qrow had noticed before, while they were talking- admittedly, a part of the reason he’d taken him on (nothing wrong with a bit of eye candy, after all). Tall enough to need to duck against the low ceiling in the store room, broad across the chest with thick arms and wide hands. Those hands were something, Qrow thought- at one point during their meeting, he’d let his attention drift to those hands, imagining what it’d be like to have them gripping his hips with bruising force.

“Are you even listening to me?”

“You were trying to tell me why I can’t hire Miss Fussy-Britches in there,” Qrow said. Actually, he had no idea what James had been saying, but he could guess. The details weren’t important.

“I was saying that cakery or mint, it doesn’t matter. It’s still important to know that our employees are trustworthy.”

“Look, I get what you’re saying, Jimmy,” Qrow said, holding up his hand and ignoring James once more correcting his name. “But it’s not like I’m suggesting we sign over the deed to the store to her just like that. I just need someone to help pick up the slack for a bit, and in the meantime I can interview other potential employees. This is a college town- we’ll be swimming in applicants before we know it.”

“I just want to ensure that everyone we hire is trustworthy.”

“And we will. But we have to start somewhere.” He straightened up and waved James out of the office ahead of him. “If she turns out to be not worth it, we can always just fire her.’

“Fine. If you’re sure. In the future, though, we’ll discuss any potential employees _together_. _Before_ you hire them.”

“Whatever you say, Jim-Jam.” Qrow grinned to himself while James indignantly correct his name, and Qrow checked out his ass on the way out of the office.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapters will be pretty short as I write the fic, but I intend to smush them down into longer ones as I go along- about every five chapters or so, probably.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which there are phone calls.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Professor Trollpin.

When Qrow and the girls got home that night, they were exhausted but in high spirits. They’d taken on a manager and a new employee that day, and had even had a customer. They were looking forward to more applicants and maybe even _two_ customers next day.

Qrow got the girls settled for the night and headed to his room to call Oz. He needed to have a word with his old friend about a few things.

“What the hell is that guy you sent me?” he said, as soon as Oz picked up the phone.

“You mean James? Qrow, I’m not sure I understand, he’s a very qualified man and he’ll make a great addition to your shop.”

“Oh, I’m sure he’s _qualified_ ,” Qrow said, rolling his eyes a little. “But there’s a certain level of whimsy you need to run a place that deals in baked goods and I don’t think Jimmy there would recognize whimsy if it bit him in the ass. Not that I would blame it if it did,” he adds. “And that’s another thing. Is this another one of your schemes to set me up?”

“What?” Oz actually sounded hurt, but Qrow doesn’t buy it for a second. “I would never do something like that. Why would you even suggest it?” There was a pause, and, “Well, maybe I’ve done it a few times. But in this case I really am just trying to help my friends, or rather, help my friends help each other. Besides, James is straight.”

“You’re sure?”

“One hundred percent positive. He’s so straight, architects are using him to draft blueprints.”

Hm, well. So much for that fantasy, then. Ah well, better not to mix business with pleasure anyway.

“As to the whimsical thing,” Oz went on, “I wouldn’t worry too much. James may seem a bit…”

“Stuffy?”

“I was going to say like a hardass, but yes, stuffy works. James may seem a bit stuffy, but his heart is in the right place and he really does know what he’s doing. Just give him a chance. Maybe show him a bit of that whimsy he needs.”

“Ha! I knew this was a scheme.”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“Yeah, I’ll just bet you don’t.”

o/o

Ten minutes after Qrow and Oz hung up the phone, Oz got a call from James. He carefully set his book aside and picked up the phone, glad that his friend wouldn’t see his smug look through the phone.

“What the hell is that guy you sent me to?” James said.

Oz’s smug look got, if possible, even bigger. “Hello to you too, James. I take it things went well at Batter Up? You got the job?”

“How do you even- yes, I got the job.” James sighed down the line. “But I’m thinking that may not have been the best idea. Qrow is… not the sort of man I see myself working well with.”

“You mean he’s just as hard-headed as you?”

“I mean he’s an alcoholic with no real structure in his life.”

“I wouldn’t say he’s an alcoholic.”

“I could smell it on him from outside the shop.”

“That’s just the rum cake. It’s his specialty.”

“I’ll bet. Does any of his rum actually make it into the cakes?”

“A surprising amount.” Oz shifted his phone to the other ear. “James, I know Qrow doesn’t seem like much, but he’s an excellent baker, and this shop is his dream. He has good instincts, he just needs help so that it doesn’t fall apart. Just give him a chance. Maybe show him a little of that structure he needs.”

There was a pause. “Wait, is this another one of your schemes?”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“Of course you don’t.”

o/o

Oz hung up the phone with James, then stared at it for a moment, considering. Then he picked it back up and dialed a different number, humming patiently to himself while he waited for an answer. On the other end, Glynda finally got to the phone after what felt like an eternity. She sounded a little grumpy.

“Hello?”

“Good evening, Glynda.”

“Oh, it’s you. I should have known, who else would call me this late?”

“I hope I haven’t caught you at a bad time.”

“No, not a bad time at all. I’ve only got my wife in the next room drawing a nice relaxing bath for us, it’s the perfect time for a phone call.”

“Good, I’m glad to hear it.” Oz smiled. Over the phone, he could hear a door open and muffled conversation between Glynda and Snow. After a moment the door closed again and Glynda sighed.

“You’ve got ten minutes and it better be important.”

“I just thought you’d like to know that I’ve got James safely installed at Batter Up.”

“Oh, right. The bakery thing. This couldn’t wait?”

“You’re not pleased? I thought you’d be glad to know he was moving on from his sudden heartbreak.”

“Sudden heartbreak? Snow and I were already dating when I met him, it’s his own fault if he got his heart broken. What do I care?”

“Because you’re a good person.”

There was a pause. “I mean, you’re not wrong. Is that all you wanted to tell me?”

“I was also wondering if you’d go check on him for me tomorrow. Make sure he’s getting settled.”

“Why can’t you do it?”

“Because they both suspect me of meddling-”

“I can’t imagine why.”

“-and they’ll see through me in an instant. Besides, I want your opinion on something. Will you do it?”

“Oh, all right.” Glynda didn’t grumble, but she gave off the distinct impression of grumbling. Oz suppressed a laugh. Glynda could read him better than either Qrow or James could, even through the phone.

In the background, the door once more opened and he could hear Snow talking to Glynda. There was a pause, and then he could hear the phone being passed.

“Hello, Snow,” he said, amused.

“Hi, Oz. Are you done dishing out all the hot new goss yet? Can I have my wife back?”

“I would never dream of keeping her from you. Good evening. I hope you have a lovely bath.”

“Of course.” She hung up, then, leaving Oz once more alone with his thoughts.

Rather than going to bed- or getting a bath of his own, as he really ought- he pulled himself to his feet, leaning heavily on his walking stick as he made his way into his bedroom. He never let his friends into his bedroom. It was his private sanctum, and he also couldn’t let them find out about the charts dominating one wall.

The current focus of his attention was two pictures, one of Qrow and one of James. There was a line drawn between them, and other lines of other colors connecting them to other people.

Oz leaned on the wall, tracing the lines from James to several other women, including Glynda. Each of _those_ women were only connected to other women, except for one.

He smiled. He was right. He _knew_ he was right.

He was always right.

Eventually.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You can't prove Oz _doesn't_ have a shipping chart.
> 
> Snow Orin belongs to wyomingsmustache and cili-ai on Tumblr (that's me and my lady, for those of you not in the know). We made her for Glynda and she's cool.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> James pays a visit to his goddaughter.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This contains parts 5 and 6 of what was posted to my blog.
> 
> Those of you who are interested in me for RWBY exclusively might be interested to learn that I now I have RWBY blog on Tumblr! The url is portsmustache for anyone who cares.

Things were quiet at Batter Up the next morning, since Winter was in class until twelve and the girls were in school for the day. James sat behind the counter, going over the few applications that had been brought in since yesterday, while Qrow hummed around the kitchen, getting cakes mixed and put in either the oven or the fridge. The smell of rum drifted from the kitchen, joined by the smell of cakes and icing.

After awhile, Qrow came out into the front room, a pen and pad of paper in hand.

“Hey Jimmy, what shirt size do you wear?” he asked.

“James. And double-x-l. Why?”

Qrow eyed James over. Yeah, he’d just bet he was a double-x-l, and not because he was fat, either. James had elected to abandon his full suit in favor of a collared shirt and slacks, and Qrow could see muscles bunching and shifting under his sleeves each time he moved, could see his chest pulling at his buttons, could see where his waistband hugged a taut stomach. In fact Qrow would be willing to bet that double-x-l might not be enough to cover him, but who was he to argue? Eye candy was eye candy, straight or not.

“I’m getting us all shirts to wear in the shop,” Qrow said. “You know, make us all matchy-matchy.”

“Uniform,” James mused. “Very professional.”

“Yeah, that’s the word.” Qrow sat down and wrote in James’ shirt size on his paper. He glanced over at the corner, where the dog was chewing contentedly on a rope toy. “Hey, think we should get Zwei a little doggy t-shirt too?”

James followed his gaze. Zwei, sensing himself at the center of attention, perked up his head and cocked it curiously, wagging his tail at them.

“I’ve been meaning to talk to you about that, actually,” James said. “If the health inspector sees him in here, we’ll be shut down.”

“You think? But he stays out of the kitchen.”

“Doesn’t matter. Dog hair gets in the air, gets in the kitchen, gets in the cakes.. he’s a health hazard. He’ll have to go.”

“But he’s our mascot. Besides, I can’t keep him in my apartment and until Tai gets back in the country I don’t really have anything to do with him during the day.”

James furrowed his brow, trying to place the name. “Your… brother?” he guessed.

“Brother-in-law,” Qrow corrected. “He’s not in the country so I’m stuck with the kids and the mutt until he gets back. You got any bright ideas? Zwei’s a very clean dog, you know.”

“I’m sure he is, but there are still rules.” He thought about the problem for a moment. “I suppose… maybe Penny? My goddaughter,” he added, at Qrow’s inquisitive look. “She’s homeschooled, so she’ll be at home during the day, and I’m sure she wouldn’t mind looking after him.”

“Huh.” Qrow shrugged. “Fine, it’s better than nothing. Once Winter gets here to cover the register you can take him over and ask. In the meantime…” He slid off the stool and went over to pick up Zwei, who barked and wagged his tail at the attention. “…I’ll take this little guy to stay in the office. Will that be okay?”

“As long as he doesn’t poop on the rug. And wash your hands when you’re done!”

“Duh!”

o/o

After Winter arrived for her first shift- promptly at a few minutes before twelve, as promised- James left her and Qrow to handle the shop while he clipped Zwei’s leash on and headed out and down the road to see Penny.

Honestly, he should have taken a bus or a cab, but it was such a nice day out that he decided to just walk instead. It was a bit of a hike from the college-business streets of their area to the ritzier part of town where Penny and her father lived, but he liked the exercise.

He took the time to think, about Qrow, mostly. His first impression of the man had been a mess: drunk, scruffy, unkempt, and hasty to make decisions that had no true basis in any thought that James could follow. And Oz’s words didn’t help; he was obviously hoping James would introduce some well-needed order into Qrow’s life. If Oz felt he was in such deep need that he had to resort to one of his schemes, who knew how deep the mess of a rabbit hole went.

All the same, there was something… _about_ Qrow. Something unnameable that James couldn’t put his finger on, but something that made him think there was more to him than James was giving him credit for. He’d seen Qrow watching him closely; he was obviously an _observant_ man, but what conclusions was he forming? How much could he tell about James by such close scrutiny?

And this had been while bottles deep in his cooking rum (Oz had been right, a surprising amount _had_ made it into the cake- but since James was surprised by _any_ amount, this wasn’t saying much), so James could only imagine how he’d be sober.

If James was honest with himself- truly honest, not the honest that he thought of as honest- the _something_ unnameable about Qrow sent a thrill down his spine at his mere proximity. And he wanted to know more.

o/o

Penny and her companion-slash-classmate Ciel were just getting up from lunch when James finally reached the house. Penny greeted him with a cheery ‘Salutations!’ and a hug that had him grinning, while Ciel gave him a polite bow, then tapped her watch and reminded Penny that they had class soon. Then she bid him good afternoon and went back to their classroom so James and Penny could speak privately.

“Hello, Penny,” James said fondly. “How are you today?”

“I’m very well, Uncle! Our tutor said that Ciel and I had reached an understanding of basic algebra sufficient to advance to the next level, and in art, I received high praise for my painting of an orange.”

“That’s good! I’m certain you’ll excel just as quickly in those areas as you always do.” He patted her head and offered his arm so they could step out back into the garden. “I actually wanted to ask a favor of you,” he said, once they were outside. He had taken a seat on the stone bench while Penny knelt to pet Zwei. “About the dog, actually. He belongs to my new business partner and we’re unable to keep him at the shop during the day. I was wondering if you’d mind watching him here.”

“But I have class during the day.”

“I know. But you wouldn’t have to watch him that closely- and it would only be for a few weeks, until his owner is back.”

“He is a very cute dog…” Penny beamed and rubbed her cheek against Zwei’s soft fur. “All right. I would be happy to help!”

“Thank you.” At the back door, Ciel appeared, tapping her watch pointedly. “I guess you have to go now,” James said. He stood and held out his arm once more. “I’ll walk you to class.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You might think I'm stretching with making James and Penny cute, but in my defense: this is a light romance novel in its early stages, actual bad feelings are for later, and, Penny speaks fondly of Ironwood in canon so we can assume that she has a decent relationship with him. Anyway, until we see anything in canon to refute it, I'm sticking by it.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Glynda checks on James.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've _nearly_ got all the set-up out of the way, which is good because then I can get to the story.

James took Zwei after Winter arrived, leaving Qrow to train his new employee alone. Fortunately, business was slow, so he was able to show Winter around the shop with no trouble. It wasn’t like there was much to show her- there was the main room, where they had the display cases, a pair of comfortable benches for customers waiting on a cake, and a table where customers could look through the books of cake designs Qrow kept out.

The counter was on the right hand side of the room, and behind it was the door to the kitchen, and beyond that, at the back of the building, was the freezer and the store room. They didn’t spend long at that; with no one else at the store, Qrow didn’t want to leave the front unattended too long.

On the back wall of the front room were two doors; one led to a small restroom and the other led to the office, which had a desk and two chairs and a computer and a filing cabinet, and not much else to speak of. It wasn’t extravagant, but it was _his_ , and that was important.

Once he’d given her the ‘grand tour’, he took her back into the kitchen to get started on an order, but he’d barely had a chance to set everything out than the bell over the door jingled, announcing the arrival of a customer. He glanced through the window between the kitchen and the main room, and saw a woman standing at the counter, looking around.

“Right, I need to go take care of this customer,” he said. “Think you can handle things here?”

Winter glanced from Qrow to the recipe card for the cake they were making, then to the ingredients they’d laid out, and finally to the oven, pre-heating in the corner. She pursed her lips. “Of course,” she said. “I’ll be fine.”

“Good girl.” He patted her shoulder and headed out front, where the woman was now flipping idly through the one of the design books on the counter.

“Welcome to Batter Up, where we have cakes and also additional cakes,” he said. “Something I can help you with?”

The woman peered over the top of her glasses at him. He got the strong feeling he was being judged.

“You’re Qrow, right? I’m Glynda. I’m a friend of Ozpin and James.”

“Name rings a bell. You’re the one that got married last month, right?”

“That’s me.”

“Congratulations. So what brings you to Batter Up? Need a cake made?”

“Oz wanted me to check on James, and see how he was settling in here.”

“And he couldn’t do it himself because…?”

“You know Oz.” She shrugged. “He has his reasons, and he doesn’t always share.”

Qrow just snorted. “Of course. Well, Jimmy is out right now, and I don’t know when he’ll be back. You can wait around for him if you want. We have benches. They even have cushions on them.”

“I might, thanks.” She considered him for a moment. “You know, he hates being called Jimmy.”

“I noticed.” He shrugged. “So tell me about him, then. What can I expect from working with him? I’m having trouble getting a read on him, he’s so closed off.”

“Well…” She considered his question a moment. “He’s a very compassionate man, but he’s also stubborn and convinced he knows best, no matter what, so that doesn’t always come across.” Another moment of thought. “Oblivious? He’s very, _very_ oblivious.”

“What do you mean?”

“I mean that in the time that I’ve known him, I’ve _only_ ever dated women, and he still didn’t pick up on me being a lesbian. He once walked in on me kissing my girlfriend at the time and went on for seven and a half minutes about how important it was that people have such close friends.”

“ _Ooooh.”_ Understanding dawned. “He’s one of _those_.”

“Right.”

Before he can say anything else, the bell over the door tinkled merrily and James came in.

“Penny said she’d be happy to look after Zwei during the day,” he said, then turned his smile to Glynda. “And hello to you. I wasn’t expecting to see you- what brings you here?”

“I wanted to see how you were getting on,” Glynda said, at the same time that Qrow said, “Oz sent her.”

“ _And_ I wanted to see for myself that you were settling in.”

“I am,” James said, shooting Qrow a look. “I can already tell Qrow and I are going to make a good team.”

“Is that so,” Glynda said, raising a disbelieving eyebrow. 

Once more they were interrupted, though, by a crash from the kitchen. Qrow hurried into the back, James close on his heels, to find smoke pouring out of the oven and cake batter everywhere, pans and ingredients scattered on the floor, and Winter in the middle of it all, looking utterly stunned. Qrow stared, then glanced back at James.

“Remember when I said she couldn’t be worse than Ruby?”

“Yes..?”

“I may need to retract that.”

While Qrow put out the stove and cleaned up the mess, James took Winter in hand to talk to her. She stood almost at attention, chewing her lip nervously while she watched him. He folded his arms and stared down at her; behind him, he could hear Qrow muttering to himself while he cleaned.

“You said you could bake,” James said.

Winter just turned her gaze to the floor. “I thought I could. It didn’t seem so hard when I was watching the help do it.”

“Hey!” Qrow stopped mopping to glare at her. “I’ve spent most of my life perfecting these recipes. It’s not as _easy_ as it _looks_.”

“I know that _now_ ,” she said. “But I _thought_ it would be.”

“So you lied.” James shot Qrow a pointed look; Qrow just rolled his eyes and went back to cleaning. “What else did you lie to us about?”

“Just that.” She looked up, meeting his eye. “Please don’t fire me.”

“What?!” Qrow squawked and stormed over, letting his mop fall to the floor with a thunk. “You lie in your interview, you destroy my kitchen, and you waste an entire cake’s worth of ingredients, and you think you get to keep your job? That’s not how it _works_ , kid.”

Winter frowned, and turned her attention back to James. It was clear she saw him as the true authority in the store. “Please. I need this job.”

“Then I suggest you start telling us the truth,” James said. “What _can_ you do?”

“Honestly?”

“That’ll be a novelty,” Qrow muttered, grabbing his mop again. They both ignored him.

“Honestly, I’ve never worked a day in my life. I come from a very wealthy family, and my father has provided everything for me.”

“Thought you said you needed this job.”

“Qrow.” James gestured for Winter to go on. She took a deep breath.

“My father… does not approve of certain choices I’ve made recently. He’s cut off my allowance. I need a job. I don’t have _any_ experience working, and perhaps I’ve made a few… errors in judgment on how doable it is, but I _am_ a quick learner. Maybe I _can’t_ bake a cake _now_ , but I _can_ learn _how_. If you’ll give me a chance…”

She fell silent, looking hopefully from one to another. James turned his attention to Qrow.

“Qrow…”

Qrow frowned. “ _You_ were the one who didn’t want to hire her.” James just folded his arms. Qrow sighed. “You can finish out your shift,” he said. “We’ll talk later about whether you’ll have more.”

This earned him a smile. He rolled his eyes.

“Jimmy, take her out front and show her how to run a cash register. She can at least make herself useful somehow.” He muttered some more, while James and Winter made their way up front.

“It’s James,” he said, by way of reminder. Qrow ignored him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "You two are certainly close."  
> "James, this is my girlfriend."  
> "Girlfriend, right! Female friendship is so important, isn't it?"


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Winter's future is up for discussion.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So that episode was a thing and it contained much Iron Qrow and kicked my butt back into gear so have a new chapter.

Glynda was still in the front room when James led Winter in. He made Winter wait in the front while he and Glynda stepped outside; he wanted to talk to her in private, without Winter or Qrow hearing.

“What are you really doing here?” he asked, once they were outside.

“Oz asked me to check on you,” she said, shrugging slightly. “He didn’t say why. He wanted to make sure you were getting settled in.”

“He couldn’t have come himself?” James shook his head. “He’s up to something. Could it really be as simple as wanting me to introduce structure into Qrow’s life?” He glanced behind him at the shop. He couldn’t see Qrow from this angle, but he knew he was in there cleaning up. “I can’t see that as all there is to it,” he said. “Qrow might not come across as structured, but I think he is, more than he lets on. He _could_  do this without me, it would just be harder. So what is Oz playing at?”

Glynda rested a hand on his shoulder, her touch reassuring and gentle. He smiled down at her; she always was good at grounding him. If only she-

-but that was in the past. He shut down that line of thought and shifted his position, subconsciously taking on a military stance while Glynda backed off and folded her arms, still watching him.

“Whatever his game is, I have a job to do. At least it’s something to do now, that isn’t sitting around at home feeling sorry for myself.”

Glynda smiled at that. “You haven’t sat around at home feeling sorry for yourself a day in your life,” she said. “What you were doing is called ‘recovering’ and it’s important for someone who went through what you did. Who knows? Maybe that’s what Oz sent you here for- to get you up and going again. It’ll be good for you. You aren’t likely to lose any more body parts in a bakery.”

“You haven’t met Qrow’s nieces, I see,” he said, giving her a smile of his own- a genuine smile, she noticed. It was almost a relief- she hadn’t seen one of those on him in awhile.

o/o

After Glynda left, James went back inside to see to Winter. She was sat at the table by the window, flipping through the cake book and casting occasional guilty glances toward the kitchen, where Qrow had apparently finished cleaning and was mixing a new cake. He was singing quietly to himself, a song about two crows sitting on a fence, and he seemed less upset than he had when they’d left him.

He was also drinking liberally from the bottle of cooking rum sitting on the counter. James made a mental note to talk to him about that later- at least he was pouring it in a glass and not just upending the bottle, which would have been yet another health concern.

When she heard James enter, Winter stood up straight and turned to face him, almost at attention in the way she stood.

“What’s your shirt size?” James asked. The question caught her off-guard; she looked down at her front, then back up at him, confused. “In case we decide to keep you on,” he said. “We’re getting shirts made for everyone. Sit down.”

He gestured at the chair she’d been sitting in, and took the other one, folding his hands on the table in front of her and giving her a stern look.

“You’re a Schnee,” he said. “From the main branch of the family, correct?”

“That’s right.”

“I thought so. I remember hearing rumors of a scandal in the family a few months back, but it was hushed up before anyone could get details. You, I presume?”

“Yes.” Her back was ramrod straight now, her fists clenched in front of her, so hard that they were shaking. “I- chose a path my father did not approve of. He told me to make a choice and I… did.” She glanced down at her hands, slowly unclenched them. “I’m fortunate that he still allows me to oversee my sister’s studies, even. If he had tried to take her away from me…” She swallowed. Blinked. Looked back up at him, eyes hard. “I hope that you and Mr. Branwen will allow me to stay on as your employee, but I will understand if you choose to let me go. My shirt size is from a small to an xl, depending on what company produces the shirts and what planets were in line at the time of production.”

James nodded, and made a mental note of that, then stood and gestured to the register. “I’ll show you how to use this,” he said. “And if you do well, maybe that will persuade Qrow to keep you on.”

o/o

At three, Winter left to see to her sister. Before she left, she turned to Qrow and asked, “Am I still expected to come back at five?”

“If you don’t, you’re fired,” he’d replied. “Jimmy and I will have a talk while you’re out about whether we’re keeping you. We’ll tell you what we figure out when you get back.”

James had watched her until she’d turned out of the little alleyway their shop was tucked back into, one just deep enough for a small parking lot. It was a terrible location, honestly, but Qrow was optimistic about their proximity to the college, and the amount of foot traffic between other businesses. James actually had some ideas about how to use those to their advantage, but that would be for later- he and Qrow had already scheduled a meeting for the end of James’ first week, so he’d have time to think up what needed to be done.

In the meantime, James glanced up at the clock once Winter was out of sight. “How long until your nieces arrive?” he asked. Qrow glanced at the clock as well.

“Bout half an hour.”

“We should talk now, then. Before they get here.”

“Yeah, yeah.” Qrow jammed one hand down into his pockets and headed to the office, waving the other over his shoulder to indicate James was to follow him. He left the office door open; they could see the door from there, and would know if anyone came in.

James leaned back onto the desk while Qrow leaned back against the doorframe, and for several minutes the two stared at each other, sizing one another up.

“She lied,” Qrow said, eventually. “More importantly, she can’t bake, and that’s what I need her for.”

“Not really,” James pointed out. “You have Yang to help you bake, and Winter ran the register fine. In fact, you need someone on the register more, because I can’t be here all the time and you can’t be running out constantly to see to customers when you’re in the middle of an order.”

Qrow squinted suspiciously at James. “What’s with the change of heart, anyway?” he asked. “You got the hots for her or something?”

“She’s a child.”

“Eh, twenty-one.” He waved his hand absently, shooing that idea away. “Not that much younger than you. What, twenty years? That’s not too bad. Can’t bang her if you’re her boss, though.”

“I’m not interested in having relations with her.”

“That’s good, she’s a lesbian anyway.” Qrow waved that away, too. “But like I said, you were the one who didn’t want me to hire her. What gives?”

“That was before I understood her situation.”

“You mean that sob story about her dad cutting her off? Yeah, I feel real bad for the princess who’s suddenly a pauper. Maybe after she’s had to ride her own luck for awhile she’ll learn a thing or two about how hard things are. No matter _how_  easy the ‘help’ makes it look.”

He sneered at that, spitting the word like a broken tooth. James raised an eyebrow. “Yes, that is why I changed my mind. I’ve been in her position before, not her exact position but one similar. I’m… sympathetic.”

“Of course you have,” Qrow said, sneer deepening. “Had you pegged for a rich daddy’s boy the minute you walked in.” He glanced around as the door jingled, signalling the appearance of his nieces. “She can stay for now, but she’s your department now. I don’t want her in my kitchen until she knows how to not destroy it.”

He turned and headed off to join his nieces, sneer already replaced with a cocky grin as he threw an arm around Yang’s shoulder and ruffled Ruby’s hair with his other hand. James frowned, unsure of what had just happened between them.

At least he’d persuaded Qrow to keep Winter, anyway. Though, with the way Qrow spoke of her, he couldn’t help wondering if that might not be the best thing after all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Also I recolored Glynda from "Ironwood's exasperated friend who he had a crush on" to "Ironwood's exasperated bff that he had a crush on" because their friendship is very important to me.


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ruby meets Penny.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was really disappointed about not getting to write Ruby meeting Penny before I lost interest, but I'm glad I waited because this actually works way better.

James looked away for just a second, and when he looked back Ruby was hanging from Qrow’s shoulder’s chattering excitedly.

“Hey Uncle Qrow, where’s Zwei?” she asked, quite suddenly. She slipped off his back and looked around, peeking into the office in case the dog might be in there. Qrow reached over and patted her head to get her attention.

“Jimmy here says we can’t keep him in the shop or the health inspector will close us down.”

“But Zwei is a very clean dog!”

“That’s what I said!” Qrow gave James an indignant look. “He took him around to stay with his goddaughter during the day, but now he can take you to pick him up, hey? I think we can tie him outside if all four of us are here to keep an eye on him. You mind, Jimmy?” he added, glancing up at James.

“Of course not,” James said, a little surprised. There was something new in Qrow’s eyes- he wanted James to go away. James was used to feeling unwelcome in places- he could be a bit stiff and overbearing, he knew- but usually this came from people that he hadn’t thought he was on good terms with. “It’s not too far,” he added to Ruby. “We can walk if you don’t mind.”

“I don’t mind! I like walking. And running. And the bus is stuffy anyway.” She dashed over and grabbed his hand, tugging him toward the door. “Come on, the sooner we get him the sooner we can come back!”

“You’re not wrong,” James said, amused, and followed behind her. He cast a glance back at Qrow as he left, confused and just a little hurt by the sudden animosity.

o/o

Once they were well on their way to Penny’s, James and Ruby slowed down. Ruby stopped chattering so much as well, and they walked in silence for awhile, punctuated only slightly by Ruby’s soft humming.

“Ruby,” he said suddenly, when they stopped at a crosswalk. “Is your uncle… prone to mood swings?”

“Hmm?” She turned to look up at him. “I don’t think so. I mean… not more than anyone else, I guess. Why?”

“I’m not sure… I suppose I’m just not used to him yet.” He shook his head. “Never mind. I’m sorry. I just take too long to get used to people, I guess.”

“I get that.” The light blinked walk, and they made their way across the road at a quick clip. Ruby flipped her hood back, tilted her head back so she could smile up at him. “I’m not very good at strangers either. But I think Uncle Qrow likes you. He said you have a cute butt.”

James stopped dead in his tracks; a passerby careened into him, and he caught and steadied her before hurrying after Ruby. “I’m sorry… what?”

“He said you had a cute butt and that he could climb you like the tree you practically are. Then Yang told him Dad said he’s not allowed to say stuff like that around us anymore.” She shrugged. “So I think he likes you.”

“When did he say this?”

“Last night.”

Last night. So whatever had changed Qrow’s mind about him had happened today- no doubt regarding the meeting about Winter, since they’d been getting along fine before then. James wanted to ask Ruby more questions, but he didn’t feel that was fair- he doubted she could help anyway. He sighed. Maybe Oz could give him some insight- he’d call him tonight, and ask.

In the meantime- “Here’s the house,” he said, gesturing. “I hope you don’t mind me getting Penny to sit for Zwei during the day.”

“No, I get it. It’s like the child labor laws, right? No kids. No dogs.”

He smiled. “Something like that.”

o/o

Ciel had already gone home by the time they got there, so it was just Penny, playing in the garden with Zwei. She threw herself into James’ arms when he came in, laughing while he swung her around- his favorite thing about Penny, he thought. They could be apart for only a few hours, and she always acted like she hadn’t seen him in ages.

Once he’d set her down, he introduced her to Ruby, then left them to talk while he went upstairs to speak to Penny’s father- he could trust two friendly teenage girls to entertain each other for a few minutes, and he needed to speak to Dr. Polendina.

Penny waited till he was gone, then turned and gave Ruby a slightly-unnervingly-massive grin, met by a nervous smile and wave from Ruby. Penny waved back.

“Greetings! My name is Penny!”

“Hi Penny,” Ruby said weakly. “Um. Thanks for taking care of my dog.”

“Oh, that was no problem at all!” Her smile faltered a little. “Are you here to take him home?”

“What? Oh.. yeah…” Ruby nodded. “But I think Mr. Ironwood is going to bring him here every day while we’re at school, so you can play with him a lot more tomorrow.”

“That’s not true,” Penny said. “I don’t have much time to play between my classes. Though, I do have some time, so, perhaps it will be a lot when it’s combined.”

“That’s the spirit.” Ruby hesitated, then grinned. “You know, you could always come over and hang out with me and my sister. You can play with Zwei some more there. And us, too.”

“Really?” Penny’s grin was back. “That would be lovely! I’ve never been to another girl’s house before.”

“You haven’t?” Ruby looked stunned. “Never?”

“Well… I have been to luncheons and dinner parties,” she admitted. “But I have never been over to just ‘hang out’.”

“Well you can come hang out with us!” Ruby said, suddenly excited. She rocked back on her heels, beaming. “You can even come back with us now, if you want. If Mr. Ironwood doesn’t mind.”

“Oh I’m sure he wouldn’t. I’ll ask my father.”

“Ask him what?” James asked, returning to the foyer to find himself on the receiving end of two alarming grins.

“Can Penny come back with us to the shop?” Ruby asked, while Penny nodded. 

“If Father says I may, may I? I would very much like to hang out with Ruby some more!”

Ironwood opened his mouth to tell her he didn’t mind, then stopped himself. Qrow’s bitter words about Winter echoed in his mind, the disgusted way he’d called her a princess, had accused James of being a ‘rich daddy’s boy’. He couldn’t bring Penny around Qrow, not until he could be sure the man would behave himself. Winter, he suspected, could handle herself, but Penny was delicate and had little experience with the outside world- if Qrow made one of his snide remarks at her, it could be a blow to her ego that might take too long to recover from.

“I… don’t think today would be a good idea,” he said. “I’d rather not have too many people hanging around at the shop that aren’t customers, at least not until we have more structure.”

The disappointed look- mirrored on Ruby’s face as well- almost broke both his heart and his resolve, but he steeled himself, and placed a gentle hand on her shoulder, giving her a reassuring smile. “I’m sorry, Penny. Another time- today just isn’t a good day for it.” When she didn’t _quite_  smile back up at him, he added, “If Ruby wanted to stay here, I’m sure your father wouldn’t mind.”

“Yeah!” Ruby said, forcing a smile in place of her disappointed look. “I can call Uncle Qrow and I’m sure he wouldn’t mind.”

Penny smiled, and nodded. “All right! There is plenty to do here, as well. It will be exciting!”

The girls clasped their hands together, both excited again, and James let out a soft relieved smile. Good. Penny was happy, and he wouldn’t have to worry about Qrow saying something to hurt her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ironwood keeps Penny from doing stuff in canon = James is a fussy overprotective mother hen. Obviously.


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> James and Qrow talk.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "Wow Theo so many updates!" Yeah well I cap my chapters between 1/1.5k that's really easy to write quickly.

After James and Ruby left to pick up Zwei, Qrow and Yang had a seat at the table. There was nothing to do for the moment: the kitchen was tidy, there were displays up, cakes in the fridge waiting to be cooked, and no customers to be waited on.

Yang flipped through the book idly while Qrow scribbled possible t-shirt designs on a piece of scrap paper.

“So what do you think of James?” Qrow asked, breaking the idle silence.

Yang shrugged. “Not much different than yesterday. I still think he seems kind of stuffy. But he seems to know what he’s doing, I guess. Why are you asking?”

“I don’t know.” Qrow frowned and scribbled over his design irritably. “I’m having second thoughts, I think.”

“Is it cause you want to touch his butt and can’t if you’re coworkers?”

“His butt is off-limits even if we aren’t coworkers, he’s as straight as your dad. According to Oz, anyway.” Qrow frowned and started scribbling another design. “But I don’t think that’s it. I don’t normally mind when the eye candy isn’t interested. No, it’s something else.” He huffed and scratched out the new design. “Maybe I’m just taking longer to get used to him than I do most people. He’s so hard to _read_.”

“I’m sure it’s just the stress of starting a new business while also starting a whole new partnership.”

“You think?”

Yang shrugged. “Either that, or you just _really_  want to touch his butt and you’re frustrated that you’re not allowed to.”

“Maybe…”

While he considered that angle, the entry bell tinkled behind them and a young woman came in to make a cake order. Qrow got up to help her, and by the time she’d gone, their conversation had been forgotten.

o/o

When James got back to the shop, Qrow was behind the register. He looked up at James’ entrance, and James was relieved to see that much of his animosity from before seemed to be gone.

“What gives, Jimmy? I sent you to pick up the dog, and you come back without the dog or the kid I sent you with.”

James looked surprised. “Ruby said that she called you to let you know she was staying with Penny,” he said. Could Ruby have lied? But no, Qrow is already grinning.

“I know, you dope. I’m just teasing you.”

An hour ago he didn’t seem to want James near him, now he was teasing? James sighed, and touched light fingers to his forehead while he tried to sort his thoughts out. What was going on?

“All right, Jim?” Qrow actually seemed concerned, which only served to make James more confused than ever. He shook his head.

“I’m fine- I-” He considered. Remembered the Penny situation. “When Winter gets here, may I speak with you privately?”

“Sure.” Qrow shrugged. “She’ll be here in about an hour, I think. I need you to run register until then, Yang and I have an order to work on.”

“Thank you.”

o/o

An hour later, after Winter had arrived and been set on register- Yang was in the back tidying the kitchen- and Qrow and James disappeared into the office for the second time that day.

“So what’s up?” Qrow asked, arms folded slightly defensively. “Something happen with the kid? By the way, Ruby said you didn’t want too many kids hanging around, but I really don’t mind. She can come over if she wants- it’ll make it look like we have customers, if nothing else. Unless that was an excuse and you didn’t want her over for some other reason.”

“Actually, that’s what I wanted to talk to you about,” James said. “I’m not sure about bringing Penny around…” He sighed. “…around you.”

“What?” Qrow’s eyebrows shot up. “Why me? What’d I do?”

“Nothing- yet. But your comments about Winter and myself make me hesitate to expose Penny to such animosity. She’s a delicate child- a bit sheltered, I admit, but…”

He trailed off, because Qrow’s brow had furrowed in confusion when James began speaking, but now he was glaring. He jabbed a finger in James’ direction.

“Listen, James. If you’re talking about me calling Winter out on being snotty or pointing out that you were a rich daddy’s boy-” He ignored the way James’ face hardened over this. “-then you can just back up right there. You and Winter are a couple of grown-ass adults, I’m not gonna throw shade at a _child_  for those things. I may be a bit of a bum but I have some standards.” He scoffed, and waved a hand, turning away haughtily. “Let the kid come over if she wants,” he said. “I promise I’ll be on my _best_  behavior.”

“Thank you,” James said. “I, uh…” he rubbed the back of his neck awkwardly. “Also wanted to talk to you about your drinking.”

Qrow froze in the middle of taking a flask out of his pocket. “…look, there’s only so much I can give up, Jimmy.”

James sighed. He’d have to compromise. “I only meant while you were cooking,” he said. “I’m not sure how sanitary it is, especially since you’re cooking with the same rum you’re drinking.”

Qrow glanced down at the flask in his hand. “Yeah, that’s fair. I’ll make sure to use two sources while I cook.”

James had the feeling that was the best he was going to get. “Thank you.”

“Meh.” Qrow upended his flask, then returned it to his pocket and gestured toward the door. “Did you really think I would drag a kid like that?” he asked, as they were leaving the office.

“I’ve only known you for twenty four hours,” James replied. “And I admit that I _can_  get a bit overprotective where Penny is concerned. She’s very precious to me.”

“Yeah?” Qrow raised an eyebrow at him, then turned his gaze to the kitchen window, where he could just see Yang wiping down the counter. His expression softened a bit. “Yeah, I get that.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Qrow wants to touch the butt.


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Qrow and James talk.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is a little bit shorter than I usually do, but that's because I wanted to put the three phone calls to Oz into one chapter, and had to cut off here. However, I'm going to be smushing things down into less chapters soon anyway, so it doesn't really matter much.

The rest of the evening dragged on. Ruby returned around sundown, chattering happily about her evening spent with Penny. James kept half an ear on her steady stream of words while he worked, smiling to himself. Penny didn’t have many- any, really- friends, but it sounded like that had changed now. It was nice to hear someone her own age talking so favorably about her, too. He knew she could be a bit awkward around other children, but Ruby seemed to have barrelled past that awkwardness and befriended her anyway.

Qrow grinned and leaned down to noogie Ruby playfully. “Sounds like you had a blast, kiddo,” he said. “And listen, Jimmy and I talked and we’re both agreed that Penny is welcome to come hang around the shop whenever she likes. Right?”

He raised an eyebrow at James, who nodded. “Right,” he said.

With Ruby around to keep them entertained, time picked up pace, and before they knew it it was time to close the shop for the evening. Winter volunteered to walk to girls home while Qrow and James sorted out the books for the evening. It wasn’t particularly necessary- they only lived around the corner, and even if someone did try to give them trouble, both girls knew how to throw a punch- but James got the feeling Winter was trying to make a good impression and gave Qrow a significant Look until he agreed with a dismissive wave of his hand.

There wasn’t much to do to set the books in order for the night. They’d only had a handful of customers throughout the day. The register only took about ten minutes to count; when they’d finished, Qrow sighed and leaned back, rubbing at his temples.

“I know it takes time for businesses to get momentum,” he said. “But it’s still really hard to wait.” He sat up and leaned over to start putting in the numbers. “Good thing I didn’t drop all my winnings on this place. I’m gonna need something to live on until we start turning a profit.”

James glanced over at him. “Winnings?”

“Hmm? Oh, Oz didn’t tell you the whole story, I guess.” He leaned back and folded his hands behind his head. “About… six months ago I made a trip to Vegas. I’d had a bit of a windfall, I’d never been, you know how it is. Well, I guess _you_  don’t, but anyway… while I was there I got… very, _very_  lucky. Came home with a lot more money than I went in with.”

“That is lucky,” James said. “Not a lot of people leave Vegas with a heavy profit.”

“Right? Anyway… so suddenly I’ve got this small fortune, and I think, I could buy a yacht, splurge on lots of fancy gifts for the girls- not that I didn’t, mind you- or I could try out being a sugar daddy for a while…” He trailed off. Shrugged. “But when I was a kid I kind of had this idea at the back of my mind of owning a bakery. Thought I’d give that a try.”

“Who taught you to bake?”

“My mom. She was amazing- could have been world class, if she’d had the chance. Instead she gets stuck cooking meals for people with more money than sense… yeah, my mom was _the help_ ,” he said, sneering, glaring over at James as if daring him to comment. “Now you know my ~tragic backstory~.”

He’d been in a cheery mood while they were doing the books, but now he’d fallen back into his sullen mood from before. At least James could guess, now, where his animosity that evening had come from- he turned his chair around, rested his hands lightly on his knees.

“…I wasn’t a spoiled rich kid,” he said. “We were, I guess you could say comfortable, but hardly rich. We didn’t have ‘help’.” He stared down at his hands. “I’m not your enemy, Qrow.”

Qrow side-eyed him irritably, then snorted and turned back to the books. “I know you’re not my enemy, James.”

“You seemed to think so earlier.”

Qrow looked over at him, then back at the books. He chewed his lip nervously, but otherwise said nothing or did anything more to acknowledge James’ presence. James sighed and turned back around to his own books.

They finished in uncomfortable silence, their only conversation that necessary for their work, and very soon they were ready to go. Qrow locked up the safe and they headed out, walking together to the end of the alleyway.

James found that, quite suddenly, he didn’t want them to part just yet. Qrow was upset- with him, maybe, or maybe just in general- and James didn’t want there to be animosity between them. He didn’t want to come into work tomorrow and sit in awkward, unpleasant silence all day. He wanted to talk to him, figure out what was wrong and sort it out.

But Qrow was already bidding him a very surly good night, and James could tell that he wasn’t in a mood to talk. Qrow spun on his heel and headed down the road in the direction of his apartment, so James turned and headed off as well. His place was even farther away than Penny’s- a few blocks beyond it, in fact- but he could handle the walk, and anyway, after over a year of sitting at home ‘recovering’, he wasn’t in a hurry to spend any more time there than he had to.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Also, I'm about to drop about three chapters on you at once, so apologies to your subscribe feeds.


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> More phone calls.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In case I wasn't absolutely clear what a complete troll Ozpin is.

After he got home, James decided to give Ozpin a call. He was hoping Oz could give him some insight on Qrow, help him understand why the man had suddenly become so prickly toward him.

“I couldn’t say,” Oz said, after James laid out the entire situation. “Qrow is a difficult man to win over,” he went on. “It was never going to be easy.”

“You could have told me that before,” James said. “Before I went over there.”

“Honestly? I was worried you might refuse if I did. I think this arrangement could work out well for both of you, and I wanted you to at least try without biasing you against Qrow.”

“Well, I’m locked in a contract now, so you might as well tell me everything. I can’t leave.”

“Oh, James.” Oz sighed. “It’s not that simple. Sometimes you have to learn things for yourself.”

“Ozpin..” There was a warning in James’ voice, and in the silence he could almost _hear_  Oz’s eyes twinkling mischievously. He took a deep breath to calm himself. “What _can_  you tell me?”

“Well…” A pause, to consider. “He’s as hard-headed as you are.”

“I’m not hard-headed.”

“Yes you are. And believe me, there’s not a day that goes by that I’m not grateful for just _how_ utterly stubborn you _really_  are. And Qrow is just as stubborn. That’s why I sent you to him. Another business partner might be barreled over by the force of his personality. I feel that you, however, will have no trouble standing up to him.”

“Is that it, then? You need someone to keep him in check?”

“Only a part of it. I also thought it was time to get you out of the house.”

“You didn’t need a scheme for that, Ozpin,” James said, a little exasperated. “I was going stir-crazy- I’d have been willing to do just about anything.”

“Well….” There was a slight tilting sound on the other end of the phone. “Perhaps I was a bit too cautious there- I assumed that you’d need some pushing. And I admit I wanted to put you somewhere a little less… dangerous.”

“You’ve never met Qrow’s nieces, have you?”

The answer is almost stock, the same he gave Glynda earlier, and he says it rather than give voice to how hurt he is that Ozpin would think he needed to be put somewhere ‘safe’. It’s not that he can’t understand what Ozpin means, of course, but it’s still a blow all the same.

Oz just chuckles, though. “I have indeed met them. They’re students at my school. And yes, I’m aware of exactly how… exciting… things can be with them around.”

“Exciting is one word for it, yes.”

“I thought you might like them.”

“What? Of course I do. Ruby never stops talking, Yang makes amazing puns…” He realized he was grinning. “I like working with them- having them around. But what has that got to do with anything?”

“What indeed,” Oz said quietly. James frowned. That was Oz’s cryptic voice, which meant that James wasn’t getting answers any time soon. True to form, he switched subjects. “You should introduce Penny to them,” he said. James grinned.

“I’ve already introduced her to Ruby. They got along great. I’m not sure about bringing her around Qrow, though- he’s promised to be on his best behavior but I’m not sure…”

Once more the idea of how hurt Penny would be if Qrow aimed one of his snide remarks at her flittered through James’ head. His grip tightened on the phone in his hand, but Oz was chuckling again.

“It might be good for her, too.”

“You can’t be serious.”

“Dead serious. If you’re worried he’ll be a bad influence, don’t. Penny is a good girl, and Qrow knows where the lines are with children- he’s practically raised Yang and Ruby, and they’ve turned out well. I’m certain no harm can come from them meeting, and it will do Penny some good to get out of the house and spend time with girls her own age for a change.”

“She has Ciel…”

His argument was weak, and he knew it. When Ozpin chided him for being too much of a mother hen, he stared down at the floor, chastised. He knew how protective he could get of Penny, he didn’t need Oz to remind him.

“I have no idea why Qrow might have changed his tune toward you,” Ozpin said, after they got the conversation back on track and James returned to his original point. “Actually, I have a few ideas, but I don’t know which of them it could be. Just give him time- Qrow rarely stays truly angry for long, and I doubt you’ve done anything to make yourself an exception to that.”

“And if I have?”

“Then your contract is only for a month and I wish you the best.”

“That’s not helpful.”

“It wasn’t meant to be. I’m getting a call on the other line, we’ll talk later. Goodbye, James. And good luck.”

He hung up, then, leaving James staring down at the phone in his hand. He sighed. He should have known Ozpin would be useless.

o/o

Ozpin’s other call was- unsurprisingly- from Qrow. He grinned, glad that the other man couldn’t see him.

“You’re not allowed to have sex with James,” Ozpin said, by way of greeting. He could hear Qrow half-sputter down the line, and suppressed a laugh. True, he could take pity on the other and remind him that he was in contact with James as well as him, but this was much more fun.

“What in the world makes you think I want to?” Qrow said, after a moment to regain his composure.

Ozpin gave off the air of shrugging. “I know you,” he said. “I know your preferences. And I know how handsome James is.”

Qrow ‘hrred’ irritably. Fine, if Oz wanted to talk about that _first_ … “How in the world is that man still single?” he demanded.

Ozpin glanced over at the chart on his wall, a smile tugging at his lips. “How indeed,” he said. Qrow huffed down the line.

“That’s your cryptic voice,” he said. “What do you know that I don’t?”

“Quite a lot of things, in fact. In this case, I know that James has had a long string of romantic failures over the twenty years that I’ve known him. He has… very bad luck with women.”

Another glance at his chart. Well, that was one way to put it, anyway. On the other end, Qrow almost growled.

“Oh no. No no no. You’re not doing this to me, Oz.”

“Doing what?”

“I’m not pushing another of your friends out of the closet. The last one was embarrassing enough.”

“Qrow-”

“I should have known you were trying to pull something like this. I’m not your key to the big gay closet and I don’t need you to set me up with anyone, either.”

“Qrow.”

“ _What_?”

“That’s not what I’m doing.”

“You expect me to believe that?”

“No. But it doesn’t make it less true.” Oz sighed. A bit of discreet revelation would be necessary. “Listen, Qrow… James was involved in a terrible accident a year ago. He was badly injured and he’s spent the past year recovering. He also lost his job and has spent his year of recovery sitting at home trying to figure out what to do with his life. I sent him to you because- I thought it seemed like the perfect opportunity. A fresh start.”

Ozpin fell silent. After a moment, Qrow made a disbelieving noise down the line. “Why are you telling me this?” he demanded. “Seems the kind of personal information you’d want to keep quiet.”

“Full disclosure,” Ozpin lied. “You wouldn’t believe otherwise that it wasn’t a set up.”

There was more silence. Ozpin could almost hear Qrow squinting at the phone suspiciously, but finally he made a reluctant noise of agreement.

“And you’re sure he’s straight.”

“In the twenty years I’ve known him, I have only known him to pursue women.”

“Pursuit and attraction are two different things.”

“And I’ve never known him to express anything like attraction for men," Oz added. Technically true.

Another silence, another sound of reluctant agreement. “All right. I’ll take you at your word, then. It’s not a set up.”

“Yes. I’ve learned my lesson about those.”

“I doubt that, but thank you.”

“You wound me, Qrow. What have I ever done to earn your mistrust?”

“You want the short version or the comprehensive list?”

“Oh, would you look at that, I have another call coming through. We’ll talk later, Qrow, good night.”

“Yeah, yeah.”

o/o

Ozpin hadn’t been lying- the call was from Glynda, and once more he skipped the niceties in his greeting.

“Your timing is wonderful, Glynda,” he said. “What can I do for you?”

“You said there was something you wanted my opinion on with James,” she said. “I went to see him today. What was it you wanted to know?”

“Ah, right!” He grinned. “What did you think of Qrow?”

“The partner?” Glynda sounded surprised. “I’m not sure about him, if I’m honest.”

“No?”

“He keeps calling him Jimmy.” She was frowning down the line, he could tell. Ozpin smiled. “I know it’s not much, but you know how he hates that.”

“Yes, I do. Not enough to condemn him, though.”

“No. I guess not.” She sighed. “I just don’t like seeing him undermined so casually. I know better than anyone how overbearing he can be but to see him disrespected so… blatantly-”

“I understand,” Ozpin said. “Other than that, what did you think? Did they seem to work together well?”

“I think so. Actually, on second thought, I’m not so sure. There was a problem with an employee while I was there, and they couldn’t seem to agree on what to do about her.”

“That’s interesting…”

There was a pause.

“Oz.”

“What?”

“That’s your _cryptic_ voice. What did you do?”

“Nothing whatsoever. Good night Glynda, someone’s at my door.”

Before she could protest, Oz hung up and headed over to his door, wallet in hand. A boy with blond hair and an unbuttoned shirt was standing outside, a pizza box in one hand.

“Hello, son,” he said warmly, counting out the cost of the pizza. The boy perked up.

“Hey, cool!” he said. “How’d you do that?”

“I’m sorry?”

“Cause I mean, I took off my nametag but you still got my name right anyway. That’s pretty cool!”

Ozpin hesitated, then smiled knowingly at the boy. “I have my ways, young man,” he said, in what his friends would call his cryptic voice. “This should cover it- and the tip, of course. Have a nice night.”

“You too, sir.” The boy- Sun, presumably- handed over the pizza and waved as he headed back to his bike, no doubt planning to tell his friends about his encounter with the 'wizard’ who lived on Emerald Row. Ozpin turned around and leaned on the door, grinning. Sometimes it was almost _too_ easy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The next chapter will mark the end of act 1 (and will be a very short one), and over the next few days I'm going to copy the whole of Act 1 into a file and do some editing, then repost it as far fewer chapters before I move on to Act 2. Act 2 will probably be posted in the same format, because that's really working for me.


	11. Chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> And there's absolutely no way this could go wrong.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As soon as I knew I was writing Penny as James' goddaughter I knew this was the direction I was taking this fic. I'm so happy.

Over the next few days, things began to settle down between James and Qrow. True to Ozpin’s prediction, Qrow’s prickly behavior slowly dissipated, and he and James seemed to be back on agreeable terms again. He also seemed to object to Winter less openly, antagonizing her less than he had, though he still refused to let her into the kitchen and hadn’t failed to make it clear to her that she was on probation with him. Winter, for her part, took his behavior with dignity, though James could see when Qrow’s back was turned that she was barely holding her composure. Something was going to give soon, he could see it in her eyes.

He hoped he was around to witness it when it did, if he was honest. And not just so he could stop Winter from going too far and murdering Qrow where he stood.

Two days later, Penny made her first visit to the shop, James walking down to collect her and Zwei over his break after the girls got back from school. Ruby went with him as before, and the walk back he watched the two of them walking ahead of him, talking happily like they’d been friends for life. It made him smile to see Penny so happy- maybe Ozpin was right, maybe this would be good for her, too.

James held his breath in anticipation while Penny was introduced to Qrow, but Qrow just shook her hand very politely, giving her that cheery, cocky grin that James was beginning to recognize as a warm smile from him, and reassured her that she was perfectly welcome to visit the shop any time she liked, so long as she didn’t cause any trouble. Then he disappeared into the kitchen to work on an order, while Ruby dragged Penny outside to help her hand out fliers they’d made for the shop.

“Make sure you stay close to Ruby,” James called after her. “And watch out for cars and stray animals.”

“Yes, sir!” Penny saluted happily, then waved and followed Ruby outside.

James turned back to move behind the register and found Qrow leaning on the kitchen window staring at him with amusement glittering in his eyes.

“What?”

“You are such a mother hen.” Qrow gave him the cocky smile. James frowned.

“I am not.”

“Yes you are. The girl’s, what, fifteen? She’s old enough not to have you breathing down her neck and controlling everything she does.”

“I do _not_ control her,” James snapped. Judging by the way Qrow’s eyebrows were climbing up to get acquainted with his hairline, Qrow had no more missed the growl in James’ voice than James had. He took a deep breath. “I’m sorry. I just mean- I worry about her, that’s all. I just want her to stay safe.” He clenched and unclenched his hand in front of him. “There was an accident,” he said quietly, when Qrow still looked disbelieving. “We almost lost her. If I’m overprotective, it’s because I’m scared that next time, I really _will_ lose her.”

“I didn’t mean anything by it,” Qrow said after a moment, a rare apology in his tone. “I was just teasing you.”

“I know.” He took another breath. “I shouldn’t have snapped at you.”

“You really shouldn’t have,” Qrow agreed. “I have to get back to this order. Take a few deep breaths and calm down while the shop’s quiet.”

“Right.”

o/o

_Take a few deep breaths_ , Qrow thought. _Now follow your own advice_.

Lord but that was hot. Qrow turned his back to the front so he couldn’t see James anymore, and occupied himself with a new recipe he was experimenting with. James was getting more and more distractingly sexy by the day- Qrow was already stuffing that growl into his spank bank for later, because he could certainly enjoy imagining James growling Qrow’s name into his neck while those big hands held him down in a bruising grip, teeth and a hot tongue grazing his skin-

-oh lord. Qrow shook his head hard, shaking himself out of that fantasy. This was getting out of hand.

“What were you thinking, Oz,” Qrow muttered. “This man is going to be the death of me.”

o/o

After they finished handing out the fliers, Penny and Ruby sat down in the alleyway, backs against the wall while they watched Zwei chasing a beetle across the asphalt. They were both in high spirits, and fell into a comfortable silence as they settled down, staring up at the clear sky overhead.

“I am very glad to have met you, Ruby,” Penny said. She touched Ruby’s hand hesitantly; Ruby smiled and took Penny’s hand in her own, shifting a little so they were leaning against one another. “May I call you my friend?”

Ruby laughed, and gave Penny’s hand a squeeze. “Of course, silly! I’m glad I met you, too.”

They fell silent again; once more, it was Penny who broke the silence.

“Ruby?”

“Hmm?”

“If my uncle and your uncle got married, would that make us cousins?”

“Well, I think it would, but I don’t really think they’ll get married.”

“Why not? Does your uncle not like mine?”

“Well…” Ruby trailed off thoughtfully, recalling Uncle Qrow’s lament to her dad on the phone last night, when he’d called to check on everyone. _‘No man has a right to be that attractive if I’m not allowed to f- uh, canoodle with him_ ,’ he’d said, hastily changing his words when he’d realized Ruby was listening. Ruby smiled. “No I… I _really_ don’t think that’s the problem.”

“Then what is the problem? I am certain my uncle likes Mr. Branwen as well.”

“Are you sure?” Ruby frowned. That was at direct odds with what Uncle Qrow had told Dad. ' _Because, Tai,’_ he’d said, taking a long drink from his flask. ' _According to Oz, the man is so straight he’s the shortest distance between two points. No I don’t mean a tesseract!_ ’ “I mean… _really_ sure?”

“That’s what Father says. He says that Uncle is so far into the closet that he’s shaking hands with Prince Corin, and that it’s pretty clear he has a big dumb gay crush on Mr. Branwen and that he wishes he would just smooch him already.”

Ruby stared. She tilted her head. “…Penny, are you _absolutely sure_ about that?”

“Yes. Father says Uncle needs to be honest with himself. And he thinks your uncle would be good for him.”

There was a long silence, while Ruby considered this information alongside what she already knew. Finally she stood, pulling Penny up with her.

“Then you know what we have to do, right? We have to get them together!”

“Really?” A dazzling grin spread across Penny’s face. “And that will make them happy, right? And we will be cousins!”

“Right!”

Ruby grabbed Penny’s other hand in her free one, and the two girls danced in happy circles. There was absolutely no way this could end badly- their uncles would be happy and the shop would do well and the girls could be family and everything would be wonderful.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> End Act 1.
> 
> (The joke is that Corin is prince of Archenland, which is on the _opposite side_ of Narnia than War Drobe and Spar Oom.)


	12. Chapter 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Penny is invited to her first sleepover.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For some reason "James and Qrow fall in love" is becoming almost an afterthought to "James is the most adorable uncle to Penny ever and Qrow is also there" whoops
> 
> This is the beginning of Act 2!

That Saturday, James stopped on his way to work to collect Penny in the morning. She had her overnight bag- a pretty green and teal backpack with a cute set of charms hanging from the zipper- and she was beaming more than usual. Tonight she would be going home with Ruby to attend her very first ever sleepover, and she was looking forward to it.

James would be there too. Yang was also having a friend sleep over, and Qrow had muttered something about ‘too many teenagers’ when they’d been discussing it the day before. Ruby had piped up that maybe Qrow would also like some company of his own to sleep over, and then Penny had expressed hesitance at going to an effective stranger’s house all alone, and somehow or other this had led to James getting invited. It wasn’t his ideal, but he would do it for Penny.

Penny held his hand on the walk to the shop, his right clutched in her left. So she was feeling unsure today- well, he could understand that.

“Are you looking forward to your first sleepover?” he asked, hoping to edge away her unsureness.

She nodded enthusiastically. “Yes! I bought a book about sleepovers yesterday, and read the whole thing! I know all about what to do while I’m there!” She reached around and dug the book out of her bag to show it to him.

He chuckled. “I’m sure the other girls wouldn’t leave you wondering,” he said. “They know it’s your first sleepover, and they’re very nice girls- they won’t make fun if you don’t know what’s going on.”

“I know.” Penny hugged her book close. “But I still want to understand. Other girls have sleepovers, and know how to have sleepovers, and I want to be like other girls.”

“You are like other girls.”

“Not much.”

“Hold on-” He pulled her back from the foot traffic and took her hands, folding them between both of his own. “You _are_ , though- you are where it counts. You just haven’t had a chance to have the experiences that other girls do.”

“But I want to have them,” she said. “And Ruby is nice, and she and Yang will have them with me! And Ruby said she will introduce me to her other friends, too. I will have _lots_  of friends!”

“Right,” he said, letting go of her hands so he could chuff gently at her chin. “That’s my girl- and then you’ll have lots of chances to have all those experiences that other girls have.”

“Yes!” She beamed. “Like shopping, or boys!”

“Well- maybe not that one.”

“Girls, then.”

James hesitated. Well, given his track record. “…yeah, probably.”

o/o

Qrow was watching him. James had noticed him doing that over the past few days, noticed him studying him when he had a spare minute and thought James wasn’t looking. He wondered at the reason for Qrow’s scrutiny, but he’d set that aside for now. Maybe Qrow was just trying to learn more about his new business partner.

“You sure you don’t mind playing chaperon tonight?” Qrow asked, when James wandered back into the kitchen. He’d found that he enjoyed watching Qrow bake- he was a different man when he was putting a cake together- and with business still impossibly slow, he had plenty of time.

“It’s fine,” James assured him. “I get the feeling Penny wants me there anyway- she’s a little unsure of herself, I think a familiar presence will help her.”

“Suit yourself,” Qrow said. “It’ll be nice to have some adult company anyway.” He leaned back and stretched. “And the day off tomorrow to recover. Which, trust me, you’ll need.”

“You’re not working tomorrow?”

“No, and neither are you- well, not here, anyway. I don’t care what you do on your own time. No, I decided to close up shop on Sundays, at least until we get a staff that we can shuffle around more. None of us has had a day off since we opened- we’re all getting tired.”

James blinked in surprise. Had it really been a week? But, yes- tomorrow was Sunday, and he had started last Sunday.

“We should celebrate,” James said. “Tomorrow will be the one week anniversary of our partnership.”

“One week anniversary?” Qrow scoffed. “God, you’re gonna make some woman really happy one day.”

James frowned. “I don’t understand.”

“Eh, never mind, it was sexist anyway. Speaking of, though, there’s something I need to understand. You’re, what, forty, right?”

“Forty-two.”

“Right. Now, I know the answer about myself, but you seem a bit… different, than me. So I gotta know- how in the world are you still single? I’d think- you know, big handsome guy like you, polite and a little stuffy, you’d have found a nice girl to settle down with ages ago.”

James pursed his lips while he considered Qrow’s question, and how best to answer. When he did speak, it was slowly, as if testing out his answer as he said it.

“Let’s just say… that wherever I go, I seem to find myself surrounded by incredibly beautiful lesbians.”

On the other side of the kitchen window, Winter, who had been working the register, snorted. “Wish I had that problem,” she muttered. Behind them, at the sink, Yang added, “Same, bro.”

The conversation paused. James gestured between them and gave Qrow a look as if to say ‘see?’

“There you are,” he said. “I don’t think I’ve known a straight woman in my life.”

“Wanna trade?” Winter called back. “Because I know too many.”

Qrow, who had been squinting thoughtfully at James, suddenly laughed.

“Not bad, Princess,” he said. “Keep that up and I might let you back in my kitchen.”

“Really?”

“Ha! No.”

o/o

Ruby had plans for the morning, so she wouldn’t be around until noon. At one point Yang decided to take Penny into the kitchen and show her how to make cupcakes. When they were done she was a mess of flour, but she was grinning and the cupcakes didn’t turn out _too_  odd when they took them out of the oven. James joined them in the kitchen to ice the cupcakes, laughing along with both of them while he did.

In the front Qrow sat at his cake table, reorganizing his cake book in the downtime. Every time James laughed, he looked up and glanced at them through the window before frowning and going back to his cake sheets.

After awhile, the smell of chocolate and cupcake frosting wafted around him, and he looked up to find Winter in front of him, a plate with two cupcakes on it held out in one hand, a third, half-eaten cupcake in the other.

“Compliments of Miss Polendina,” she said. 

He took the plate, but instead of returning to the register she stayed where she was, back straight. It was pretty obvious she had something she wanted to say, so he gestured for her to sit down. He supposed he was going to have to have it out with her at some point.

“What do you want, kid?” he asked, squinting at one of the cupcakes before shoving the entire thing into his mouth. She looked slightly horrified, but he just shrugged and licked the icing from his lips without a care.

“I wanted to know what I had done to offend you so badly,” she said, after a moment. “So that I could try to make it right.”

He just raised an eyebrow at her. She raised one in return, back still straight and hands folded politely in her lap, staring at him while he slowly chewed up the cupcake he’d stuffed into his mouth.

“You’re a lot like Jimmy, you know that?” he said, when he’d finally swallowed and was able to speak.

“I do not consider that an insult,” she replied, a touch of frost in her voice.

He snorted. “Of course you wouldn’t, but it wasn’t meant to be. I just mean you both got this big need to be in control going on. And I can put up with it from Jimmy cause we’re partners and we’re supposed to be learning how to balance each other but you…”

“I’m an employee,” she finished for him. “I’m beneath you.”

“Your words, Princess.” He considered the other cupcake, but settled for just nibbling the edge of this one. “I don’t think you’re beneath me. I _do_  think I outrank you, and I don’t like that one of my _employees_  looks at me like she would something scraped off the bottom of her shoe.”

“I haven’t-” She broke off. Not entirely true. He sneered.

“Not to my face you haven’t. I see more than you think I do, you know.”

“You antagonize me,” she said, bristling a little defensively. She let out a sharp breath through her nose. “Deliberately. I am not used to be treated in such a way.”

“Well _get_ used to it,” he said. “Cause this is the real world, Princess, and you’re on your own dime now. Can’t just throw money at all your problems anymore. Gotta figure out how to deal with them _yourself_.”

Her breathing was measured now, controlled. He wondered what it would take to truly ruffle her feathers. “I still don’t understand what I’ve done to _you_ ,” she said. “And until I understand _that_ , I cannot begin to deal with this problem _myself_.”

He stood up, leaned over her a little. “That’s step one, sugar,” he said. “Figure it out.”

Then he stuffed the second cupcake in his mouth and spun on his heel, slouching out of the shop with a wave.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so excited to write cliche sleepover shenanigans.


	13. Chapter 13

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bonding.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm posting so much that I'm running out of clever author's notes but my story feels naked without them there

After Ruby arrived, Qrow gave Yang the rest of the day off and the girls went for lunch. With Winter off to see to her sister, it was just Qrow and James again. James settled behind the register while Qrow disappeared into the kitchen, their usual routine for the shifts that were just them.

Eventually, though, Qrow wandered back into the front, settling in the chair behind the counter so he and James could chat while he worked on designs for their t-shirt. There just wasn’t anything to keep them occupied in the shop right now.

“So where’d you work before this?” Qrow asked, trying to make conversation.

“In a robotics lab,” James answered. “With Penny’s father, in fact.”

Qrow raised an eyebrow. “How do you go from robots to cupcakes?”

The question was not meant to stir him, just Qrow’s casual callousness, but James found himself clenching his right hand anyway, without a thought. He opened it slowly.

“We lost our funding,” he said. “And I lost my job. And since I had a business degree I’d never done anything with, Ozpin suggested this as a possible alternative. It was this or…” Sitting at home feeling sorry for himself. “…nothing.”

“Henh. That’s rough, buddy.”

James raised an eyebrow at him. “That’s one way of putting it.”

“No- I mean-” Qrow shook his head. “I don’t mean to downplay it or anything. Fuck, I don’t know what I mean. I’m sorry, I’m just trying to get to know you. I don’t know anything about you and Oz is a closed book. ‘You have to learn things on your own, Qrow’,” he said, in a mocking tone similar to Ozpin’s cryptic voice.

“He said the same thing to me,” James said, laughing. His laugh faltered when he saw the shift in Qrow’s face. “What?”

“…nothing.” Qrow shook his head, half-turned away and hunched over the paper he was sketching on. “Just surprised to hear you laughing, that’s all. Had you pegged for too stuffy to do that.”

“I like reservation, but that doesn’t mean I’m not able to relax,” James said. Qrow’s sudden shift in behavior confused him. He hesitated. “…Is there anything else you want to know?”

“Yeah. Why do you wear that glove all the time?” He jabbed his pencil in the direction of James’ right hand, which had a soft white glove over it.

James looked down at his hand, at the glove that covered his cybernetics, and shook his head. “I don’t like people seeing my hand,” he said. “There was an accident at the lab- why we lost funding- the results aren’t…”

He trailed off, but Qrow nodded. “Makes sense. It’s not the sort of thing that’s gonna get us shut down by the health inspector, is it? Like… some kind of oozing rash?”

James blinked, startled, then laughed. “No. It’s not an oozing rash. And no, I don’t think the health inspector will object to it, especially as I do very little handling of the food.”

“All right then. I’ll stop asking you questions now,” he added.

“Curiosity sated?”

“Not even a little, but I think it’s best if I don’t pry too much.”

It was thoughtful, surprisingly so considering what he knew of Qrow thus far. James would have expected him to needle and dig and badger and make a general nuisance of himself until he got the answers he wanted- but instead he’d backed off when it was clear James wasn’t comfortable. It was surprising, yes- and touching.

o/o

Ruby and Yang took Penny down the street to a seafood restaurant the girls particularly enjoyed. A girl with black hair and a black bow stood behind the counter, and gave them all a warm smile when she saw them come in.

“Hey guys,” she said. Ruby threw her arms in the air in excitement.

“Blake!” she cheered. “You got the job!”

“Yep!” The girl- Blake- smiled. “Is this Penny?”

They all turned to Penny, to let her answer for herself, and Penny nodded, a little shy. “Yes. Hello! My name is Penny. It’s nice to meet you!”

“It’s nice to meet you too, Penny. Ruby hasn’t stopped talking about you all week.”

“She really hasn’t,” Yang said, leaning on Ruby and noogying her gently. “She’s told all of our friends about you.”

“Oh!” Penny looked pleased. “That is… very kind.”

“It’s not kindness,” Ruby said. “I just want everyone else to know how cool you are!”

Penny beamed at this, and the girls put in their orders before taking their seats.

“Blake is my friend coming over tonight,” Yang said. Ruby giggled and whispered ‘ _friend’_ into her cup, getting her a stronger noogie from Yang and a confused look from Penny.

“Are you… not friends?”

“No, they’re friends,” Ruby said. “Yang just wishes they weren’t.”

“But she seemed so nice.”

“That’s why Yang wishes she weren’t,” Ruby said, giggling when Yang caught her in a headlock. At the confused look on Penny’s face, Ruby appeared to mentally backtrack, and added, “I mean, Yang wishes they were more than friends. Like, girlfriends. The romantic kind.”

“Oh!” Understanding dawned. “You mean, she wants to canoodle under a bridge.”

“What?”

“That is what Uncle calls it.”

“Yeah, that sounds about right,” Ruby said, applying that to what she knew of James so far. “Yang wants to canoodle under a bridge with Bla-ack! HI BLAKE!”

Yang had her in an even tighter headlock, but let her go when Blake came over with their food. Blake didn’t even look fazed by their behavior- just told them to keep it down before they got thrown out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Blake!
> 
> There's not much point to the second half of this chapter I just wanted to write Ruby and Yang being sisters.


	14. Chapter 14

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The sleepover.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I had a lot I wanted to do with the sleepover, but very little of it fit with the narrative so I didn't do as much as I wanted. I still think it turned out okay.

Qrow decided to close up shop a little early that night, he and James breezing through their paperwork while the girls- as well as Blake, who’d come by after work- sat in the front room waiting. They didn’t bother chatting tonight, as they usually did, not willing to leave the girls hanging for too long, and soon they were on their way.

James and Qrow hung back from the girls, Qrow folding his hands behind his head and watching the sky as he walked. James half expected him to run into something, but he seemed very surefooted, and never even stumbled.

James had never been to Qrow’s apartment before, and he wasn’t sure what to expect, but it was nothing particularly fancy. An open kitchen, dining room, and living room in the front, with three doors at the far wall, presumably leading to the bedrooms and the bathroom. There was clutter and mess- as expected, from somewhere Qrow lived, and Ruby inhabited- but it wasn’t as excessive as James would have assumed, and it gave the place more of a lived-in feel than a messy one.

Blake was clearly not new to the place, as she followed Yang back to one of the bedrooms without needing coaxing, but Ruby took Penny’s hand with a smile. “Come on, Penny,” she said. “You can leave your stuff in our room, and then, it’s movie time!”

“Oh boy! Can we watch a horror movie?”

“Absolutely not,” James said. He was ignored, and then immediately distracted by a touch to his arm.

“Gonna have to cut that umbilical cord sometime, Jimmy,” Qrow said. “Here, come help me get some salsa mixed up, the girls’ll want something to eat  besides popcorn.”

James nodded and followed him into the kitchen, watching while Qrow began pulling plasticware containers of food out of the fridge. Qrow gestured to the stove.

“Grab a frying pan and get that going, would you? Pour in some oil, just enough to pool in the bottom of the pan.”

James did as he was told, getting an approving nod from Qrow over the amount of oil before he put the pan over heat. It was clear that Qrow’s prowess in the kitchen didn’t stop at just baked goods.

“I know how I come off,” James said, moving over once the pan began to heat up. Qrow handed him a few peppers and a knife, and told him to start slicing them while he cooked the chicken. “And I _am_  aware of how much I fuss.”

“You do go a bit overboard,” Qrow said. “I’ve been watching you. You mean well, don’t get me wrong, but… well, she’s gonna have to spread her wings sometime.”

“I know.” It seemed absurd, Qrow giving him such advice, but then, he wasn’t telling him anything he didn’t already know. “It’s hard,” he said. “After the accident-” He set the knife down and touched his living hand to his forehead, taking a deep breath. The image was there, permanently burned onto his eyelids: Penny, staring at him in shock while the life faded from her eyes. He shook his head, squeezed his eyes shut until lights danced behind them, blinding him to the image. “…I still have dreams about losing her. Suddenly everything is something that could take her away from me.”

“I get that,” Qrow said, pouring some kind of clear sauce over the shredded chicken he was stir-frying. “Hell, I have those kinds of dreams about the girls and I’ve never been through anything like that with them. It’s part of being a parent.”

“You’re not their parent,” James said, then winced and clamped his mouth shut. He wished he could take his words back, but Qrow was already giving him a surly glare. Qrow huffed and turned back to the stove.

“I might as well be,” he said irritably. “Summer’s dead, Raven’s run off to gods-know-where, and Tai spends more time out of the country than in it. The girls live with me as much as they live at home. I’m the one that goes to their pta meetings, I’m the one that deals with their school drama, I’m the one that schedules all their doctor’s visits and make sure they get routine physicals…”

“That… definitely counts for something,” James said lamely. He pursed his lips, running the names through his mind. “Raven is.. your sister?”

“Got it that time,” Qrow said. “How’d you ever guess? If you keep that up, you’ll be giving Ozpin a run for his money.”

James chuckled. Set the sliced peppers aside and started on the tomatoes Qrow was handing him. “It was a shot in the dark, I assure you,” he said.

“Heh. Anyway… parent, godparent, uncle, guardian.. it’s all the same, in the end. You do the best you can but at the end of the day, you let them watch horror movies and if they have nightmares, you hope you’re scary enough to frighten whatever is hiding under their bed.”

He turned around and looked James over, eyes raking the length of him. The back of James’ neck burned at the scrutiny, at the way Qrow was clearly enjoying the sight.

“I think you could probably manage scary pretty well,” Qrow finally said, turning back to the stove. He was dumping cheese cubes into the chicken now, stirring chicken and cheese slowly to ensure the cheese melted evenly. “Considering you’re a damn tree and all.”

James had been called a tree before, so it was hardly new to hear Qrow say it, but the way Qrow said it was far different than the way Snow always said it, and Ruby’s words about how Qrow’d said he wanted to “climb him like the tree he practically is” echoed through James’ mind. His blush spread from his neck up to his ears as he finally put Ruby’s words into context and realized what she’d been saying- that Qrow found him attractive, that Qrow was _attracted_  to him.

It wasn’t the first time James had had men attracted to him, of course. But somehow the knowledge that _Qrow_ was attracted to him seemed like it would be harder to ignore- no doubt due to their partnership, he told himself. It was an unknown variable, and could poison their working relationship in unknown ways if they didn’t tread carefully.

“Okay up there, Jimbalaya?” Qrow said. “You’ve gone quiet on me.”

“…Sorry,” James said, pulling himself back to reality. “Just trying to think of a comeback.”

“Let me know what you come up with,” Qrow teased. “So, horror movie, yes, no? It’s traditional, you know. Seems a shame to deprive them.”

“No, I mean, yes. I won’t deprive her- you’re right, it’s traditional.” _The sort of thing girls do_. “I’ll just have to grit my teeth and go for it.”

o/o

Though Penny was clearly enjoying the movie, by the end of it she was curled against James’ right side, his arm wrapped around her and his hand clutched tightly in both of her own, squeezing it every time something scary happens on screen. Somehow he ended up with Ruby leaned on his other side, and found that Yang wound up on the floor in front of his legs, leaning back against them with her head resting against his knees.

Qrow clearly found this amusing, if the cheeky grin he gave James at one point was any indication. James just shrugged helplessly, staying as still as he could so as not to disturb them.

After the horror movie, they swapped to Megabloks Film, a cheerful animated movie about Megabloks characters. Penny cheered up from this, so by the time it was over she was back to her usual, happy self. James breathed a sigh of relief, glad that the movie hadn’t seemed to scare her too badly.

Once they finished the second movie, the girls spread out in the open area behind the couch to play board games, the two men settling down on the couch so as not to bother them. James had a book on his phone that he’d been reading, and Qrow was apparently playing some kind of game, with quiet, casual conversation drifting between them during off-moments.

At one point, James turned to check on the girls and saw Penny with her book on sleepovers, flipping through and asking the girls questions about it. He smiled and turned back to his phone. Good, it looked like Penny was having fun.

Late at night- or very, very early in the morning, depending on the perspective- Qrow stood up, stretching out kinks from sitting down too long, and shooed the girls into the back bedroom for bed.

“I’m not stupid enough to think you’ll sleep, but try to at least keep the noise to a minimum,” he said, then turned to James. “I’ll go get you some blankets, hang on. You’re okay with the couch, right?”

James nodded and stretched out, but winced when he realized that he would have to scrunch up in order to fit. Qrow noticed this and laughed nervously, rubbing the back of his neck with one hand.

“Heh. Sorry, my couch wasn’t made for people with tree-like proportions,” he said. “Come on, you can have my bed for the night.”

“I’m not going to kick you out of your bed,” James said, standing. “I can spend one night on a small sofa, it’ll be fine.”

“Nah, sorry, you’re company. I can take the couch- I actually fit on it. Sorta.”

“Qrow…” James said, but Qrow just mimicked him with a, “ _Jimmy_ ,” in return.

“Why don’t you just share Uncle Qrow’s bed?” Ruby said, overhearing them as she passed through to the kitchen. “It’s plenty big enough.”

“I don’t know if that’s such a good idea,” Qrow began, but James had already turned to him with a shrug.

“I don’t mind,” he said. “If it’s big enough.”

“Takes up most of the room,” Ruby said, passing back through to the girls’ room with a glass of milk.

Qrow turned back to James, and shrugged. “All right,” he said. “If you’re sure.”

o/o

Ruby hadn’t been exaggerating the size of Qrow’s bed, which did indeed take up much of the room. It was plenty big enough to share, so James grabbed his overnight bag and disappeared into the tiny en-suite to change into his pajamas. Qrow raised an eyebrow at him, his shirt off and held in front of him.

“You don’t have to change in the bathroom, Jimmy,” he said. “It’s not like you have anything I haven’t seen before.”

 _You’d be surprised_ , James thought, snapping the door closed pointedly behind him before stripping down. The bare bulb of the small bathroom glinted harshly off the metal of his right half; he took a cloth from his bag and damped it, using that to wipe down the plates carefully, avoiding glancing at the mirror over the sink as he did. A little over a year, and he still hadn’t got used to seeing himself like this.

 _It could have been worse, though_ , he reminded himself. _Penny could have easily been standing where you were_.

He shuddered at that thought, and went back to his usual nightly maintenance. He only went through the abbreviated version, not wanting to spend longer in the bathroom than necessary, and when that was done he pulled on pajamas- long pants, long sleeves. Socks. His habitual white glove. Not his preferred sleepwear, but it was preferable to Qrow asking any questions he didn’t feel like answering.

When he came out of the bathroom, Qrow looked his sleepwear over and snorted. “I should have known you’d be exactly as stuffy at night as during the daytime,” he said. “Is that really how you normally sleep?”

“Normally I sleep naked,” James said, wrapping a blanket around himself before climbing under the covers on the right side of the bed. “Goodnight, Qrow.”

There was a long silence, then Qrow reached over and smacked the light switch a little harder than necessary, crawling into bed with a grumble. Bad enough he had a sexy man in his bed that he wasn’t allowed to fuck, but said man had just _had_  to put the image of himself naked in Qrow’s head before going to bed.

And dear lord what a beautiful mental image that was. Those pajamas, covering though they were, left very little to the imagination where James’ body was concerned. He was _fit_. More fit, even, than Qrow had previously imagined. Qrow would be surprised if there was an ounce of fat anywhere on his body, in fact. And those abs? _Steel_ , he thought. They looked pretty solid where his shirt hugged them, anyway.

In the dark, Qrow lay on his back and pressed his hands to his eyes, suppressing a groan. It was going to be a _very_  long night.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh Qrow. If James wasn't so oblivious I'd say he was doing this on purpose.


	15. Chapter 15

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cliche bed-sharing scenario.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I swear the next chapter we'll get back to the com part of this rom com but I needed to slap these dumb boys with some gay feelings first.

When James first crossed the threshold between sleeping and wakefulness the next morning, he very groggily noticed a feeling of contentment and- and _right_ that he was altogether unfamiliar with. He liked this feeling, so he settled deeper into the blanket he was wrapped in and drifted back down until he was just enough on the waking side of sleep to enjoy the good, unfamiliar feeling.

However, his mind, always so neat and tidy and organized, was trying to make him aware of several facts, facts that it seemed to find far more important than he did.

Fact number one: there was a body pressed against his back, one long and warm and seemingly _made_ to fit against him.  
Fact number two: there was an arm slung over his waist, a hand splayed across his belly. Like the body it was most likely attached to, the hand was warm and comfortable against him.  
Fact number three: there was _something_ hard _-_ and his mind was very insistent on not putting a name to that something- nudging against ass.  
Fact number four: all of these things were upsetting, but his mind couldn’t for the life of it figure out why, only insisting that it should not be allowed.

While James’ mind tried to get his attention with these facts, Qrow snuffled irritably and wriggled, trying to get comfortable in a new position. He muttered something about tortillas and the arm around James’s waist tightened before he stilled, drifting back into deeper sleep.

His mind was blaring alarm klaxons at him now, trying to set off a fight or flight response in his body, which had till this point been ignoring his mind altogether and insisting that this was perfectly all right, shut up, let me enjoy this, nobody asked you. But James had always prided himself on his strength of will (“On being the most stubborn, bull-headed man around, you mean,” Glynda had said once) and his mind finally managed to take control of his body. He pushed Qrow off of him and almost fell out of the bed in his haste to stumble toward the bathroom, croaking an excuse he didn’t even hear to Qrow, who woke up at being pushed and mumbled a sleepy inquiry.

In the bathroom, James locked the door and leaned back against it, taking long, deep breaths as he tried to reorient himself. What was wrong with him? Why was he panicking so much? Because Qrow had spooned him in his sleep? So what, it hadn’t hurt anything. So Qrow was a tactile sleeper, it wasn’t a surprise. 

Because Qrow had been- very clearly- aroused in his proximity? Again, so what? It was a regular sleep response, in the night the bladder filled up and pressed against the prostate, creating arousal. It wasn’t a big _deal_ , it was just a normal biological response. James did it too- or at least he had when his body was still able to. It _wasn’t_ a big deal- or at least, it _shouldn’t_ be.

There was a knock at the door behind him, gentle and apologetic. Qrow’s voice shook him from his thoughts.

“Jim? You okay in there?”

“I’m fine,” James forced himself to say. It was the best he could do- the truth wouldn’t work, even if he did know what it was. He heard Qrow moving, shifting to lean against the door.

“Look, I’m sorry about that,” Qrow said. “Usually when I have someone in my bed it’s for other reasons and I guess in my sleep I just acted out of habit.”

“It’s fine,” James repeated. “I’m not angry at you.” That, at least, he knew was true. Qrow had done nothing to earn his anger.

“If you’re sure…” Qrow said, not sounding convinced. “I’ll be in the living room if you need me. There’s towels in the cupboard over the toilet if you wanna take a shower.”

There was the sound of him leaving, and James waited until he heard the bedroom door click shut before sinking down to the floor and folding his hands over his head, staring down between his knees at the ugly grey-brown tile while a lot of questions and zero answers chased themselves around in his head.

o/o

“You’re an idiot,” Qrow told himself, grabbing a blanket off the bed and shuffling into the living room. It was only when he’d wrapped himself into a cocoon at the end of the couch and was staring blankly at the weather report on the tv that he realized the blanket he’d grabbed was the one James had slept wrapped up in. It smelled like him now, a baffling mix of sweat and metal and oil and baked goods that left Qrow wondering what kind of cologne he wore and why. Well, not the baked goods. That was Qrow’s fault, and a part of him that wasn’t confused in the least was very pleased with himself that he’d wrapped James up in his own scent somewhere along the way.

Qrow hunched down further in the blanket without even realizing, wrapping himself up in James’ scent and James’ warmth, and carefully didn’t let himself think about why.

He was still processing the what; the why would have to wait.

o/o

By the time James finally left the bathroom, he’d done his usual morning maintenance and changed into his clothes, buttoning his collar up all the way to avoid letting any silver show through. He’d have to head home soon, he thought. He was feeling too disoriented and confused, and needed to get his head ordered. Besides, he was supposed to be visiting Glynda that evening and he’d need to get himself under control. Though he prided himself on being unreadable to most people, to Glynda he was, and always had been, an open book. If he was out of sorts when he saw her, she’d know in an instant.

“Do I have any hot water left?” Qrow asked, when James finally came into the living room and sat down on the other end of the couch. He’d run the shower while he was in the bathroom, the steam feeling good on his living side even if he couldn’t get under the spray itself. His cybernetics were waterproof, of course- they just took a long time to dry off and he didn’t feel like dripping water all morning. Qrow’s eyes flickered up to James’ hair, combed back into place from the night. He opened his mouth to say something, then seemed to think better of it and hunched deeper into the cocoon he’d wrapped himself up in.

Guilt twisted around itself in James’ gut. “I’m sorry,” he said, though he wasn’t sure what he was apologizing for.

“Not your fault,” Qrow grumbled. “I was the one that crossed a line.”

“You didn’t.” James’ eyes fluttered closed, mind drifting back to that feeling when he’d woken up. It had been nice to feel human contact again- to be so at ease with another person. He wished he hadn’t run- who knew how long he could have stayed there like that till Qrow woke up? He opened his eyes again. “I woke up in an unfamiliar place, in an unfamiliar bed, with an unfamiliar person wrapped around me. I was disoriented and confused and I panicked- but I didn’t _mean_ anything by it- and I’m _not_ angry at you.”

Qrow was silent for a long time. He turned to stare at the bedroom door, and James saw his shoulders shifting as he took a long breath.

“You idiot,” Qrow said, turning back. “I know you’re not angry- I get the feeling if you _were_ angry at me, I’d know.”

“Then why are you apologizing?”

“Hey, just cause you’re not angry, doesn’t mean I didn’t cross a line. I’m attracted to you, Jimmy,” he said. “I know you’ve probably figured that out by now. I should have been trying harder to make sure I didn’t act on that. So I _am_ sorry, whether you’re angry or not. And you have my word it won’t happen again.”

“You’re attracted to me?” Yes, he’d guessed- hearing it out loud was another story. Qrow just rolled his eyes.

“When was the last time you looked in a mirror?”

“On purpose?”

The words slipped out without his say-so. Qrow stared at him. “You’re joking. …you’re not joking.”

“I’m not used to people being attracted to me.”

“Well, that’s because you surround yourself with lesbians,” Qrow teased. “Not good for the ego, that.”

“True.” James smiled, relieved that Qrow was teasing him again. “Maybe I should surround myself with gay men instead.”

“Hey, I’m pan, okay,” Qrow said. James raised an eyebrow, and Qrow shrugged. “We get overlooked a lot,” he added. “Just making it clear.”

James nodded his assent, then glanced around as the other bedroom door opened, and Yang came out, hair in a wild mess while she shuffled sleepily into the bathroom. The sound of the shower turning on filtered out, and they turned back to one another. Qrow ran a hand through his hair, still tousled from sleep. James fought the urge to reach over and straighten it- he doubted Qrow would appreciate it.

“Look,” Qrow said. “I’m trying really hard not to be attracted to you, okay? And I’m not gonna let it make things weird down at the shop. It’ll just take a little time, that’s all- you’re big and handsome and you hit all of my buttons and I need to learn to look past that. Okay?”

“Yeah.” James nodded. Smiled. “Okay.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Introducing Gay Panic and Romo Panic, one night only at the Metrodome.
> 
> Look I know smell doesn't really work like that but hear me out


	16. Chapter 16

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Good morning.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I just... really love writing Ruby okay. Especially when she's in stress-free environments because she is the physical embodiment of EVERYTHING IS AWESOME and I just. Love her. A lot.

The pair slipped back into their easy banter soon, and by the time the rest of the girls woke up their morning’s discomfort was- well, not _forgotten_ , because James still felt disoriented and confused, and Qrow was still cocooned in his blanket, putting a clear barrier between them, but at very least set aside in favor of their usual interaction.

James glanced up at the door as Blake came out, yawning and fumbling her way to the bathroom. He furrowed his brow at her, and she must have sensed his scrutiny because she turned to him and raised an eyebrow.

“What?”

“…did you wear your bow to bed?” he asked.

“Yeah.” She turned and went into the bathroom without another word, while James’ brow furrowed even more. Qrow laughed.

“Don’t bother,” he said. “I’ve been trying to figure that one out since Yang brought her home.”

o/o

Once everyone was up, Qrow proposed they just order breakfast in rather than have him cook, then tossed the phone over to James to order. James wasn’t surprised; they’d ordered take-out lunch at the shop a few times over the past week, and Qrow always made him do it. He had just shrugged and said he hated talking on the phone if he could avoid it.

James flipped through the numbers and selected a place he knew would deliver quickly, since Ruby was now draped over the back of the couch beside him complaining of hunger. Penny was on her other side, watching her curiously.

“So hungry,” Ruby mumbled, but when James mentioned the name of the place he was calling she perked up immediately. “Ooh ooh!” She twisted around so she was sitting upside down beside him. “Tell them to send the cute delivery boy!”

“What? I’m sorry, hold on.” James covered the mouthpiece on the phone and looked down at Ruby. “What was that?”

“The cute one! Tell them to send the cute one!”

“Oh yes!” Penny caught Ruby’s flailing hand before it could smack her, and added her own grin. “Please! I want to see the cute boy!”

Oh lord. James sighed, and uncovered the phone. “…I have been ordered to ask for the… cute delivery boy.” A pause. “No, not for me!” He pinched the bridge of his nose. “…Look, I have two teenage girls begging me to have you send our food with the ‘cute’ delivery boy.” Another pause. He covered the phone again and turned to Ruby. “She wants to know which one is the cute one.”

“Uh, _duuuuuh_ , the cute blond one!”

“Right. …the cute blond one. Yes. Okay, thank you. I’m sorry about this. Thank you.” He hung up and tossed the phone back to Qrow. “Food’ll be here soon. Think you can wait that long?”

“Yes!” Ruby rolled backwards off the couch and then bounced back up, sitting down properly. She grabbed the remote from where Qrow had left it and flipped through the channels lightning-quick until she’d landed on a cartoon- he vaguely recognized it as Stephanie Galactic, which he knew Penny also enjoyed- and the two girls settled down to watch while they waited.

o/o

By the time the delivery arrived, Penny was curled into James’ side again- thankfully not with fear, as last night, but merely for comfort. Ruby was sprawled out across both their laps, and there was no way she was comfortable but this didn’t phase her a bit- and if she noticed that one of his legs was really much harder than it ought to be, she said nothing.

When she heard the knock on the door, Ruby bounced up, and launched herself at the boy standing in the doorway, hugging his arm and beaming.

“Sun!”

“Hey, Ruby,” the boy- Sun- said, grinning and ruffling her hair. “Didn’t know I was coming to your place.”

“Yep!”

Qrow was counting out the money for the food he’d managed to grab before Ruby had pounced- he was clearly used to dealing with Ruby, and had thought quickly enough to save their breakfast. He gave Sun a smile.

“Friend of yours, Ruby?”

“Yes! Sun is my boyfriend!”

Qrow dropped his wallet, and his jaw. “…you wanna run that by me again?”

“He’s my boyfriend!”

“Since when?”

“Since… Friday. Friday?” She glanced at Sun; he nodded. “Friday!”

“…I’m sorry, I’m just having trouble processing.”

“All my friends have significant others,” Ruby said. “I wanted one too! So I asked around and Sun said he’d be my boyfriend, and he’d do boyfriend stuff with me.”

Qrow had been confused, but now his face hardened and he turned a stony look to Sun.

“Oh? Define _boyfriend stuff_.”

Sun shrugged. “You know, holding hands, carrying her books, letting her wear my letter jacket. The fair’s in town this weekend, I thought that might be kinda fun.”

“Boyfriend stuff,” Ruby chirped. Qrow grinned.

“Right. Boyfriend stuff. Got it.” He laughed and finished counting out the money, then handed it over. “Here you go, kid. We’ll have you over for dinner sometime, so I can judge you.”

“Cool,” Sun said. “I’m looking forward to it.”

He ruffled Ruby’s hair again, waved at the other girls, and turned to leave. Ruby went back over to sit with Penny.

“Told you he was cute,” she said, a little smug. Penny nodded in agreement.

“His shirt was unbuttoned,” she said. Ruby nodded enthusiastically.

“Yeah I know!” she said, before the two dissolved into giggles.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So the other day I saw a post on my dash that was Sun/Ruby and I'm stupid and didn't realize that the ship was Jones-Squared I was just like "shit that's cute" and decided to throw it into All in the Batter for funsies. My Ruby is aro/ace though so I had to work around that, but I think this is cuter than playing a regular relationship anyway.


	17. Chapter 17

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Besotted fool.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Snow is great and I love her I hope you guys love her too.

James left after breakfast, he and Penny holding their hands loosely on the just-this-side-of-too-long walk back to Penny’s home- this time her right in his left. She was in bright spirits, chattering happily about her first sleepover. At times, she would drop his hand and dart ahead of him, in such high spirits that he was able to temporarily set his confusing feelings about that morning aside to enjoy being with her.

At a crosswalk, Penny took James’ hand back, swinging their arms lightly between them. “I think I am going to tell Ruby about Dickie,” Penny said, staring very carefully ahead of her. He looked down at her, watching her closely.

“Are you sure?” he asked. “You don’t have to- she’s not entitled to that information.”

“I know,” Penny said. She stared down at her free hand, rather than up at him. “But I want to. Ruby is my best friend. She- she will understand.” She clenched her hand in front of her. “I am.. very sure she will understand.”

“If you’re sure, then,” James said very quietly, shifting to put his arm around her shoulder instead.

o/o

After he got home, James stripped down to skin-and-metal and collapsed onto his bed with a grunt. He needed to relax for a bit, unwind on his own, just for a little while, before he went to see Glynda. He fell asleep fairly quickly, but even in sleep he could find no respite: he dreamed of Qrow, dreams he couldn’t remember later but that left him aching with an odd sort of emptiness when he woke.

He groaned and dug the heels of his hands into his eyes until spots danced across his vision. So much for that plan. Now he was confused, disoriented, _and_ he had weird, fuzzy dreams to wonder about.

o/o

It was Snow who answered the door when James arrived to see Glynda; she led him into the den and they spent a moment in awkward silence while they waited for Glynda to come down. Once Glynda arrived, Snow was on her feet; she leaned down to press a kiss to Glynda's head when she sat down and then offered to fetch them both coffee if they wanted. James just murmured an agreement and waited for her to go: he'd never quite got used to Snow, which he suspected was because he'd spent years pursuing Glynda while they were- as it turned out- dating.

Things were always just a touch too awkward with Snow. He got the feeling she enjoyed that.

“You're out of sorts,” Glynda said, as soon as they were alone. “What's wrong, James?”

“It's nothing.” He touched his forehead lightly. “...I'm just tired,” he added, fumbling slightly for something to satisfy the disbelief in her face. “We had the sleepover last night- I was late getting to bed- and Qrow's bed was unfamiliar and hard to get comfortable in...”

He trailed off because Snow had come in with the coffee. She and Glynda exchanged a look that meant nothing to him.

“You bunked down with Qrow?” Snow asked. James nodded.

“The couch was too short-” A smile tugged at his lips, unbidden. “He said I was too much of a tree and his bed was plenty big enough.”

Another look. Snow grinned. “I'm so happy for you,” she said, while Glynda buried her face in one hand. “Male friendship is very important, especially in a world that spends all its time convincing you that you are not allowed to show affection to one another, and mocks you for any kind of displays. Why, anyone who heard of you two sharing sleeping space would assume the worst, and give you no credit for-”

“Snow,” Glynda said. Snow broke off. “Snow, please. I love you. I can't sit through this speech _again_.”

“As you wish.” Snow winked at James, and sauntered out. Just before leaving, she added, “You know, you never smile when _I_ call you a tree.”

And then she was gone, and James was resting his head in one hand while Glynda leaned over to touch his arm gently. “James, what's _really_ wrong?”

He never could lie to her- apart from being such an open book to her, she just exuded caring, and he knew that he could trust her with his confusing thoughts and feelings, that she wouldn't judge him. He took a deep breath and started talking, telling her everything while she listened, patient and kind. He had no idea what she was thinking- he couldn't read her as well as she could read him.

“I tried to take a nap when I got home,” James finally said, coming to the end. “I just ended up dreaming about him, I think. I'm just- very confused. Why is this happening?”

She was silent for a long time, hand still on his arm, warm and reassuring, anchoring him in place. God, he was lucky to have her as a friend- no one else in the world would have been half so patient with his idiocy over the years, would have sent him away rather than deal with his constant pursuit. And he couldn't think of anyone else he could tell these things to who would listen.

“You want to know what I think?” she finally said. He nodded, not looking at her. She took a deep breath. “I think you have a crush on Qrow and your mind is trying to get your attention so it can tell you this.”

On second thought, maybe not. James laughed.

“Glynda, I'm straight,” he said. “And Qrow is a man. You may have noticed with all the male pronouns I kept throwing out. I don't like men. I like women. Just because I have a bad track record doesn't change that.”

Glynda pursed her lips, making that face he recognized- the one she usually used on her students when they were stubbornly refusing to see sense, and she was trying to be patient with them.

“Trust me, James, I am not likely to forget your... sexuality any time soon,” she said. When he frowned, she took another breath. “Put all of that aside,” she said. “You've never liked men before- okay, that's fine. But obviously you like one _now_. I've never liked men either, even when I tried. But if one day a man had come along that I _did_ feel things for... I wouldn't be treating myself fairly if I cast aside the idea just because I never had _before_. Sexuality can be fluid and change- not for everyone, but sometimes it does. Why should you reject the idea just because of how you've felt before?”

“I don't think it's that simple...”

She retracted her hand and folded her arms loosely. “What's the worst that could happen?” she asked, and then immediately mentally cursed herself when she remembered who she was talking to. She adopted her 'listening' face while he began listing possible outcomes, only half-paying attention until she actually realized some of what he was saying.

“He could like me just fine, and then I take my clothes off and suddenly he doesn't,” he said. That, at least, she could understand- and she couldn't vouch that Qrow would be fine with dating a cyborg. “Things could become awkward between us, poisoning our working relationship. He could decide to end my contract, and then I'd be jobless again. I wouldn't get to see Ruby and Yang anymore, I'd be leaving Winter alone to deal with Qrow's antagonism, Penny and Ruby wouldn't get to see each other as much or maybe even at all.”

“Wait, hold on.” Glynda held up a hand. “What do Ruby and Yang have to do with this?”

“They're part of the package,” he said, the tone in his voice suggesting that should be obvious. Glynda stared.

“Oh my god.”

“What?”

“Are you listening to yourself?”

“I don't understand.”

“Of course you don't.” Glynda shook her head. “Go smooch him,” she said. “It'll make you happy.”

By the time James finally left, Glynda had run out of ways to tell him to just go for it with Qrow, and all of them shot down. She just sighed and shut the door behind him, then went to grab their coffee cups and take them in the kitchen. Snow was in there, her computer in front of her and several open notebooks around her. While Glynda set about cleaning their mugs and the handful of other dishes in the sink, Snow got up and come over behind her, wrapping her arms around Glynda's waist and leaning on her back.

“You look like the physical embodiment of a sigh,” she said. “Is he being a butt again?”

“He's the most stubborn man I've ever met,” Glynda huffed, and leaned back against Snow. “And I know some pretty stubborn men.”

“You keep telling me you're grateful for him being so stubborn,” Snow reminded her. Glynda huffed again.

“And I am- I really am. It was pure force-of-will that let him survive the accident and I _am_ grateful to that- but that doesn't make him any easier to deal with when he's clearly besotted and refusing to acknowledge it just because _this_ one is a boy!”

She was breathing heavily now; she rinsed the last of the dishes and pulled the plug, turning away while the dishwater ran from the sink, wrapping her arms around Snow's shoulders and resting her cheek on the top of Snow's head.

“I just want him to be happy,” she said. “Smooching Qrow would make him happy.”

“It'd make everyone happy,” Snow agreed. “But if he's as besotted as you say, something will give sooner or later- I assume Qrow is amenable?”

“According to James, he's admitted to attraction.”

“Well there you go- something will give.”

“I hope so.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Making Glynda say smooch was fun.
> 
> (Snow is a shorty short)


	18. Chapter 18

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Trollby.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I love these phone call chapters.
> 
> I have added a section to the end of this chapter; please take note.

Qrow decided to go to bed early that night, still exhausted from the night before- it had taken him a long time to fall asleep, hyper-aware of James beside him, and then he’d woken up early when James panicked.

He left his phone with the girls so he wouldn’t be bothered if it rang, so it was Ruby who answered the call.

“Hello, Uncle Qrow’s phone~” she chirped.

On the other end, Ozpin suddenly smiled. “Hello, Ruby. It’s nice to hear from you. Is Qrow around?”

“He’s sleeping. Is it important? Mr. Ironwood really wore him out last night.”

On the other end, there was a clunk as Ozpin set his mug down rather heavily and sat straight up. He could hear Yang sputtering behind Ruby, but he couldn’t tell if she was laughing or not. He glanced at his chart. Really? They were so far ahead of schedule, then.

“Ruby, do… do you want to run that by me again?”

“Yeah, we had a sleepover last night and Mr. Ironwood was here and he slept with Uncle Qrow and Uncle Qrow muttered that he kept him up all night and he was going to go rest.”

Yang’s sputtering was becoming more clearly laughter. Ozpin’s brow furrowed. “Ruby, could you run that by me… more?”

“Mr. Ironwood was too tall for the couch. So he bunked with Uncle Qrow.”

“Oh. Oh! You mean they… _actually slept_  together.”

“Yeah. What did you think I meant?”

Ozpin could almost see the sweet innocent look on Ruby’s face, could hear it in her voice. He frowned. Was she doing this on purpose?

“Ruby…”

“Yes?”

“What do you think of James?”

“Mr. Ironwood? He’s nice. I like him. Yang says she does too,” she added, when she gave Yang a questioning look and got a thumbs up in response. “Why do you want to know?”

“Oh, just wondering.” Ozpin smiled and settled back into his chair, the one Qrow was always making jokes about. “I’m hoping he’ll be a part of your lives for a long time, so I wanted to make sure he was making a good impression.”

“Yeah, he is. Me and Yang really like him and Uncle Qrow wants to touch his butt.”

“What?”

“I have to go, Professor. See you at school!”

She hung up before he could say anything else, then set the phone back on the coffee table and looked at Yang, who was giving her a curious look.

“Did you do that on purpose?”

“Yes.”

“Nice.”

o/o

Ozpin spent several minutes staring at his phone after Ruby hung up, nearly leaping in fright when it suddenly rang. He steadied himself and hit the send button.

“Glynda?”

“What are you playing with James?”

“…I’m sorry, what?”

On the other end, Glynda sighed. He wondered if she was doing that forehead-touch thing. “Did you send James to Batter Up hoping to set him up with Qrow?”

“Oh. That. Yes. I thought it might be a good idea. Do you think it’s working?”

“Oh it’s _working_  all right. I had him over for coffee today- Oz, he’s _besotted_.”

“Wonderful!” Ozpin beamed, and moved over to his chart. Right on schedule! “I’ve just heard from a very reliable source that the feeling is mutual on Qrow’s part. We’ll have them canoodling under a bridge in no time at all, now.”

“Oz.”

“What?”

“What have I told you about playing with people’s lives like that?”

He smiled. Adjusted one of his strings. “Now, now, Glynda. You always _say_  that-”

“And yet, you never listen.”

“-but really, it always turns out okay in the end. I think James and Qrow are a good match. They’re good for one another.”

“And if they aren’t?”

“Well…” He moved another string, and smiled. “Then I’ll have to go back to square one.”

“Or you could just leave them to live their lives, without interfering.”

“And let James carry on as he is, pursuing one uninterested woman after another, refusing to accept himself? No, I don’t think so. Even if they don’t make it romantically, at least Qrow will open James up to the idea that he’s not as straight as he’s always believed. And maybe Qrow will be open to the idea of being in love again.”

Glynda made an exasperated noise into the phone. He adjusted another string. He could understand her reservation, of course. But he was honestly tired of seeing James hurt himself, over and over.

“Glynda, I know how you feel.”

“ _Do_  you?”

“James has come so far in the twenty years since he walked away from his father. But he can’t bring himself to leap this one last hurdle. Please don’t try to stop me. I really am trying to do what’s best for him.”

“Can’t you just… talk to him?”

“What did he say when you told him he had a crush on Qrow?”

“How did you-” She broke off. She’d given up asking Ozpin ‘how did you know’ years ago. “-he argued. Insisted he was straight. Laughed.” She sighed. “Okay. What do you need?”

“Just keep at it. Keep the idea at the front of his mind. I think he’ll do the rest for himself.”

Another sigh. “He better not get hurt from this.”

“He won’t.” Oz smiled. It was always easier to have Glynda on his side. “Everyone will be happier for this.”

“I hope you’re right…”

o/o

Qrow retrieved his phone from the girls before they went to bed- congratulating Ruby on her expert trolling of Ozpin when she told him- and was woken when the phone rang later, lighting up beside his pillow. He fumbled for it in the dark and set it against his ear with a groggy “’lo?”

“Qrow?”

“Jimmy?”

“…I’m sorry, I must have misdialed.” There was the sound of a soft laugh. “Why must my thumbs be so big and my phone screen so small?”

Qrow snorted. “How in the world do you have two people in your phone with names that start with Qr?”

“You’re also listed under Branwen,” James said. “B R.”

“Oh, right.” Qrow raised his head and squinted groggily at his clock. Just gone one. His head fell back to the pillow with a thud. “Who were you trying to call at one in the morning?”

“My pharmacy. I used the last of my meds today and wanted to pick up a refill on the way to work tomorrow.”

“Meds?” Qrow frowned. “What kind of meds? …if that’s not prying,” he added, mentally kicking himself.

“Pain meds,” James said. “And it’s fine.”

“Right.” Qrow frowned, blearily trying to think if James had mentioned anything about this before. “From the.. accident?”

“Yes.”

“Oh. Is it.. really bad?”

“Not usually.” There was a shift on the other end. Qrow thought he heard metal scraping against metal. “I had… very good doctors.”

“Well that’s… good,” Qrow said lamely. He wanted to say something else- find some excuse to keep James on the line. His voice sounded rough with sleep, heavy and full, and Qrow wanted to just keep listening to it. He could listen to the man read from the phone book, if he-

-shit.

“I’m gonna go back to sleep now,” Qrow said quickly. “Good night.”

“…good night.”

Qrow hung up and set his phone aside, then buried his head under his pillow and groaned. “Oh lord, Qrow, what have you done?”

o/o

The next morning, Ruby got a call from Penny. Penny sounded worried when she gave her usual cheery greeting, and Ruby stopped in the middle of getting ready to school.

“Penny, is everything okay?”

“Yes! I am- I’m fine.” There was a pause. “Ruby, I would like to speak with you privately this afternoon after school. I have something I want to tell you. It is very important. Is that okay?”

“Of course it’s okay,” Ruby said, frowning. “But are _you_  okay? You sound upset.”

“I am not upset. I am… a little anxious. I am not sure how you will take what I have to say.”

“Well- whatever it is, I’m sure it’ll be fine. We’re friends. I’m here for you, whatever you need.”

“Do you promise?”

“Of course.”

“Then I will see you this afternoon! …bye Ruby. Have a lovely day.”

“You too, Penny.” Ruby put a smile she didn’t feel into her farewell, then sat down and stared at her phone in her hand. Regardless of Penny’s words, it was clear something was upsetting her- Ruby hoped that whatever it was, it was something she could help with. She didn’t like to think of her friend being upset.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ruby just trolled the biggest troll in the story I love it.


	19. Chapter 19

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Can't catch me, gay feelings.
> 
> There's a section added to the end of the previous chapter between Penny and Ruby; if you haven't read it you'll want to go back and do that.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Das gay, Jimmy.

James had to leave early the next morning, since he and Qrow were meeting before open to discuss James’ ideas for how to draw in more customers for the shop. They desperately needed to do something; though they were getting a bit more than those first two days, they were still only averaging a handful of customers a day, most of their time spent with long stretches of James watching Qrow bake or Qrow sitting behind the counter and talking to him while he stood at the register.

Not that he wasn’t enjoying that time- watching Qrow bake, especially when there was no one around for him to perform for, was relaxing. And standing at the register for ages was boring, but for having Qrow beside him, gesturing wildly while he regaled James with tale after tale of his various adventures. He’d lived a very eventful life, if his stories were anything to go by, though James suspected they were most of them either wildly exaggerated or only half-remembered through the haze of alcohol that he was constantly consuming.

Despite his enjoyment, despite how hard it would be to give up that time together, they needed customers, so James left for work early, dropping by the pharmacy on his way in to pick up his prescription. He was lucky Brown’s was open all hours.

In the shop, the pair settled into the office, making themselves comfortable while they ran idea after idea by each other. James had a lot of thoughts, ways to take advantage of their proximity to the college and the amount of foot traffic they had from nearby businesses, but Qrow had just as many, just as good. He’d told James that he wasn’t good at thinking of “things like that- takes me too long, and I can never tell if it’ll work” but it was apparent from his words that he was selling himself short. In fact James was willing to bet that Qrow was one of the smartest men he’d ever met- just not in the conventional sense.

“I was thinking of selling individual goods,” James said, at one point. "Cookies, cupcakes, Danishes, that kind of thing. It’s all well and good to sell full-sized cakes, but there’s just not enough demand for them to support us on their own. However, we’re on the path to both the college and to the Beacon campus in the other direction for a lot of students, and many of them I feel would take advantage of a place where they can run in and grab a quick snack on their way to school- especially if they’re on the run. Selling hot beverages might help for the same reason- no, I’m not suggesting we turn into a Pequod,” he added, when Qrow looked about to protest. “But a coffee/tea/cocoa maker wouldn’t hurt. Something quick and affordable- that’s the key, they’re broke college students, after all.”

Qrow nodded. “That does sound like an idea,” he said. “When I opened the place I just wanted to make cakes but you’ve got a point about demand. There just aren’t enough people who need cakes at the same time.”

“I think it would go well,” James said. “And like I said, taking advantage of the teen and college-age population would be our best bet. They’re our closest customers, and they’re the ones who will be here the most.”

Qrow agreed, and by the time they had to close the meeting and open the shop, there was a long list of potential ideas that he assured James he would put more thought into. Then Qrow was in the kitchen and James was behind the register, and they were back to their usual for the day.

After dealing with an early customer, James went into the kitchen to pass her order onto Qrow and stayed there while the man got to work on a new cake. He was in the middle of telling him another idea he’d had when he stopped. He’d realized he’d been staring at Qrow’s hands the entire time, focusing on the way he’d moved so fluidly between steps. Glynda’s suggestion that he just smooch Qrow danced through his mind; his neck burned hot with embarrassment and he turned and fled to the office, closing it behind him and sitting at the edge of the desk, taking a few deep breaths to steady himself.

“Get ahold of yourself, James,” he chided. “And stop letting Glynda get into your head.”

In the kitchen, Qrow set the bowl of batter he was mixing down and turned to lean back against the counter, pulling his flask from his pocket with shaking hands and taking a long drink from it. He wasn’t sure why James had run off just now in the middle of his sentence, but he was too grateful to care. He’d been trying so hard to listen to what he had to say and had failed miserably, focused instead on the rich timber of his voice and the way it seemed to get under his skin so perfectly. He had fallen asleep with that voice in his head last night, had suffered dream after dream of it, and it had made it no easier to deal with in person this morning. He couldn’t avoid the truth much longer, he knew.

“Bad enough you having the hots for the guy,” he chided himself, capping his flask and returning it to his pocket. “No, you had to go and get a _crush_  on him too.”

o/o

James was feeling more and more disoriented, so when Winter arrived at noon, he told Qrow he had some errands to run and excused himself, assuring them he’d be back by the time Winter needed to collect her sister. Then he headed out and down the street, not entirely sure where he was going: he just needed to be away from Qrow, and clear his head.

He was unsurprised to find himself in front of Beacon High. It seemed he always went to Ozpin when he was troubled. But who could blame him? The man had put him back on his feet when he’d had nothing, had always been there for him. He trusted him more than he trusted himself, sometimes- and even now, he found himself going to him when he needed someone.

It was around lunchtime, now. He could go up and see him, join him for lunch and maybe Ozpin would tell him that everything would be okay and that he could stop worrying so much.

He had just checked in at the office and was on his way to the elevator when he heard a cheery voice calling his name. He turned around in time to get an armful of Ruby, chirping cheerful greetings at him like she hadn’t just seen him yesterday, like she hadn’t seen him every day for the past week, like she wasn’t going to see him that evening.

“Hi Ruby,” he said, a fond smile tugging at his lips.

“What are you doing here?” she asked. “Is everything okay down at the shop?”

“Yes, everything’s fine. I have to talk to Professor Ozpin, that’s all.”

“Oh! Okay.” She bit her lip slightly. “Um, do you think I could walk with you to Ozpin’s office?”

“Of course, as long as you aren’t meant to be in class right now.”

“No, it’s fine, I’m at lunch- I just… wanted to ask you something.”

“Then by all means.” He gestured to the elevator, and followed her in. Once the doors were closed and they were on their way up, he looked down at her. “Yes?”

“Um… is everything okay with Penny? She called me this morning and said she was anxious and wanted to talk to me…” She wrung her hands nervously. “I just… you don’t think I offended her or anything, did I? Or did something happen?”

James’ eyebrows raised a bit in surprise. Penny had said she wanted to tell Ruby, but he hadn’t realized she meant so soon. He rested a hand on Ruby’s shoulder, trying to pour reassurance into it. 

“I don’t think so,” he said. “Ruby, Penny trusts you a lot. You’re the first friend she’s ever had- I hope you understand what I’m saying?”

Ruby nodded. “You’re saying you know what she wants to tell me and you don’t think it’s bad.”

“Right.” He gave her shoulder a squeeze and moved his hands behind his back, clasped tightly. “You’re a smart girl, Ruby.”

“I like to think so.” She gave him a smile after the elevator came to a halt. “Thanks for reassuring me, Mr. Ironwood. I’ll see you this afternoon.”

o/o

Oz was finishing his lunch when James arrived; he offered him some tea and told him to have a seat.

“What’s wrong?” he asked, once James had sat down.

“I can’t just visit you unprompted without there being something wrong?”

“You can, and I encourage it, but right now you seem troubled.” He leaned forward, resting his elbows on his desk. “Tell me what’s wrong.”

“I-” James sighed. Laughed softly. “I can’t get Qrow out of my head,” he admitted. “Glynda said I should smooch him- she put the idea in my head and I can’t shake it.”

“Oh.” Oz sat back. “Why don’t you, then?”

James looked taken aback. “He’s a man,” he said.

Oz raised an eyebrow, then stood up and limped over to his window, staring out at the courtyard. After a moment, he turned back around.

“Do you remember the night we met? Do you remember what you said to me, when you told my why you walked away from your father?”

James just furrowed his brow. Oz pressed on.

“You said ‘He can’t hurt me anymore’.” Oz turned and limped over, until he was standing in front of James again. “James, he can’t hurt you anymore.”

There was a long silence, while Oz moved over to his desk and took a seat behind it. He folded his hands in front of him and smiled. “I know you well enough to know that if I asked the worst that could happen if you smooched Qrow, you would give me a list. Instead I’ll ask- what’s the worst that could happen if you _don’t_?”

“What?”

“He’s attracted to you?”

“He says he is.”

“And how long until something gives?”

“I don’t understand.”

“No. I don’t think you do.”

That was his cryptic voice again. James sighed. Was he ever going to get a good answer?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You know that part in S3E1 where Ruby is like "PYRRHA!!!" all excited like yeah that's how I imagine her saying everyone's name when she greets them.
> 
> Points for anyone who figures out the Pequod joke.


	20. Chapter 20

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Das gay, Qrow.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This fic is like, seventy percent self indulgence and thirty percent Cili indulgence.

After James left, Qrow settled into his kitchen to work on an order, while Winter stood behind the register, back straight, eyes forward. He watched her sometimes, wondering at such a stance- wondering if it had been trained into her, or if it was just her nature. He moved over and leaned on the window.

“Let me ask you something, Princess,” he said. She turned a cold look on him.

“Yes?”

“What’d your old man cut you off for? I mean, what was the path you chose that made him turn you out?”

“I hardly think that’s any of your business.”

“Still wanna know. Besides, I’m your boss. Just wanna make sure you aren’t involved in any kind of illegal activity. Smuggling, drug trafficking, excessive jaywalking…”

“No. And I’m certain it’s against the law for you to attempt to use your position as my employer to try to pry into my personal life.”

“You think?”

“Yes.”

“I’d have to ask Jimmy about that one. And I will,” he added, giving her a warning finger. “We’ll see what he has to say.”

“You know he doesn’t like being called Jimmy, don’t you?”

“I noticed.” He came around into the front and leaned back against the counter. “And you don’t like being called Princess. Doesn’t stop me.”

“You enjoy needling people.”

“I like getting under people’s skin. Yours especially.”

“Why?”

“Cause I’m a cocky little shit.”

She raised an eyebrow at him. “And the real reason?”

He cocked a grin at her. “You first, sweetheart.”

They stared each other down for a long time. Finally, she tilted her head back slightly, staring down her nose at him.

“Very well.” She shifted to stare down at the register, hands wringing behind her back. “I decided to pursue a career as an artist.”

He stared. Squinted at her. “Try again,” he said. “Rich fogeys don’t mind their daughters being artists.”

“A… specific… type of artist.” 

He continued to stare at her; her cheeks blazed red. When she made no motion to continue speaking, he glanced down at his nails.

“So… what kind of art are we talking here? Manga? Weird manga? …hentai?”

“No.” Her blush spread until her whole face seemed red. “…furry,” she whispered.

There was a long silence. Suddenly, Qrow burst out laughing. Winter glared at him until he settled down.

“All right,” he said. “That was funny enough to unlock some backstory. Okay, you wanna know why I like getting under your skin?”

“Yes.”

“My mom was a cook,” he said. “Worked for a rich family- well, several rich families, she went to whoever had the best offer. Good cook, made us an okay living, and all those rich people every day, getting fed and getting to eat just cause my mom was there. You know how much thanks she got?”

Understanding was beginning to dawn on Winter. She pursed her lips.

“Yeah. Not a lot. Me and my sister used to go over after school sometimes, if she couldn’t get a sitter for us. And we watched our mom working herself to the bone to do this work, come home tired, and it stung. Seeing her reduced to _the help_ by the people she was working for stung. And then, hearing you- you, you spoiled little princess, stand there and say that you thought that kind of work would be _easy_  for you… that _really_  stung.” He broke off. Sneered at her. “ _That’s_ why I like getting under your skin, Princess. Cause you got under mine.”

There was a long silence. In the interim, James returned, pausing in the doorway when he saw Winter’s red face, Qrow’s sneer. He sighed. “Did I make a mistake leaving you two alone?” he asked.

“We’re fine, Jimmy,” Qrow said. “Get your errands sorted out?”

“Yes. I have some paperwork to do,” he added. “I’ll be in the office if you need me.”

“Sure.”

He watched James as he disappeared into the office, staring at the door long after it had clicked closed. He got the feeling that James was avoiding him, and that stung, too. He wondered if it was because of his admitted attraction to the other man, James not wanting things to be awkward between them. Winter followed his gaze, a smug smile tugging at her lips.

“It seems I’m not the only one who’s gotten under your skin,” she said softly.

Qrow shot her a surly glare, then turned and disappeared back into the kitchen without a word.

o/o

Once Ruby and Yang arrived at the shop, Ruby and James went for their usual daily walk to Penny’s. Ruby was more subdued than he was used to; her hood was pulled up all the way, her hands shoved deep into her pockets, and she didn’t run ahead of him like usual. He knew that she was anxious about what Penny had to talk to her about, and he wished he could reassure her more, but he also knew that it wasn’t his place. Penny had decided to trust Ruby, and he had to let her make that choice for herself.

He just hoped that Ruby was worthy of that trust.

At Penny’s, he didn’t get his usual enthusiastic greeting: Penny was just as subdued as Ruby. He did get a hug, though, and he squeezed her tight, reassuring. “Good luck,” he whispered, before standing and backing off. “I can stay if you want me to.”

“No. That will be all right,” Penny said, forcing a smile. “I am certain that everything will go well. Will you come with me to my room, Ruby?”

“Sure, Penny.” Ruby took Penny’s hand in hers and gave it a squeeze. “I’m _sure_  everything will go well, too.”

“Right.” James swallowed, then forced himself to leave. It was Penny’s choice, he reminded himself. This was one thing he couldn’t protect her from. That didn’t mean he didn’t wish he could, though.

o/o

James was on edge when he got back to the shop, so he shut himself into the office and asked not to be disturbed, staying there until around sundown, when the bell over the door jangled loudly, as though the door had been thrown open. He strained his ears and heard- yes- that was both Ruby and Penny calling cheery greetings to the others. He let out a sigh of relief. If things had gone poorly, Penny wouldn’t be here and neither girl would be in such high spirits.

There was a knock on the door, and he called entry. Penny and Ruby burst in, both laughing and breathless. Ruby flopped down in the second desk chair, and Penny came over to give James a proper, tight hug, which he returned gladly.

“I take it things went well?” he asked. Penny nodded against his shoulder; he looked over at Ruby.

“Everything is fine,” Ruby said. “And Penny, I’m really, really touched that you would trust me with this kind of information. I promise to do everything I can to deserve it.”

Penny beamed at her, then turned to look up at James. “Ruby said it’s silly for me to say I’m not a real girl just because I wasn’t born one,” she said. He smiled and tweaked her bow.

“She’s right, you know. You are a real girl. I’ve said it all along.”

“Yes, but you are my godfather. You are contractually obligated to be supportive of me.”

“Yeah? Is that so?” He looped an arm around her legs and scooped her up, cradling her and hugging her close while she giggled. “Good thing it’s so easy to do, then.”

o/o

Tai called up Qrow that night, wanting to check on everyone. He spent awhile talking to both of his daughters before the phone was finally passed to Qrow. No sooner had Tai heard Qrow’s tired greeting and the click of him closing his bedroom door behind him than he said, “So who’s Ironwood and why do my daughters keep mentioning him?”

Qrow stopped in place, and sighed, leaning back on his door and pressing his hand to his forehead. “We talked about him already,” he said. “James, my business partner. The girls have spent a lot of time around him in the past week. I guess he just comes up. He has a habit of worming into places he shouldn’t.”

“Oh. I guess that makes sense. He’s shiny and new.”

Qrow let out a short squawk of laughter. “Sure, let’s go with that.”

“Qrow?”

“What?”

“Are you okay? Yang said you’ve been out of sorts the past few days.”

“I’m fine.” Qrow made his way over to his bed and flopped over onto it, grunting when he bounced. “Just-” He sighed. He could tell Tai. “I kind of have a crush on Jimmy,” he said. “And it’s really got me on edge.”

“A crush?” Tai sounded surprised, understandably so. “Seriously?”

“Don’t rub it in.”

“No- I’m proud of you. This is a big deal. Are you going to act on it?”

“Given the guy’s girls-only? No, I’m not. Last I checked I wasn’t a girl.”

“Oooh.” He could almost hear Tai wincing. “That’s rough, buddy.”

“Tell me about it. And, oh, Tai, you don’t _understand_. He’s the sexiest man this side of Mistral.”

“That bad, huh?”

“I’m pretty sure he’s actually seven feet tall and if there’s an ounce of fat on him I’ll eat my hat. You could cut glass on his cheekbones. His eyes are blue. He wears _reading glasses_ , Tai. We’re sat there every night doing the books and he’s got these glasses and he turns around and _looks_  at me through them, and it’s all I can do not to just jump him right there.”

“Wow. Sounds like you’ve got it bad.”

“You should see him with the girls. And he’s got this goddaughter, Penny-”

“Ruby mentioned her, yeah. A lot.”

“-they’re pretty close, yeah. You should see him with her- he adores her and the feeling is clearly mutual. I love just watching them together. And then there’s the down time at the shop, when it’s just the two of us. He started talking about robots the other day- he used to work on ‘em, you know, he knows loads. And I- I don’t even know what he was saying cause I was just watching him.”

“Poor Qrow,” Tai said. “All that time spent avoiding romance, and when you finally get the bug, it’s for a straight man.”

“Not the first time,” Qrow almost growled. On the other end, Tai made a sheepish noise.

“So what are you going to do?”

“I don’t know. What am I supposed to do? I can’t keep this up, not if every waking minute I’m thinking about how much I just- just want to _be_  with him. And I can’t just fire him, he’s got a contract. But something’s gotta give, Tai.”

“Well whatever it is, just don’t let it be your self-control.”

“I would never.”

“I know.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Shoutout to Anipendragon for giving me the idea to make Penny trans. They pointed out that it fit well with her "want to be like other girls" narrative and I agreed.


	21. Chapter 21

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The one where they smooch.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Das really gay, guys.

Over the next few days, things between James and Qrow seemed to get more tense. James was trying to put space between himself and Qrow, trying to sort out his head, impossible as that seemed. Qrow, for his part, was trying to avoid making things more awkward than they already were, trying to strengthen his weakening resolve. He refused to be That Guy, to push his attention at someone who wasn’t interested, but goddammit, it was tearing him apart.

The tension was mounting like an incoming storm, pressure building until it seemed almost tangible- and like everyone said, something had to give.

It gave on Friday morning.

Qrow had finally managed to nail down a couple of possible t-shirt designs that he wanted to use, and he brought his little notebook to James to get his opinion. James spent a long time studying the three designs, before finally flipping the notebook around to point out the one he liked. It slipped from his hand, though, and he knelt to pick it up at the same time as Qrow. They found themselves face-to-face beside the counter, staring close at one another.

Qrow had never been this close to James’ face- he couldn’t stop staring.

“My god, your eyes are sapphires.”

James looked baffled. They both stood, slowly. “What?”

“...I can’t do this anymore.”

It was sudden, the statement blank and unfeeling. Qrow backed away, making as if to flee, but James grabbed his wrist and held on. Qrow struggled to pull himself free, but James had a grip like iron; after a moment, he seemed to catch himself and let go, but this time, Qrow didn’t try to leave, instead looking up at James with panic in his eyes.

“I can’t- do this anymore.”

“What? What can’t you do?”

“This!” Qrow gestured around him in an all-encompassing arc. “I tried, okay? I _tried_ not to be attracted to you, I tried damn hard but- it’s not just that you’re somewhere in the top five sexiest people I ever met, you’re- you’re the most bull-headed, big-hearted man I know. My girls are convinced you’re the best thing on this planet and half the time, _I’m not sure they’re wrong_! And I can’t- can’t keep coming into work, every day, and spend all day with you, watching you and knowing I can’t- have you. It’s hard, okay? I thought I could do it but- but I can’t.” He sagged weakly. “I can’t. I’m sorry. I can’t.”

“Qrow-" 

James watched Qrow, his words crashing around James like a tidal wave, and several things began to- finally- click into place in his head. He opened his mouth to speak, but couldn’t think of any words. Qrow was shrinking in on himself, hunched over, wary and beaten, like a small animal who’s been cornered by a predator and is sure it’s about to be devoured. And even as James made this observation, a part of his mind- a part that had always had the most inappropriate timing- commented that that didn’t sound like such a bad idea and before James actually realized what he was doing he’d grabbed Qrow by his arms and pulled him into a kiss, or in any case he’d mashed their lips together rather sloppily, but it was packed with adrenaline and it was more the gesture than the act itself that counted, or so he hoped.

Qrow, for his part, just sagged weakly in James’ grip, which was in danger of crushing him if James didn’t let go soon. But he did try to return the kiss, swiping his tongue along James’ lips and chasing when he pulled away. For a long moment they stayed there, before James eventually set Qrow at arm’s length, loosening his grip but still holding the man steady, and away. He needed space to think; proximity would not help him.

But Qrow had other plans. His arms free, he stepped right back into James’ personal space and threw them around James’ neck, dragging him down into another kiss. This one was much nicer, and Qrow, now that he could use his hands, decided to indulge a long-held desire to bury them in James’ hair, ruining the perfectly neat and tidy shape of it and getting his hands coated in dried hair gel for his efforts

When they pulled away this time, Qrow hung heavy against James, resting his forehead on James’ shoulder, both breathing hard. James had his left arm wrapped around Qrow’s shoulders. Qrow wished he'd put the other one there too.

"I’ve got a crush on you,” Qrow said raggedly. James laughed, and Qrow felt it all around him.

“I noticed.” The hand on his back began moving, stroking gently, a soft up-and-down motion against his spine. Qrow almost purred in response. “I think I have a crush on you too.”

They fell silent. Qrow needed to say something, to break the silence.

“We should go on a date,” he said.

“Yeah?”

“Fair’s in town. That could be fun.”

“Okay.”

o/o

When Winter came into work, she noticed the loosening of the tensions in the shop. Qrow was singing in the kitchen again, a song about a flashing pikes, while James stood behind the register, a small smile tugging at his lips. Winter stopped in the doorway long enough to breathe a sigh of relief before moving over to clock in. It seemed like things were okay with them again.

Qrow spotted Winter coming in and moved over to the kitchen window.

“We’re closing early tonight, Princess,” he said. “So you won’t need to come back for your five o’clock shift.”

She raised an eyebrow. “Is everything alright?”

“Yeah, it’s fine. Just the fair’s in town and I’ve got a date with a cute boy tonight.”

His grin was cocky; in front of him, James’ neck was burning red. Winter smiled- probably the first time she’d ever smiled at something Qrow said. “It’s about time,” she said.

“What?”

“Nothing.” She smiled sweetly at him. “I was going to ask for the evening off anyway,” she added. “I want to take my sister to the fair.”

“Well, go for it, and have fun. Win her a teddy bear or something.”

He turned back to his cakes, humming again. Winter turned her attention to James.

“I thought you were straight,” she said. His blush spread a bit.

“So did I?”

“Ah.” They traded places, Winter taking over the register while James sat down beside her. “I hope he turns out better for you than my closet key did.”

“May I ask?”

“Let’s just say… I was the realization that she wasn’t as much of a lesbian as she thought.”

“…oh.” He gave her a sympathetic look, but she gave him a small, dainty half-shrug.

“We were quite young. I don’t have any hard feelings, it was just very embarrassing at the time.” She gave him an abbreviated version of the story, and when it was over James gave her a sympathetic look. “But I think Mr. Branwen has had time to explore whether or not he likes men,” she added. “And I think you’ll be fine… questionable taste aside.”

“Still haven’t figured out how to win him over?” he asked. She scowled.

“I haven’t  _done_  anything to him,” she huffed. “Why should  _I_  have to win _him_  over?”

“Because you’re working for him, and not the other way around. I know it’s not fair,” he added, when she bristled. “But that’s how it works. But I’m here- and I understand your position, I do. I was right where you are, once. I’ll do what I can to help.”

“You’re a good man,” Winter sighed. She glanced around at Qrow, who had leaned back from his worktop to peer quizzically at them through the window. She raised her voice so he could hear them too. “A good man with very questionable tastes.”

“Rude!” Qrow called, then went back to his cake. Winter smiled smugly.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> James trying to be Winter's Oz gives me life. Precious angel.


	22. Chapter 22

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ruby is intimidating.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I apologize to anyone who is subscribed to this because I'm about to drop a ficbomb on you. Sorry/not sorry.
> 
> Because I wrote this while I was offline, none of this material was pre-posted to Tumblr, for those of you who read there as well as here.

James went home after work, so he could change and get ready for the evening. He was on edge, his mind seeming to vibrate with the intensity of it. He was going on a date- his first date in years, and with a man, no less. He was pretty sure that sooner or later his mind was going to catch up with this and demand to know what the hell he was doing, but honestly- in the moment, he didn’t care. He liked Qrow, had enjoyed kissing him- both that first enjoyable kiss and the ones they’d stolen later, in the slow moments in the store, and then again in the office just before parting. Kissing Qrow felt like the most obvious thing in the world, and he fully intended to do a lot more of it.

He’d found in the past eight hours that Qrow was in fact an unrepentant flirt- the man hadn’t stopped since James admitted that his attraction was mutual, making everything from the expected lewd comments about climbing James like a tree to surprisingly tender touches- Qrow was tactile, and communicated as much with his touches as he did with his words and body language. And what he was communicating, loud and clear, was  _want_. He wanted James- wanted him in every way possible.

And James wanted just as much, enough to knock the wind from him from the intensity of that want.

He could only hope Qrow would still  _want_  when he saw what James was really like underneath his clothes.

o/o

James met Qrow at his apartment, where Ruby and Yang were getting ready to go to the fair as well. Qrow and Ruby were both still getting dressed, so James sat down at the counter to talk to Yang while they waited and while Yang did her make-up.

“I’ve always had a deep admiration for the dedication make-up requires,” James said, watching Yang carefully apply her eyeliner. “And the nerve it must require to put a sharp object so close to your eye.”

“It isn’t easy,” Yang agreed, finishing off her eyeliner and putting it away. “But it’s definitely worth it. How do I look?” She tossed her hair back, shaking it loosely around her, and smiled.

“What’s the phrase- on point?” When she looked about to laugh, he smiled. “Stunning,” he added. “And no smudges.”

“Good.” Yang checked herself in her mirror one last time, then set it aside and turned to him, folding her hands in front of her and adopting a stern look. “So,” she said. “You’re going on a date with my Uncle Qrow.”

Oh, were they having this conversation already? He mirrored her position. “That’s right.”

“Thought you were straight.”

He shrugged lightly. He got the feeling he was going to be having this conversation a lot in the coming weeks. “So did I.”

“So Uncle Qrow is your closet key?”

“If that’s the word for it, then I guess so.” He shrugged again. “To tell the truth, I’m kind of nervous. I’m pretty sure this is all a dream I’m having, that I’m going to wake up from.”

“Damn, you really have got it bad,” Yang said. They were joined then by Ruby, who took a seat beside Yang and mirrored her pose and stern look. James fought down a laugh at how intimidating she was failing to look.

“So what are your intentions with our Uncle Qrow?” Ruby asked.

“I thought we might eat some funnel cake at some point,” James said, deliberately avoiding her real point. “Maybe go on a ride or two. Do you think he’d enjoy a haunted house?”

“I think he’d enjoy pretending to be freaked out by the ghosts,” Yang said, wiggling her eyebrows a little. James recalled Qrow mentioning that only one of the girls was related to him by blood- he could never remember which, but times like these, he could guess. Yang was a lot like her uncle sometimes.

Ruby’s hands came down on the counter. “That’s beside the point!” Ruby said. “Do you or do you not intend to canoodle under a bridge with my uncle?”

Yang elbowed her sister. “Ruby, that’s none of our business.”

“Never stops Uncle Qrow.”

“…maybe,” James said, before the argument could dissolve further. He cleared his throat, a little uncomfortable. “But that’s something Qrow and I will need to talk about. Alone.” This accompanied by a pointed look. Ruby shrank bashfully, but almost immediately perked up again.

“Okay! Thank you for being honest with me.”

“…Right.”

o/o

Sun and Blake arrived at the same time that Qrow finished getting dressed. Ruby launched herself at Sun with a cheer, dragging him outside with a wave and a called farewell to the others. Qrow rubbed the back of his neck in perplexity, then turned to Yang. “Does that kid ever button his shirt?” he asked. Yang and Blake both started giggling, Yang managing to shake her head in negative while Qrow and James looked on, baffled.

“We're not sure he knows how,” Blake said. “You should have seen him at the spring formal last month- he just wore a tie and his shirt was _still_ undone. Ruby doesn't seem to mind though,” she added, eyes twinkling.

The girls left soon after that, leaving James and Qrow alone. Qrow noticed they were holding hands as they went, and grinned. “I'm not the only one getting a move on, then,” he said. “Good for them! Yang's been pining for ages.”

“And you?” James asked, holding out his living hand to Qrow. “How long have you been pining?”

“Feels like an eternity,” Qrow said, taking James' hand and twining their fingers together. He grinned up at James- _besotted fool_ , he told himself, but couldn't bring himself to care. James' hand was warm in his, big and calloused and comfortable. “Ready to go?”

“Yes.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> How many years are we talking there Jimmy


	23. Chapter 23

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> First date.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There are some JNPR cameos in this chapter! For those who were hoping for a Weiss cameo, I'm sorry; I had hoped to have both her and Neptune appear, but it just didn't work out. (Not together, just in general.)

The fairgrounds were alive with rides and games and food vendors- colorful and bright, energy everywhere. Qrow insisted on buying them both all-night passes for the rides- pricey, but he said it would be worth it not to have to pay every time they went on a ride.

“We get discounts on the games, too,” he added. “You should win me a present.”

James raised an eyebrow. “Why?”

Qrow looked him up and down slowly, eyes raking over James' body, imagine the bunch of muscles under his shirt while he threw baseballs at bottles or... whatever. Smirked. “No reason.”

“All right,” James said. “What should I win you?”

“How about that?” Qrow pointed over at one of the games, the hammer game. Over the booth hung an array of stuffed animals, and Qrow was pointing at the biggest one, a black and red dragon about as big as his torso. “It looks creepy,” he said, by way of explanation. “Think you can win it?”

James eyed the prize list, the requirements for various sizes, and the hammer and bell. He clenched and unclenched his mechanical hand, and nodded. “Yeah,” he said. “I think I can manage something.”

There was another couple ahead of them, a boy and a girl about Yang's age. While they waited, the girl paid the vendor and picked up the hammer, raising it above her head like it weighed nothing, then bringing it down with a yell on the bumper. The peg sailed up and against the bell with a clang; the vendor stood stunned for a moment, staring. The girl ambled over to him.

“The big bird,” she said, pointing at the enormous bird beside the dragon. The vendor picked up his jaw and turned to oblige, and the girl passed the bird over to the boy, who murmured a quiet thanks and leaned down to kiss the top of her head before the two wandered off on their way, the girl taking a massive bucket of popcorn back from the boy.

“She stole your thunder, Jimmy,” Qrow said, while James paid for a round and took the hammer. “Now even if you do the exact same thing, it won't be as impressive.”

“You think so?”

“Well, yeah. She's a tiny little girl and you're a tree.”

“Will you still be impressed?”

“Sure.”

“Then it doesn't matter. Move back, please.”

He tested the weight of the hammer in his hands first, made a great show of swinging it lightly to check the balance, then brought the hammer down onto the bumper with a crash. The bell clanged once before bell and peg both sailed off, clattering to the ground behind the game. James looked down at the broken equipment, then over at the vendor with a sheepish look.

“Sorry,” he said. “I guess I miscalculated.”

The dragon was shoved into his hands with a glower; he passed it to Qrow and the two hurried away, Qrow laughing hysterically.

“Did you do that on purpose?” Qrow asked. “Because of what I said?”

“No,” James said. “I really did miscalculate. The peg weighs more than the weight marked, but I wasn't able to gauge the exact amount. I estimated, and clearly, I estimated wrong.”

“Well, I'm impressed,” Qrow said, looping his free arm through James' right. James winced and pulled his arm free, covering the motion by pointing over at a haunted house.

“Let's go in there,” he said. “Yang said you enjoyed haunted houses.”

“I like spooky shit, yeah,” Qrow said, a little hurt by James pushing him away. He reminded himself that James was probably still adjusting to liking men, and tried to push it from his mind, but it stung.

Once they were in line, though, James draped an arm lightly over Qrow's shoulder. Qrow smiled, and leaned closer to him. Much better.

o/o

The haunted house required them to go in groups of four, so they were paired with another teenage couple, a girl with brilliant red hair and a blond boy who was already clinging to her arm in fright.

“Pyrrha, are you really really really really _really_ sure about this?” he said. She just grinned.

“It'll be _fine_ , Jaune. It's fun to be frightened!”

“No it isn't!” He tightened his death grip on her arm. “This is how horror movies start! The teenagers go into a haunted house thinking it's a game and then the monsters turn out to be real and next thing you know everyone is dead but the virgin! Pyrrha, you've doomed me!”

“ _Jaune_ ,” she said, amusement coloring her voice. “ _We'll be fine_.”

He just whimpered in response. Beside him, James noticed that Qrow's shoulders were shaking, and looked down, surprised that Qrow would be so frightened of a haunted house. But when he looked, he realized that he was shaking with suppressed laughter. He gave Qrow a scolding look, but just got Qrow's usual cocky grin instead. He rolled his eyes, and followed the pair through the entryway into the shadowy maze.

It wasn't particularly frightening, James thought, and Qrow seemed to agree, though he did take advantage of every jump scare to scoot closer and closer to James. James didn't object- he liked having Qrow pressed against him, hot and warm on his side.

o/o

Outside of the haunted house, Qrow decided they should go on some rides, taking James' hand and pulling him toward the Ferris Wheel with a laugh. James followed behind him, grinning as well to see Qrow as excited as a little kid over fair rides.

The Ferris Wheel had regular swing-style seats rather than enclosed baskets; Qrow told James that was a good thing, since it meant they wouldn't be expected to share with anyone else.

“I wanna kiss you at the top,” Qrow said. “Can't do that with someone else there. I mean, technically I can, I guess. You got an exhibitionist streak?”

“No.”

“Nah, didn't figure you would. I kinda like the thrill, but- anyway, that doesn't matter. I like smooching on top of a Ferris Wheel, that's the point I was making, right?”

“Yes.”

“You mind?” Qrow added, belatedly remembering that James might not be comfortable. He raised a questioning eyebrow, but James just smiled.

“My mind hasn't yet caught up with what's going on,” he said. “Until it does, I think you could smooch me just about anywhere and I'd let you.”

“Good to know,” Qrow said, smirking a little.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So just out of curiosity, should I tag the incidental pairings in this? I'm talking about Ruby/Sun and Blake/Yang, I think JNPR could probably go under the incidental tag. I don't really like tagging them because I know people get really pissed about having fic that isn't _about_ a ship in the ship tag, but I also know that ship tags exist just as much to warn people _away_ from a work and if I notped, for example, Sun/Ruby, it could really put me off reading a fic and suddenly there's background Sun/Ruby. What do you guys think?
> 
> (I also kind of don't want to spoil the Sun/Ruby reveal, just because it's kind of a 'wait what' moment. Hmm...)


	24. Chapter 24

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> James and Qrow talk... again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is a double length chapter because there was honestly nowhere I could break it up. Enjoy.

It was late when they left the fairgrounds, the stuffed dragon tossed over James' shoulder since Qrow got tired of carrying it. They walked back through the dark streets, pausing when they reached the turn: one way would take them to Qrow's apartment, the other, to James'. Qrow caught James' hand in his own and looked up at him.

“Wanna go back to your place?” he asked. When he felt James stiffen beside him, he added, “I just want to spend some more time with you alone, and the girls might be back at mine.”

James relaxed. He'd assumed Qrow meant... well. But he didn't want to part ways yet either, and it would be nice to have some time with Qrow without the girls or Winter or customers to deal with. It had never occurred to him before now how very little private time they got together- but apart from closing up the shop, they were never truly alone. He nodded.

“Sorry. I think my brain is catching up...”

“Yeah, I figured it would start to soon.”

o/o

When they reached James' apartment, James told Qrow to make himself comfortable and then disappeared into the bathroom. Qrow took the chance to look around- he'd always wondered about James' living space. It wasn't what he was expecting- it was neat and tidy, yes, more than Qrow preferred a living space, but it still had a very lived-in feel to it: there was a bowl of fruit ( _real_ fruit) on the coffee table, a dish for collecting spare change on the tv stand. Pictures decorated the walls, mostly of James and Penny at various points in her life. The furniture looked softer than its stuffy appearance would suggest- _just like Jimmy_ , Qrow thought.

He shoved his hands in his pockets and made his way around the room, studying the pictures on the wall while he waited. It looked like Penny had gone through a pretty long tomboy phase, judging by her clothes and hair for most of her life. The pictures of her in dresses and bows all looked pretty recent. That look of adoration she gave James seemed to be a pretty permanent fixture for her, though. Qrow liked that.

There was a picture set off to the side, out of the way, that drew Qrow's eyes. It was James' father, he guessed- smaller than James, but with the same sharp cheekbones, the same stern face and the same blue eyes. But where James' eyes always glittered with compassion, his father's eyes were cold, and cruel. Qrow recognized those eyes- he'd never met the man, but he'd met plenty of parents with those eyes, back when he was still a teacher. He'd always kept a close watch on the children of those parents. He'd never been wrong, either- not once.

Suddenly a lot of things about James made sense to Qrow.

“He wasn't a nice man,” James said, coming back into the living room and following Qrow's line of sight. Qrow turned around; James was watching him closely, a little on edge. Fiddling nervously with the edge of his glove. It looked like his mind had finally caught up with him and was demanding answers. James came over to stand beside him, hands held stiffly behind his back.

“Why keep a picture of him around, then?”

“As a reminder.” James shrugged delicately. “I don't want to forget where I came from.”

“There's a lot of people who'd be happy to forget it all.”

Another delicate shrug. “We all have different coping mechanisms. Have a seat,” he said. “I'd rather talk to you about literally anything besides my father right now.”

“All right.” Qrow took a seat on the chair, sitting at the edge and leaning forward on his knees. He was on edge now, too- he wasn't ready to have this conversation, but he'd overheard James talking to the girls and it looked like it would be best to go ahead and get it out of the way. “Let's talk about sex.”

James stiffened noticeably at his words, and Qrow was glad he'd put space between them now. He could see the panic in James' eyes, knew it would be ten times worse if Qrow was touching him. Qrow sighed.

“Listen, Jim... I know you're not crazy about anyone seeing what you got going on under your clothes,” he said. “That accident messed you up, and you're damn insecure about it- why else wear long sleeves and a hot glove in the middle of the summer?”

James looked down at his gloved hand. He rarely noticed it, anymore- the delicate calibrations of his cybernetics meant that he felt it, yes, but cybernetics couldn't mimic skin exactly- they could send him the message of 'glove', but they couldn't itch, they couldn't feel too warm. He could adjust them so that the glove was never uncomfortable, and the same for his sleeve, for his pants leg, his socks and shoes. But others noticed.

“And on top of that, you've never been with a dude before.” A flush spread across the back of James' neck at that, and Qrow resisted the urge to smirk. God, he was going to love winding James up- once he got him there, anyway. “So I get it, okay? You're not ready. You might not be ready for awhile. And I get that. I do.”

“Qrow...”

“So- so anyway, that's what I wanted to say. You don't have to- to make excuses for pulling away, or anything. Just tell me I'm too close. I like touching you- I want to touch you a lot. But I don't want to touch you if you're not comfortable, right?”

James touched his gloved hand to his forehead, closing his eyes in relief. Qrow wondered if it would be all right for him to move closer, or if he should stay backed off. James, though, reached for him with his ungloved hand, and when Qrow took it, pulled him over to sit on the couch beside him. James' hand was shaking, Qrow realized. He wondered what was going on in that head of his.

“That accident...” he said quietly. “We keep calling it that- but the word is so small for everything that happened.”

“You wanna talk about it?”

James nodded, then shook his head, then shrugged. He was picking at one gloved fingertip, anxiety pouring off of him. “I hate talking about it,” he admitted. “But if I'm going to lose you over this, I'd rather it be now, not- not way down the line, when I'm too far gone to bounce back.”

It stung that James would think that- that he'd expect Qrow to just run over some deformities. He didn't put voice to that thought, though. He could see this was something that needed careful treading. James was taking deep breaths, now, steadying himself, and then he tugged off his glove and held up his hand. The hand glinted silver in the bright lights, clenching and unclenching with nerves. Qrow blinked.

“A robot hand?” he asked. But- no- James wore sleeves. “A- whole robot arm? You seriously think I'm taking off over a prosthesis?”

“A prosthesis?” James said. He shook his hand. “No, I don't think that would bother you much. But my cybernetics extend a bit further than just my arm.”

Qrow raised an eyebrow. “How extensive are we talking?”

“My right side,” James murmured, and then, “My... _entire_... right side.”

“....oh.” Qrow's eyebrows climbed up his forehead in shock. “...what exactly happened in that lab, anyway?”

“An explosion. We were working on a new type of power core- one that would burn longer, more efficiently. I took the full brunt of the blast- I'm not sure how I survived long enough for them to get me into stasis, but they were able to replace my broken parts with shiny new ones.”

“So you're a cyborg,” Qrow said. James winced, but nodded. Qrow furrowed his brow. “...I'm still not sure what I'm supposed to be objecting to.”

“There aren't a lot of people lining up to- to make love to a cyborg.”

“You've never been on Tumblr, have you?”

“What?”

“Never mind. Look- I'm not gonna run, okay?” He put a hand on James' shoulder, coaxed him closer for a kiss. “Cyborg or not. You're stuck with me, long as you want me.”

“...thank you,” James murmured, returning Qrow's soft kiss.

Qrow would have been content to leave it at that, but James deepened the kiss and Qrow wasn't about to object: when James wrapped his arms (both of them) around Qrow's middle, Qrow pushed him back against the back of the couch. He wanted to crawl into James' lap, get even closer, but this felt like it would be a bit too fast, and sure enough, James was already stiffening (and not in the fun way) against him. He broke the kiss and backed up.

“Maybe I should go home,” he said.

“You don't have to-” James' ears were burning. “I'm sorry.”

“Nah, don't be. I think you need some more time to process, that's all. Look, I'll see you tomorrow, all right? We're closing early again so I can take the girls to the fair- you should see if Penny wants to come, too- we can make a group date of it-”

He was babbling, now. He didn't want to leave- he was afraid if he gave James' mind time to catch up with him, he'd realize he was making a mistake. But he knew he needed to give James that space, too, regardless. Didn't make it easier.

James stood to walk him to the door, then stopped his stream of babble with a kiss, pleasant and gentle. Qrow whimpered. _God_. He could live off of this man's kisses, if he needed to. He hoped he'd still have them later.

“I'll see you tomorrow,” James murmured. Qrow nodded, and turned to leave, his mind buzzing with the night's events.

Well then.

o/o

Once he was gone, James made his way into his bedroom, stripping down to his shorts and dropping himself onto his bed. Okay, so Qrow had said he didn't mind James being a cyborg- that was a relief. And he was willing to give James time to work through his- what was the word Glynda had used once? Internalized homophobia?- that, which was another relief; James had worried that Qrow, a man who clearly enjoyed sex, would find that to be a dealbreaker.

But there was still the issue of the sex itself. James ran a hand down his front, palming hopefully at the bulge in his shorts. Nothing- not that he was surprised. He was able to experience arousal in theory, of course- the cybernetics were _very_ advanced, and Dr. Polendina had seen to it that he was given the absolute best. But since the implantation, he had yet to experience it in practice- and no amount of trying, no amount of touches, no amount of porn (not that porn had ever had much effect on him anyway), no amount of _anything_ had gotten a result.

Qrow could live with a lot of things, James knew. He doubted a boyfriend with a faulty metal dick was one of them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter marks the end of Act 2. Act 3 will begin in the next one.


	25. Chapter 25

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A phone call, another phone call, and a really gay phone call.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You know I was thinking about how they all keep using euphemisms instead of just flat out saying 'sex' and I thought that was a bit weird until I remembered that except for James, who is James, all of them are (or were, in Qrow's case) teachers, so they would have fallen into the habit of just using pg versions of things in general. Also I can't really imagine Ozpin saying fuck anyway, though I feel like that's more because the euphemisms amuse him than any reason of propriety.

Qrow decided to give Ozpin a call when he got home. It was late- almost one in the morning late- but it was the weekend and he suspected Ozpin would be happy to know that his scheme was working, anyway.

“You’ll be happy to know I shoved Jimmy out of the closet,” he said, when Ozpin answered the phone, finally. Ozpin made an indecipherable noise on the other end.

“Qrow, I have no idea what you mean. Are you saying you and James hankied and perhaps even pankied?”

Qrow rolled his eyes. “You know exactly what I’m talking about, you old meddler,” he said. “And for the record there was some hanky, but no panky. Which brings me to my other point. Why didn’t you tell me you were sending me a cyborg?”

“James prefers to keep that information private. I was respecting him.”

“I mean, I get that, but a little heads up would have been nice.”

“Would it have mattered?”

“No. Just that’s the kind of thing that can catch a guy off-guard. I guess it doesn’t matter. Anyway, your scheme worked.”

“I still don’t know what you’re talking about,” Ozpin insisted. Qrow didn’t miss how smug he sounded. “I was under the impression James was straight.”

“Yeah, I’ll just bet you were,” Qrow said. “Keep up your story then, whatever. Either way I’ve got a cute boy to hanky and eventually panky with.”

“Congratulations.”

“And listen, I’m pretty pissed about you using me like this… again… but thanks all the same. I think Jimmy might actually be worth hanging onto.”

“Oh?” How was it possible for one man to sound so smug? Qrow shook his head.

“Yeah. Cause he’s not even close to being ready for sex, and I’m still here.”

“I’m happy for you Qrow,” Oz said fondly. “Lunch Sunday? You can tell me everything in person.”

“Sure. I’ll see you then.”

They hung up not long after that, Oz citing being too tired to stay on the line for much longer. Qrow didn’t buy it for a minute, but he let it go anyway- whether or not Oz was tired, Qrow was. He’d had a long, emotionally draining day, and it was just starting to hit him exactly what he’d done.

He’d entered into a romantic relationship. Practically instigated it, depending on how he looked at this morning’s events. What had he been thinking? He was not the sort of man who did romance, but here he was, as he’d told Oz, ready for the long haul.

Looked like James wasn’t the only one who needed to let his brain catch up with him.

o/o

In the dark, Snow swore and fumbled for the phone on the dresser. She spat out a mouthful of Glynda’s hair and grumbled a groggy, “It’s two in the morning, James,” when she answered. There was a pause on the other end. Snow hoped it preceded James apologizing for waking her and then letting her go back to sleep.

“Snow- I’m sorry, I just needed to talk to Glynda-”

Snow sighed, and brought her free hand up to poke Glynda’s face until she woke. Glynda woke enough to protest when Snow stuck a finger blindly in her eye. “Your boyfriend is on the phone,” Snow said. “Tell him it’s two in the morning and some of us are trying to sleep.”

Glynda mumbled confusedly, and brought the phone to her ear, squinting blearily at the clock.

“James, it’s two in the morning. Can’t this wait?”

“Glynda!” There was a pause. “I’m sorry- you’re right, it’s late- I don’t- I don’t know what I was thinking.”

There was a touch of panic in his voice. Glynda poked Snow off of her so she could sit up. “James, what’s wrong?” she asked, sleepiness replaced with concern. Though she couldn’t see him, she could just imagine that panicked, deer-in-the-headlights look he no doubt had. James thought he had a poker face, but he was an open book to the people who cared to look past his stiff exterior.

“I don’t think anything’s _wrong_ ,” he said. “I don’t- I don’t know. I just really needed to talk to someone…”

Glynda had known James long enough to guess. “Is it the Qrow thing?”

“How did you-” He stopped. “Oh, right, you didn’t. Actually… we went to the fair together tonight. _Together_ ,” he repeated, stressing the word. He cleared his throat noisily. “Like… on a date together.”

“Good for you,” Glynda said, trying to put into her voice how happy she was for him. Well, that explained why he was calling her in a panic at two in the morning. “How did it go?”

“Good.” He cleared his throat again. “It was- really, _really_  good.” There was a long silence. Glynda could tell he was working up to something. “I told him about- you know, the cyborg thing.”

Unexpected. “How’d that go?”

“Really- really well, actually.” She could hear the relief in his voice, and allowed herself a smile of relief of her own. She had worried- but she doubted Ozpin would have set them up if he thought Qrow would walk away. Still. Even Oz couldn’t plan for everything. Probably. “He said- that I was stuck with him as long as I wanted to be.”

“I’m happy for you.”

“Glynda.”

“Yes?”

“I’m dating a man.”

“Yes you are. Congratulations.”

“I’m straight, though.”

“No you aren’t.” Whatever he was expecting her to say, it wasn’t that. He made a noise of protest into the receiver. She sighed. “James, do you remember that time you walked in on Snow and I in tender embrace?” Beside her, Snow mumbled something into the pillow that sounded a lot like ‘ _tender embrace my ass_ ’. James just murmured an affirmative into the phone. “Right. Now think back to that time- were we _clothed_  when you came in?”

“Um…” There was a long silence while he tried to remember, before he finally let out a breath. “No idea,” he said. “I can’t remember.”

“No idea," she repeated. "You can’t remember.”

“I wasn’t paying attention,” he said, a touch defensive. Glynda made an expression that Snow would have described as ‘looking into the camera like she was on The Office’, if her face wasn’t buried in a pillow and preventing her from seeing.

“You weren’t paying attention,” Glynda said dryly. Beside her, Snow sat up and put her ear near the phone to listen. “Well, I was there, and I can assure you, we were both stark naked. Unclothed. As god made us. In flagrante delicto. _Completely nude_.”

“Oh.”

“And you didn’t notice.”

The silence was longer this time. She wished she could be there to see his expression.

“ _Oh_.” James sucked in a sharp breath, and, “ _Oh my god_ , I’m _gay_.”

“Bout time he figured that one out,” Snow said. Glynda shushed her, shooed her away.

“James?”

“I need… to lie down.” There was the shuffling of him doing just that. Glynda sighed.

“Do you want to come over for lunch and talk about it? Tomo- no..” She broke off, because Snow was shaking her head and miming something. “Sorry, no, we have plans tomorrow. Sunday? Let’s have lunch Sunday, we can talk.”

“Sunday,” he said. “Yes, Sunday. I think I’ll have stopped panicking by then.”

“Get some sleep,” Glynda said. “And it’s going to be okay, James. None of the people who care about you are going to care about you any less for this.”

“I- I know, I just…” He trailed off. Glynda gave the phone a sympathetic look.

“I understand,” she said quietly. God, did she. “I’ll talk to you Sunday. Good night.”

“Night…”

o/o

James had just set his phone aside and crawled into bed when it rang. He squinted at it suspiciously and picked it up, wondering if Glynda was calling back for some reason.

“Hello?”

“Jimmy?”

“Qrow?” James sat up. There was something strained in Qrow’s voice. “What’s wrong?”

“What? Nothing.” He chuckled. “Just- wanted to hear your voice, that’s all.”

“Oh.” James laid back down and pulled his covers back up. “Should I say anything in particular?”

On the other end, Qrow was shucking off his sweats and crawling into bed as well, already less tense than he’d been feeling before. He curled up under a sheet and settled down with the phone over his ear. James’ voice was a godsend, honestly.

“Tell me a story,” he said, once he’d gotten comfortable. “Something that’ll relax me and put me to sleep.”

“Okay, well…” James trailed off, stretching out and putting his free arm behind his head while he considered. All of the stories he had worth telling were about Penny, so…

“Have I ever told you about the time I wanted to take Penny to the aquarium, but managed to take a wrong turn and we ended up on an impromptu road trip instead?”

“Never mentioned it,” Qrow said, a smile tugging at his lips. Of course the story he’d tell would be about Penny- _of course_. “Tell me.”

“Okay. It was getting really close to her birthday, we were going to have a party but I wanted to spend some one-on-one time with her so I said I’d take her to the aquarium, she was really interested in fish at the time…”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There's a deleted scene with Ozpin and Salem [here](http://wyomingsmustache.tumblr.com/post/139433173944/all-in-the-batter), which was left out because I couldn't think of anything plot relevant to do with it. Enjoy it anyway because I love the idea all the same.


	26. Chapter 26

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Daddy's home.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know people were expecting something exciting for Penny at the fair, but I couldn't really think of anything worth devoting an entire section of the chapter to, so very sorry about that! It was never meant to be anything to begin with anyway.

The girls hung around the shop the next day, and between them and Winter, and their steadily increasing stream of customers, they had very little time to talk, just the two of them. They did disappear at lunchtime, though, leaving Winter and Yang to keep an eye on the store long enough for them to walk down the road to get something to eat.

“I keep swinging wildly between panic and contentment,” James said, after Qrow pointed to a hot dog stand, and they began making their way over. James nudged Qrow’s hand with his own, and Qrow took it willingly. “This feels like the most right thing in the world, I  _know_  it’s what I want- but I still keep trying to retreat.”

“Give it time,” Qrow said. “And tell me again about how I’m the most right thing in the world.”

“You’re a menace,” James said, pulling them both out of the flow of foot traffic so he could lean down and steal a kiss, slow and tender. Qrow grinned at him when they parted. “But you’re my menace,” he added.

The possessive was light, airy, but it still sent a shiver up Qrow’s spine. He gave James his usual cocky grin and tugged him back into the throng toward the hot dog stand. “I definitely like this part better than that retreat you mentioned.”

“What about you?” James asked. “You seemed kind of upset last night- are you okay?”

“Hmm?” Qrow scoffed and waved that away. “Just a bit of romo panic. I haven’t dated anyone seriously in a good twenty years, haven’t actually felt anything for anyone in twenty-five. You’re not the only one flip-flopping your feelings.”

“You seriously haven’t had feelings for someone in twenty-five years?”

“Yeah, what of it?” Qrow glared defensively up at him.

“Nothing. I’m just.. surprised, I guess.”

“Yeah, well…” He shrugged. “My best friend and my sister and I all fell for the same guy at the same time. Then he ends up going for them and I get stuck as the odd man out and the awkward fourth wheel. Kinda sours a guy to the idea of romance. Add a couple of bad relationships after that and eventually I gave up. Seemed easier to just fuck and fling instead.”

“Until me,” James said, wondering what it was about him that was enough to change Qrow’s mind. Qrow nodded.

“Until you.” He dropped James’ hand and clasped his behind his head. “Wonder what makes you so special?”

o/o

As yesterday, they closed early that night, the five of them making the walk to the fair together. The girls were in high spirits, Penny especially so, as she had been in the hospital when the fair came through last year, and unable to go. James just gave her shoulder a squeeze when she said this, while Yang and Ruby vowed that they’d have twice as much fun with her, to make up for missing last year.

By the time they were ready to part, Qrow, Yang, and Ruby in one direction and James and Penny in the other, they were all exhausted but delighted by their evening. Penny was clutching a massive black, white, and red bear that James had won for her; he’d had to use his left hand this time, because when he picked up the baseball with his right she had glared up at him and told him, very sternly, not to cheat. Ruby and Yang had seemed confused, but Qrow’d needed to step away so he could laugh at the surprised look James was directing Penny. He’d swapped to his left hand, though, and proved that he was just as good with it as his right, and Penny had squealed in delight when the enormous bear was placed in her arms.

While the girls said their farewells, Qrow stepped into James’ personal space and grinned up at him. “Do I get a goodnight kiss?” he asked, while James’ face burned crimson. 

His eyes darted to the girls, but they were talking to each other, and paying the two men no attention. Qrow stayed where he was, waiting; James brought his left hand up to cup the back of Qrow’s neck and pulled him into a kiss, all too short. Qrow grinned, and stole another before James could straighten up.

“Come on, girls,” he said. “Time to go. Goodnight, Jimmy. Penny.”

The girls waved and followed, Ruby skipping ahead to walk beside him. “You’re so gross and soppy,” Ruby said, her and Yang’s laughter and Qrow’s disgruntled noises fading away into the night.

Penny looked up at James, and shifted her bear to one arm so she could take his hand in the other. He looked down at her.

“What?”

“Are you going to marry Mr. Branwen?”

The question caught him like an uppercut. He laughed hesitantly. “I think it’s a bit early to go thinking about stuff like that,” he said. “It hasn’t even been forty-eight hours yet.”

“I think you should,” Penny said. “It would make you happy.”

“We’ll see,” he said fondly, patting her head. “Glad to know you approve, anyway.”

o/o

Qrow woke at the crack of dawn the next morning to knocking on the door and Zwei barking his head off. Qrow rolled out of bed and threw on a pair of sweats from the floor, then shuffled sleepily through the apartment, rubbing his eyes and shouting at Zwei to shut up and for whoever was there to stop knocking, he heard them already.

The knocking continued until he opened the door, and there was Taiyang Xiao Long standing before him, tanned and beaming, in that same vest and horrible cargo shorts he’d been wearing the day he left. Qrow stood stunned, staring at him, while Tai held out his arms wide, expecting welcome.

“...hey Qrow!” he said, when Qrow said nothing. Qrow rubbed tiredly at his eyes.

“You’re not supposed to be here until next week,” he said, wondering if he’d got the days mixed up. But no, the girls had already heard him and come running, pushing Qrow aside and leaping into their father’s open arms, shouting about how he was a week early. Tai just laughed and swung them around.

“Everything got wrapped up early,” he said. “I wanted it to be a surprise so I didn’t call ahead.”

While Qrow stood rubbing blearily at his eyes- it was too early in the morning for this- Tai and the girls came back inside. Qrow closed the door behind them and made to follow them into the living room, but he froze when Tai said, “Come on, girls, get dressed and I’ll take you out for breakfast! You can get your things packed later.”

Oh. Right.

Muttering to himself Qrow pushed past them and went back to his room, mumbling an excuse about going back to bed, and closed his door just a little too hard behind him.

In the living room, Tai paused in the act of throwing Ruby over his shoulder. “What’s wrong with him?” he asked. Yang shrugged.

“Maybe he stayed up late on the phone with Mr. Ironwood again,” she said, while Ruby kicked her feet and tried to get down.

“Why would he do that?” Tai asked, setting Ruby back on the floor. “Is something wrong at the store?”

Yang and Ruby exchanged a look. “No dad,” Yang said. “They’re boyfriends now.”

Tai looked surprised. “Really? Are you sure?”

“They kept smooching at the fair last night,” Ruby said. “So about ninety-nine percent sure. And Penny and I didn’t even have time for phase two of our plan,” she added. “Which is probably best.”

“What plan?”

“The plan we came up with to get Uncle Qrow and Mr. Ironwood together. We didn’t even need to!”

Tai squinted down at her, then shook his head. "I gotta stop leaving the country."

“Anyway, let’s get dressed for breakfast,” Yang said. “Uncle Qrow needs his sleep if he’s going to stay up on the phone with his boyfriend all night.”

o/o

Qrow waited till they were gone, and pressed the heels of his hand into his eyes with a long groan. He’d known Tai coming home meant the girls leaving, of course, and he was happy to see his friend, but he’d gotten used to having them around. Going back to having an empty apartment- especially a week before he was expecting to- was going to be hard.

And now he couldn’t give them a farewell breakfast or lunch, either, since he was having lunch with Ozpin later. He groaned again, and rolled over to bury his face in his pillow.

o/o

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've had to drastically change my plot from what I originally planned so you'll be happy to know that Act 3 won't be as stressful as expected. In fact I think it's fair to say that Act 3 is winding down rather than building up.


	27. Chapter 27

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lunch is served.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> CW for explicit references to past homophobic language.
> 
> Ozpin istfg

Qrow left Tai and the girls packing so he could go have lunch with Ozpin, giving them both big hugs 'to last them for a few days' before he went. He and Tai had talked while they packed, Qrow filling Tai in on what was going on with James, and Tai filling him in on how his trip had gone. Qrow didn't ask, and Tai didn't say, whether he had heard anything from Raven in that time. They both knew he'd have said by now if he had.

Ozpin was waiting for Qrow outside the cafe, twirling his cane idly while he waited. He smiled pleasantly at Qrow when he spotted him, but his smile faltered when all Qrow could manage was a moody half-smile.

“Is everything all right?” he asked, while they headed inside. “You seem down.”

Qrow shrugged. “Just bummed,” he said. “Tai came home a week early and is taking the girls home.”

“Ah.”

The knowing look Ozpin gave him at that made Qrow bristle. “I don't know why I'm so bothered,” he said. “It'll be nice not to have a couple of kids and a mutt under my feet all the time. Have a little Qrow-time, if you know what I mean.”

He waggled his eyebrows suggestively; Ozpin just looked unimpressed and turned to the menu instead. Qrow's face fell again.

“A courtesy laugh would have been nice.”

“Oh? I hadn't realized you'd made a joke.”

Now it was Qrow's turn to give his menu an unimpressed look, stewing a little while they both decided on their orders. Once the waitress had come and taken their orders and their menus, Ozpin finally looked up again.

“So,” he said. “You and James.”

“Yeah, your scheme worked. Way better than last time, too. That accounting intern of yours was too much of a basket case. And he looked _way_ too much like me.”

“I thought you might like that.”

“I did!” He huffed. “Didn't make it any less _weird_ once I sobered up a bit. And shouting almost my own name in bed? I honestly don't know what you were thinking sending him to me.”

“I was thinking Crow would benefit from a bit of rumpity-pumpity,” Ozpin said. Qrow rolled his eyes.

“We're not around your students,” he said. “You're allowed to say fuck.” Ozpin looked at Qrow over the top of his glasses. Qrow huffed. “Seriously, Ozpin. Let the word fuck enter your vocabulary. Or at least get less ridiculous euphemisms.”

Their food arrived; Ozpin turned to it with the distinct air of an eyeroll, despite his polite look never leaving his face. “Anyway...”

“You're a real pain in the ass, you know that?”

o/o

James arrived at the restaurant before Glynda, and got them both a seat while he waited. He couldn't help grinning while he did- a bit more than six months ago, he had brought Glynda to this same restaurant with the intent of making some big declaration of love that would- he had hoped- win Glynda over and finally do something about what he believed was a lot of romantic tension between both of them. Glynda had taken his declaration with a forced smile, then put a gentle hand to his and told him, still smiling, that she was a lesbian and engaged.

That had been a blow. It was still embarrassing, if he was honest, but in light of recent revelations he supposed it was for the best. He wondered if Glynda had known- but then, Snow's remarks would suggest that she did, and always had. Maybe that's why she'd always been so patient with him.

Glynda arrived not long after James did, greeting him with a smile that was a thousand times less strained than her usual one. It made his heart hurt- how had he not seen how much he was hurting their friendship before? And how close had he come to losing her forever? Glynda had been his friend for a long time- the idea of not having her steady presence at his side was too awful to consider.

“How are you feeling?” she asked. “Panic settled down a bit?”

“Somewhat,” he said. “It's getting easier to settle down when it flares up- Qrow's been a big help, he loves being in my personal space but he backs off as soon as I ask him to. But it's still there, pulsing at the back of my brain.”

“It takes time,” Glynda said. “You have to realign your entire way of thinking- and that gets harder the older you get. It took me six years from realizing I was a lesbian to actually accepting it, and I was a teenager at the time. You're actually doing really well- it's only been three days.”

“Why did it take so long? I mean...” He broke off, wondering if he should have asked that. But the knowledge that Glynda had struggled was reassuring- she was always so unflappable. She made everything look so _easy_.

“The same reason as anyone, I imagine. Things weren't as good for us twenty five years ago as they are now.”

James closed his eyes, remembering the disgusted way his father had spoken of 'faggots and dykes'. _Line 'em all up in a row and put a bullet through them,_ he'd said. _That's all they're good for, target practice._

A shiver ran up his spine. He was drawn from his thoughts by a gentle touch to his arm. “James?”

“Hm?”

“You went quiet on me. Panicking again?”

“Just thinking about what my father would say if he could see me now,” he said, trying to sound nonchalant. There was no point- Glynda knew his history. She knew his experiences with his father better than anyone, save perhaps Ozpin. She closed her hands around his, warm and grounding.

“He can't hurt you anymore,” she said gently. “Just remember that. He can't hurt you.”

“Can't he?” James shook his head. “Twenty years free, and I still flinch away from my- from my _boyfriend_ when he touches me.” He hung his head. Even the word felt like poison on his tongue.

“But you aren't letting that stop you,” Glynda countered. “You're going to be fine, James. It gets easier, I promise. And one day you'll hold Qrow and the thought of what your father might think of you won't even occur to you.”

He smiled, closing his other hand around hers. “Thank you, Glynda.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh hey so remember how I said last chapter that I didn't think Act 3 was going to be stressful after yeah well turns out I was wrong whoops
> 
> Crow from Accounting is my and Cili's other oc. He looks just like Qrow and is often mistaken for him.


	28. Chapter 28

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sleepover two, electric boogaloo.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> -posts the chapter and then stands way the fuck over there-

James was trying to decide what to do for dinner when Qrow called him. He grinned at the phone as he answered, face falling when he heard how down the other sounded in just his greeting.

“Hey Jimmy, wanna come over tonight?” Qrow asked, not wasting any time. “Tai came and got the girls, so we can finally have a bit of privacy.”

James wondered if Qrow realized how easy his tone was to read. “Of course,” he said. “Do I need an overnight bag or did you just mean for awhile?”

Qrow made a soft noise of surprise on the other end of the line. “I meant for a few hours, but if you wanted to stay the night I wouldn't kick you out. Just thought you might like taking advantage of the privacy, that's all.”

“Of course,” James said. He glanced over at the clock. “Give me time to throw together an overnight bag, and I'll be over in- let's say forty five minutes?”

“It's a twenty minute walk,” Qrow said. “How long does it take you to throw together an overnight bag?”

“Not long, but I have to make a quick stop on my way over. I'll see you then, okay?”

“Yeah, all right. See you then.”

Qrow sounded extra surly when he hung up. James hoped it was something he could take care of, and called up a Chinese place that was on the way to Qrow's. His order made, he headed into his bedroom to throw together an overnight bag, and then left, concerned for Qrow but already feeling good about getting to spend the night with him.

o/o

Qrow was sprawled out on his couch with his flask in hand, staring blankly at the tv, when he heard the knock on the door. He capped his flask and stowed it away before going to answer it. It was James, he knew- no one else could knock so solidly. He already felt a little better. James would make him feel better.

It was indeed James, standing in the doorway with a duffel thrown over his back and a bag of Chinese takeout hanging from one arm. Qrow could smell General Tso's in one of the boxes, and his face split into a grin- there was no way James could have known that it was Qrow's favorite, he had probably just gotten the kind of things they ordered when they ordered lunch to the shop- but still, it _was_ his favorite, and James bringing it to him when he was feeling down was already cheering him up.

“Tai got home a week early and took the girls home,” Qrow said, once they had settled down on the couch and were making their way through the takeout that James had brought. “I guess it just threw me off- the apartment's just too empty without them, that's all. Just wanted a bit of company.”

He stared down at the chopsticks in his hand. James didn't buy it for a second.

“Well, I don't mind keeping you company,” he said. “And it _is_ nice to have some privacy.”

“Yyyup.” Qrow took out his flask and drank from it rather than the glass of water sitting on the coffee table. James raised an eyebrow at him, and he sighed. “Doesn't matter anyway. Tai won't stay in the country more than a few months at the most, and they'll be right back here while he's gone. I should enjoy it while it lasts.”

“Why does he go?”

“According to Tai? It's for work.” Qrow shook his head. “But to tell you the truth I think he's looking for Raven.” He snorted. “Which is stupid. I know my sister- you don't share a womb with someone without knowing how they think. If Raven doesn't want to be found, she won't. And if she doesn't want to come home, she won't. It's as simple as that. Tai should stay home with the people who need him.”

“Why did she leave?” James asked. “Do you know?”

Qrow shrugged. “To be honest I don't blame her, or at least, I understand why. I've wanted to take off plenty of times since Summer died, only reason I stuck around was those kids.”

“Summer is... Ruby's mother?” James guessed. Qrow shook his head.

“Summer _gave birth_ to Ruby. That's an important distinction. And when she died, everything changed. Raven couldn't handle it, she vanished. And Tai didn't take that too well on top of losing Summer, and suddenly you've got two little girls who've just had one mother die, the other mother run off, and their dad's sinking into a deep depression and can barely take care of himself, let alone them. So...” He trailed off. Shrugged.

“So you stepped in,” James finished for him. He was beginning to understand Qrow's position.

“Well, what was I supposed to do?” Qrow demanded. “Summer was my best friend, Raven was my twin sister, and I'd been in love with Tai for the better part of a decade. Those girls desperately needed some stability in their life and I was there, so I gave it to them.”

“But you're not their father,” James guessed.

“But I'm not their father,” Qrow agreed. “I'm just dependable Uncle Qrow.”

“They love you,” James said. Qrow just scoffed.

“Of course they love me. Doesn't make it sting less when Tai comes home and takes 'em away.”

He'd eaten his fill; he set his food aside and scooted closer, sliding under James' arm when he raised it invitingly. For a long time they sat in silence, the only sound the distant noise of traffic outside and muffled music coming from a nearby apartment. Eventually, Qrow changed the subject, telling James about an amusing scene he'd witnessed on the way home from his lunch with Ozpin, and the mood lightened somewhat.

Qrow sank down lower and lower while they talked, until he head was pillowed on James thigh, James fingers combing softly through his hair while they talked. Qrow kept closing his eyes and humming when James was speaking.

“Did you know crows sing to their mates?” he asked, after awhile. James shook his head.

“Is that what you're doing?”

“Maybe. Did you know they preen and puff up their feathers to attract their mates?”

“Hmm... I don't remember you preening for me,” he said. “Should I be offended?”

“I could preen if you want me to,” he said, and paused to yawn. “Remind me later.”

“Ready for bed?”

“Yeah.” He sat up. “No offense but your leg isn't the most comfortable pillow. You sure the left one isn't metal too?”

“I'm positive,” James said.

“So how far over does your metal half extend?” Qrow asked conversationally, while he led James into his bedroom. James paused in the door while Qrow undid a button and tugged his shirt off over his head- the pile he threw it on held three identical shirts in it, which at least answered James' question about whether Qrow ever actually changed his clothes.

“The seam runs down the middle of my chest,” James said, deliberately avoiding what he knew was Qrow's real question. He hesitated, then began undoing his buttons. Qrow would see sooner or later, and he needed to run a maintenance check anyway. Qrow paused in the middle of shucking his pants to watch him (and James knew the grin on his face was a response to the furious blush spreading across James' neck, because Qrow didn't wear underwear, apparently). “I still have my spine, but it's reinforced by metal because it wouldn't be able to support my cybernetic half on its own.”

Qrow went back to shimmying into his sweats, then moved over in front of James, studying him with open curiosity. The question was still in his eyes, burning to be asked, but James ignored it. How was he supposed to tell Qrow that yes, he had a cybernetic penis and, no, it didn't work? Not when it was now painfully apparent how much Qrow wanted him, if the tenting in his sweat pants was any indication.

When he got his toolkit from his overnight bag, Qrow's interest perked up even more.

“What is that?” he asked.

“I have to run routine maintenance,” he said. “Every night before I go to bed, and every morning when I wake up.”

“Why?”

“The calibrations that allow me to sense things as if I still had organic limbs are sensitive, and it's very easy to mess them up, sometimes without realizing. I perform daily and nightly maintenance to repair any damage immediately, rather than let it get worse until next thing you know I've shot myself in the foot.”

“Have you ever done that?”

“...I don't want to talk about it.”

Qrow watched him while he was running his maintenance, asking questions from time to time about the various parts. James was feeling on edge under the weight of his questions- it was clear that Qrow was just trying to understand him better, and he appreciated the sentiment, but it was hard enough looking at himself like this, and finding himself under such intense scrutiny wasn't helping. Finally, it was too much.

“Qrow, please,” he said. “Do you mind?”

“What? Oh, right.” Qrow stood hastily. “Right, I'll- I'll go wait in the living room.”

“Thank you- and- wait-” Qrow stopped, and James stood up, cupping his metal hand behind Qrow's neck and pulling him into a kiss, trying to put how not upset with Qrow he was into it. Qrow smirked when they parted.

“Heh. Just let me know when you're ready.”

o/o

In the living room, Qrow dropped himself onto the couch and rubbed irritably at his eyes. He'd hoped that he was showing James that his cybernetics weren't the dealbreaker he thought they were, but he'd managed to overstep. He'd have to run some damage control later. At least James wasn't upset with _him_ , anyway- or, he was pretty sure that's what that kiss had been about.

The door opened again a little while later and then James was standing over him, wearing nothing but a pair of loose pajama pants that hung low on his hips. He held out his hand to Qrow. It was the metal one, and there was a tense set to his shoulders- it hit Qrow just how much James was opening himself up to Qrow, and, quite as suddenly, something tight constricted in his chest and he felt like his neck was being slung up in a noose.

“I need some air,” he croaked, and then he was out the door, leaving James standing stunned in the middle of the living room.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Things are going to get worse before they get better.


	29. Chapter 29

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The morning after.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I finished this chapter yesterday but I wanted to get the next one done and post them together. Besides, I thought you guys would like the chance to yell at me a bit longer.

James waited a long time for Qrow to come back, pacing the living room awhile, watching the news- there was a man he recognized very vaguely as Ozpin's friend Dr. Oobleck talking about gold prices- and nibbling at leftover Chinese food to pass the time. As the hours went by, though, and it became apparent Qrow wouldn't be back, he went back into the bedroom and got dressed. He'd been a fool- he should have _known_ better.

He left Qrow a note on the counter, telling him he'd felt weird staying in his apartment without him, and then went home to sleep in his own bed.

o/o

Qrow wasn't sure where he was going, but he wasn't surprised when he found himself outside Tai's door. He reached for his flask before knocking, and then swore softly when he realized he didn't have it- nor his phone, either. In fact he'd run off in just his sweats- it was a good thing Tai didn't live too far away from him.

Tai finally answered the door, looking surprised to see Qrow standing there in such a state. He didn't bother waiting to be invited in, just pushed past Tai with a shudder.

“I fucked up,” he said, by way of explanation. “I need a drink- something strong. Stormed off without my flask... well, it was nearly empty anyway.”

“You know I don't keep strong alcohol in the house,” Tai said. “I have a six-pack of beer in the fridge and that's it- and I don't think you should go for it anyway,” he added, when Qrow made a beeline for the fridge and grabbed one without a word. “Qrow, what's wrong?”

“I fucked up,” Qrow repeated. “The girls asleep?”

“Yes, so please keep it down.”

“Right.” He took a long drink, and let out a shuddery breath. “I'm so fucked,” he said, and down the rest of the bottle.

He made to move over to the fridge for a second, but Tai moved in front of him. “Qrow, please. Tell me what's wrong- _why_ are you- what happened?”

Qrow squinted suspiciously at Tai, then hung his head. He rested his free hand on Tai's shoulder, rested his forehead against Tai's other, letting his friend support him. He let out a strangled noise that was halfway between a laugh and a sob. “Why is it always the blue eyes that get to me?” he said.

Tai looked startled, but sighed, and turned so he could put an arm around Qrow's shoulder. Qrow leaned heavily on him while Tai led him through the house to the guest room.

“Come on, buddy,” he said. “You can stay here for the night. We'll talk in the morning.”

o/o

When James reached the store the next morning, it was dark, with no sign of Qrow anywhere. Now James was worried- was he okay? He could open the store himself, of course, but there wouldn't be much point without anyone to make the cakes, and Qrow had not yet hired someone else to work in the kitchen. The only one who even knew any of Qrow's recipes was Yang, who'd learned them at Qrow's side while she was growing up.

James checked his phone, but Qrow hadn't called to let him know anything, and when James tried to call him and ask, he got no answer. He frowned down at the phone, then fished for his keys and decided to open the store anyway. He could at least take orders, and have them waiting for when Qrow got back.

_If Qrow gets back_ , his mind supplied, remembering Qrow's comments about wanting to walk away. He clamped down on that thought immediately- Qrow would come back, if for no other reason than for his girls. The question was would he come back to  _James_ ?

_Well, he has my number_ , James thought.  _And he knows where to find me_ .

And then he got to work.

o/o

When Winter came into work, she was surprised to find that the kitchen was dark and James was in the office. The register wasn't even up- she knocked gently on the office door, wondering what was wrong. Where was Qrow?

“Come in, Winter,” James said, not looking up from the stack of applications he was looking through. Winter took one step inside and stood up straight at attention.

“Sir, what's going on? Where is Qrow?”

A smile tugged at James' lips. She'd dropped 'Mr. Branwen', it seemed. Qrow would probably like that.

“I don't know,” James said. “He- didn't come in today.”

“Then why open the store? There's no point if there's no one to bake.”

“I know,” he said. “I can at least take orders and do some paperwork. It'll be easier without Qrow distracting me anyway.”

Winter was stiffening- he recognized that stiffening. She didn't do well when something unbalanced her. He gestured to the seat.

“You don't have to stay if you don't want to,” he said. “You can take the day off. It's not like there's anything to do anyway.”

“I can stay,” Winter said. She sat down, folding her arms. “I have a paper to write but I can work on it here as well as anywhere.”

He raised an eyebrow at her; she gave him a hopeful smile. “If Qrow does come in, you'll need someone,” she said. “And I don't have anywhere else I need to be.”

o/o

At three, Winter left to see to her sister, as usual. Once she was gone, James waited. Half an hour. Forty-five minutes. An hour. And hour and a half.

By five, when it was nearly time for Winter to return, not only had Qrow still not arrived, but Ruby and Yang had not come either. When he'd called Penny to tell her she wouldn't be able to come to the shop today, she told him that Ruby had invited her over to her house to hang out (“Just like real girls,” she had said. James' heart had broken at the hope in her voice).

So that was it. He sent a text to Winter telling her not to bother coming in tonight, then closed up shop early and went home.

Qrow still hadn't called him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter explains what Qrow was up to during this one.


	30. Chapter 30

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The morning after, b-side.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Qrow's perspective during the time of the previous chapter.

Qrow woke up well after he was meant to, tangled up in blankets with Zwei asleep at his side. He ruffled the dog's ears fondly and slid out of bed, yawning and stretching while he followed the scent of bacon frying into the kitchen. Tai was there, making food, and when he saw Qrow he only looked up long enough for a quiet good morning. Qrow pillowed his head on his arms at the counter while Tai went back to cooking. He was remembering last night, now, and as he remembered James standing there, down to his metal and skin, his breath started coming short again.

He pushed to his feet and staggered out onto the patio, leaning against the door and taking deep, gasping breaths. Tai was at his side in a minute, rubbing his hands in circles on Qrow's back until his breathing was back under control. He pressed his hands against his eyes, digging the heels in until colors burst in his vision.

“What's wrong with me, Tai?” he demanded. “What am I doing?”

“I don't know,” Tai admitted. “You still haven't told me what's going on.”

“It's been two weeks,” Qrow said. “I've known James for two weeks, it's too soon to feel like this.”

“ _Ohhhh_ ,” Tai breathed, comprehension dawning. Qrow sank down to the ground, Tai following him. “Qrow...”

“He was standing there and I found myself thinking 'crows mate for life' and then I realized what I thought and suddenly I can't breathe anymore.”

“Oh, Qrow.”

“I didn't ask for this, Tai!” He let out that strangled sob-laugh again. “I can't do this. It's not _me_.” He pushed to his feet. “I need a drink.”

Tai followed Qrow inside. “At least eat something,” he said. “Try to calm down some, too. It's gonna be okay, Qrow. You're gonna be okay.”

Qrow just glowered, and pulled the door open to get a beer, clutching the neck of the bottle like a lifeline, until Tai was worried it would break in his grip.

“It's gonna be okay, Qrow,” he repeated quietly.

o/o

By lunchtime, Qrow had calmed significantly. He'd also showered and changed into clothes that were actually presentable- he always kept a change of clothes at Tai's. He made lunch for him and Tai, neither of them bringing up Qrow's panic, and when they were done Qrow walked home.

He found James' note on the countertop, and his heart twisted as he read it, and then it twisted more when he retrieved his phone from the bedside table and saw how many times James had tried to call and text him. The texts since that morning were all asking if he was okay. Qrow quickly keyed a response saying he was find, and his thumb hovered over the send button before he deleted it. He had no idea if he was fine, or how to explain himself, and the thought of talking to James right now- even in text- was bringing bile up in his throat. With a groan, he set his phone aside and disappeared into the bathroom to throw together an overnight bag.

He needed to get away and find somewhere he could breathe. Fortunately he knew exactly where he could go to get his head together.

It'd be a wrench, and he'd be away a couple of days, but he had to do it. He shot off a text to Tai saying he was taking off for a couple of days, left a message on James' answering machine (why did he even have one of those?), refilled his flask, and took off down the road for the bus station.

o/o

James' answering machine was beeping when he got home. Since he only had it in case something happened to his phone and someone needed to get a message to him, he was surprised when he pushed the button and Qrow's voice came out. Why hadn't he just called James on his cell, instead of his landline?

“ _Look, James_ ,” Qrow's message said. “ _I feel like a heel having to do this but I gotta go. I'll be back in a few days. Don't worry about the shop, you and Winter take a few days paid vacation. I'll sort things out when I get back. Later._ ”

That was it. James played the message through twice more, in case there might be more, but there wasn't. His brow furrowed. Where had Qrow gone? And why?

James tried to push the questions from his mind, turning instead to making himself dinner, but the food tasted dry and dusty in his mouth, and he had to struggle to swallow it. He gave up after a few bites, and turned instead to pacing. Was it something he'd done? Had his cybernetics been a dealbreaker after all?

But Qrow had clearly been interested when he was watching James' perform his maintenance. In fact, he'd gone through all that trouble to show James that it _wasn't_ a dealbreaker. Was it because James had pushed him away? But that seemed an extreme reaction to something that they could have easily talked about- he doubted Qrow would run over something so trivial.

That still begged the question of why he had, then. Because _something_ had upset Qrow, and that had definitely been related to James.

Eventually, James couldn't handle it anymore. He took off, hailing a cab and giving the driver the address to Taiyang's house. If he couldn't get any answers from Qrow, he'd get them from his best friend instead.

o/o

Tai was washing dishes when he heard the knock on the door. Zwei barked happily, and wagged his tail, which meant it was someone he knew; Tai dried the suds off his hands and went to answer it.

He didn't know the man standing in the doorway, but he could guess pretty easily who he was. Qrow hadn't been kidding about him being handsome, clearly.

“You must be James.”

“Yes. Tai?”

“I think you'd better come in.”

Tai made James a cup of coffee and gave James an abbreviated, impersonal summary of the night before, saying that Qrow had appeared at his door in a bit of a state and then spent the morning calming down from said state. He also showed James the text Qrow had sent him, saying that he would be taking off for a few days.

“He didn't say where he was going, then?”

“No. He just needs to get away sometimes. We all do, I guess.”

“Do you know why?”

“Well-” Tai seemed to hesitate, then sighed. “Because of you. You did something last night to get him wound up- I don't know what, he wouldn't tell me. But now he's panicking because he realized he was in it for the long haul and he isn't sure he can do it.”

James opened his mouth to respond, then snapped it closed again. There was no way it was how it sounded- Tai _had_ to be explaining badly. James took a sip of his coffee. “Do you think he's coming back?”

“Home? Of course he is.” Tai glanced toward the back of the house, where the girls no doubt were. “He'd never leave- at least, I don't think he would.” Tai hung his head. “But I can't promise that when he does, he'll still want to be what you and he were before. I don't know that. He was really upset- and he seemed so lost. So... to answer your question, I have no idea.” He shrugged. “I'm sorry. That's the best I can do.”

“Then that's all I can ask.” James stood, hating the way his heart was twisting at Tai's words. “Thank you. I'll go now.”

“Okay.” Tai stood to walk him to the door. “It was nice to finally meet you- the girls and Qrow haven't stopped talking about you since you turned up. I wish it could have been under better circumstances.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Cili and I were talking earlier and I realized that this story is almost done. I'm predicting maybe three or four more chapters to deal with the drama, then maybe one or two chapters to wind down and wrap up, then the epilogue. Holding to my usual rate, and unless I get too busy, that means this fic should be done by the end of next week. We'll see! I'm looking forward to it. :D
> 
> And I'll remind you all that this story has a _happy_ ending.


	31. Chapter 31

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Qrow runs.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter has a cameo by my garbage children! :D

Patch was about six hours away by bus. Qrow bought a one way ticket and found a seat about halfway back, next to a surly looking girl with green hair who looked about as unwilling to talk as he was, and thus unlikely to try engaging him in conversation. He exchanged a courtesy greeting as he sat down, and then leaned back and let her go back to staring moodily out the window while he waited for the bus to fill up so they could depart.

Just before the bus pulled away, a boy with silver hair sat down across the aisle from him; he spent a good ten minutes trying to persuade the girl to talk to him before she finally sighed and asked Qrow to swap places with her. He did, annoyed at having to move, and leaned back again, letting his mind space out and his attention drift, lulled by the hum of the bus around him and conversation going on beside him. Sounded like the boy was trying to persuade the girl to take him back. Qrow listened despite himself.

“I understand why you walked away from Cinder,” the boy was saying. “I just wish you hadn't walked away from me, too. We're supposed to be a team. I can't be Team Garbage without you. I can just be garbage, and that's no fun.”

“ _Do_ you understand?”

“Well... not really. But maybe if you let me stick with you... please, Em. You're my best friend. Just let me stay with you. Maybe I'll come to understand eventually- I just want us to be partners again.”

There was a long silence, the girl shifting to stare past Qrow out the window, and Qrow was sure she'd tell the boy to fuck off, but finally she sighed.

“All right,” she said. “You can stick with me. Honestly I don't know what I'm doing anyway. Maybe we can figure it out together.”

Qrow opened his eyes enough to look, enough to see the dopey grin spreading across the boy's face. The boy raised his fist hopefully.

“Garbage besties?”

Beside Qrow, the girl just rolled her eyes, but raised her own fist and touched it to the boy's. “Garbage besties,” she murmured.

Qrow snorted, and rolled over. _Good for them_ , he thought, and went back to drifting.

He managed to get an hour of sleep before the girl was poking him awake and asking him to swap seats with the boy. He grumbled, but obliged, and settled back down again. He still had a good five hours to go before he was in Patch, and he didn't want to spend the bus ride thinking about where he was going or why.

o/o

He woke up as the bus was pulling into the station at Patch, and grabbed his duffel to wait with the throng of passengers departing. He glanced at his seat neighbors as he waited; the girl was leaning her head on the boy's shoulder as she slept, her hand resting lightly on his thigh. He'd covered it with his own, curling his fingers through hers, and his thumb was rubbing gentle circles on her knuckle.

The simple act, intimate as it was, made his heart hurt, and he averted his gaze until he was well down the aisle and the pair were out of sight.

Patch was a tiny little town, nothing like the big city of Vale where he lived, and it hadn't changed much in the twelve years since he'd left. That was a comfort to him, though. It was familiar, and reassuring.

It was just before dawn when he reached Patch, and the walk through town to the graveyard took the better part of the morning. He didn't bother with breakfast, settling for the danish he'd shoved into his bag the night before instead. He'd get a proper lunch later, he needed to talk to Summer first.

All things considered, Qrow liked to think that he had a pretty good relationship with Summer's death. True, her absence was still keenly felt in the constant ache in his heart, and he'd had to put off his own mourning in order to take care of her family, and yeah, his tendency to crawl into a bottle to deal with literally anything coincided neatly with her death, but still. He didn't dwell. He missed her, and he longed for her, but he got on with things, and lived his life and he didn't dwell on what he'd lost. Often.

But when things got too hard, when crawling into a bottle wasn't enough, he found himself right back here, leaning back against her headstone and pouring out his troubles, just like he had when they were teenagers and she'd always listened to him. Except this time she couldn't call him an idiot and tell him to put on his big girl panties and deal with it.

And he was an idiot.

And the only way to push through was to put on his big girl panties and deal with it.

Which sucked, because it would honestly be a lot easier to just stay in Patch until James' contract ran out and then not renew it, and that would be that. Easier, yes, for the panic that settled on him every time he remembered the depth of trust James had shown him, but not for the twisting, coiling feeling in his heart at the thought of never seeing the man again.

“Head or heart, Qrow,” he thought, climbing to his feet. “See you, Summer. It was nice talking to you again- I'll try to make my next visit for something nicer.”

o/o

Qrow got lunch in a diner that was exactly the same as it was thirty years ago when he'd worked his first job there, and by the time he'd finished eating he'd gotten enough resolve to send James a text message, apologizing for disappearing and asking him if he'd mind coming out to Patch to talk to Qrow.

Then he set his phone down and waited what seemed like an eternity before James finally sent back a reply, a single text that read ' _Yes.'_ in James' usual succinct style. Qrow leaned back and smiled up at a ceiling that was not the ceiling he remembered, and let out a long sigh of relief.

Big girl panties.

Right.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Did you guys think I was going to let this drama draw out? This is a _light_ story. Even at its worst, it's not meant to hurt too much.


	32. Chapter 32

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> One day at a time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Seriously guys, I had like, three chapters of drama. Did you really think I was gonna drag this out?

When James got home, he called Winter to tell her she was on paid vacation for a few days, and then went to bed early, not really having anything better to do. He ached: he wanted Qrow. At very least, he wanted _answers_. He didn’t like uncertainty. He didn’t like being in the dark.

By the time he woke up next morning, he was determined to make the most of the time off, and put Qrow from his mind. Instead he called up his old lab, and arranged to come in and get a full physical done. It was getting close to time anyway, a few weeks early wouldn’t hurt, and it was better to do it while he had time off anyway. Then he called Penny and offered to take her to the park after her classes were done for the day.

There. Plenty to do that would keep his mind off of Qrow.

o/o

His checkup lasted most of the morning. Once James left the lab, he stopped at a cafe to get lunch and then nearly dropped his drink when his phone buzzed and Qrow’s name flashed on the screen. He grabbed it and read the text through three times before he finally processed it.

Patch.

Qrow had told him about Patch- had it really only been last week? Said he’d grown up there, but moved to Vale a few years after Summer’s death.

“Tai figured it would help with the depression,” he’d said. “You know, not be surrounded by a thousand things that made him think of her. And what do you know, it really did help. So I found a place to live, got a job teaching over at Signal E., and moved out here with them. Wasn’t gonna let them go so easy, you know?”

Qrow’s text didn’t say what he was doing in Patch- or why he’d left, or what it was that had made him walk out on James Sunday night. It just asked James to come to Patch and talk to him. James stared at the text for a long time, debating what to do. He could afford a bus ticket, yes, he had enough in his savings, and it was clear Qrow wanted to talk to him. But why did he have to go to Patch to do it?

In the end, it didn’t matter. James sent off his answer and then called the bus station to reserve a ticket. He’d head out tonight; he had already promised Penny he’d take her to the park after school, and she came first. He texted the time of his bus to Qrow, and almost immediately got confirmation that Qrow would be at the bus station to meet him.

Well, that was that. He returned to his lunch. Maybe he’d finally get some answers, now.

o/o

Qrow was waiting at the bus station when James reached Patch, just a little past midnight. James had only taken a few steps from the bus when Qrow hurried over to him, standing in front of him wordlessly for a long moment, staring up at him. That panic was setting in again, trying to make him run, but he couldn’t ignore the way his heart had leapt at seeing James again: the way it felt, absurdly, like coming home.

He opened his mouth a few times, words failing, before finally managing, “Crows mate for life.”

James furrowed his brow. “…what?”

“Crows mate for life and you feel like coming home and I’m scared of what that means.”

Oh.

James brushed a hand through his hair, sagging in relief. Tai’s words from the night before made sense, at least.

“Qrow…”

He didn’t get any farther: Qrow pulled him down into a kiss, deep and needy, arms wrapping around James’ neck and trying to pull him even closer. James’ hands came up to Qrow’s waist, gripping tight, bruising tight.

“I got a hotel room,” Qrow murmured, when they parted. “You wanna go back and actually talk?”

James nodded, bringing his arms up and clutching Qrow to him. “I think that’s for the best,” he said. “I think there’s a lot both of us have to say.”

o/o

They talked.

They talked for a long time, James sat at the end of the bed while Qrow paced the room, gesturing along with his words while he told James all of the fears he had about their relationship, about the tight constricting in his chest every time he realized he was in it for keeps. And then it was James’ turn to talk while Qrow listened, James fidgeting with the cuff of his glove while he told Qrow about his own insecurities.

When they were done, when they had both run out of things to say, they both sat on the bed, backs against the headboard, arms warm against each other, Qrow rubbing small circles on the back of James’ hand with his thumb, a reassuring silence falling over them both.

“We’re a mess,” Qrow said, finally. “How in the world are we going to handle this?” He leaned his head over on James’ shoulder. “I don’t know if I can commit to a lifetime- as much as I know it’s what I want.”

James was silent for a long time, an idea forming in his head. “Then don’t,” he finally said. Qrow stiffened, but James kept going before he could react. “Don't commit to a lifetime, I mean.” He picked up Qrow’s hand in his living one and reached over to trace the lines of Qrow’s palm with cool metal fingertips. “Commit to a day- just one day. And at the end of that day, commit to another. And another, and another. And then if one day you realize you don’t want to commit to another…” He shrugged. “Then don’t.” He raised Qrow’s hand to his lips and kissed it. “Do you think you could do that? Commit to just a day with me?”

Qrow laughed, a soft, gravelly chuckle. “Yeah,” he said. “I think I can commit to a day.”

o/o

They went to bed, eventually, in the small hours of the morning, falling asleep in a tangle of limbs and warm skin against cool metal. It was nearly noon before they woke up, and a long time before they actually got out of bed, neither willing to leave the cocoon they’d made around themselves.

Qrow called room service for lunch while James ran his usual maintenance, then sat at the end of the bed, gaze averted politely until James told him he was done. He moved over to sit beside him while James put his tools back in his bag.

“So your dick doesn’t work?” he asked, coming back to a point that had been brought up the night before. James shook his head.

“In theory, I’m fully functional. But so far, nothing.” He shrugged. “Dr. Steele thinks it’s psychological, Dr. Choral keeps telling me it’s a normal thing for men my age.”

“Have you tried porn?”

“Yes. It doesn’t work. Though, if I’m honest, I never got much out of porn even before this.”

Qrow pursed his lips thoughtfully, staring up at the ceiling for a long moment.

“I’m going to take a shot in the dark here: have you ever tried porn that _wasn’t_  lesbians?”

“Why does everyone keep saying that?”

“Right.” Qrow lowered his gaze back to James. “When we get home, I’m introducing you to the wonderful world of gay porn.”

“And if that doesn’t work?” James sounded amused. He should have known Qrow would take his malfunction as a challenge. “What then?”

“Then we figure out something else.” He stopped, and added, “If that’s okay with you. If you want to wait…”

“Qrow.” James reached over and cupped his cheek, turning his head enough that he could draw him into a kiss. “We’ll take it one step at a time and stop when we hit a wall.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm not predicting more than one or two chapters plus an epilogue left on this. There will, however, be an outtake of Qrow trying to get James' dick to work, since I've kind of committed to that. It will be posted separately, to avoid having to up the rating on this fic.
> 
> Tobias Steele and Thorn Choral, the two doctors James mentions, are two of James' teammates that Snowy and I created for him for his time as a student. It seemed appropriate to use them.
> 
> There's a deleted scene [here](http://wyomingsmustache.tumblr.com/post/139691268429/all-in-the-batter) of James' check up with Tobias. It was taken out due to not adding to the narrative _and_ being mood whiplashy.


	33. Epilogue

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Six months later.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the final piece of All in the Batter. I wracked my brains for awhile but honestly, even though I'd meant to include a denouement, there was nothing else to add without making it seem to drag on. So this is it. The end.

The house was not particularly big, but it was bigger than either of their apartments. Three bedrooms instead of two, with a master bedroom plenty big enough to accommodate Qrow’s unnecessarily large bed. The smaller of the other two would do well for a study: James’ desk was pushed under the window, a work table against the far wall. For now, it held only his tools, but in time it would be covered in wires and circuits and panels. He may not be a roboticist anymore, not professionally, but that didn’t mean he couldn’t still do it as a hobby- he had _missed_  working with parts.

Qrow’s couch, too short for either of them, was put in the third bedroom, the guest room, and James’ couch was used for the living room. Qrow had come to really love that couch, since it was plenty long enough for him to sprawl out on top of James’ body while they napped, neither _quite_  willing to get up and go to bed.

There was a yard. It wasn’t a big yard, but it existed. Qrow would have to get a lawn mower- a push mower, tedious to use but they didn’t have enough yard for a riding mower. James could cut the grass, Qrow said. He was strong, he would have no trouble with a pushing mower. James pointed out that Qrow wouldn’t have trouble either, but Qrow just shrugged.

It was a good location- just around the corner from Tai’s place, a ten minute walk from Batter Up, a fifteen minute walk from Penny’s.

“This place has windows everywhere,” Qrow said, pushing through the door with a box in his hand, reaching back with his foot to push it closed. “We’ll have to get curtains, there are kids in this neighborhood and I don’t want them looking in on us while you’re ravishing me.”

“No ravishing till we get all of our things moved in,” James said, taking the box from him. It was dishes, as it turned out; he turned to put them on the counter so he could unpack them and turned back around to find Qrow standing in his personal space. “Qrow.”

“You’re sure about that?” Qrow said. “I mean, we could definitely squeeze in a little ravishing before we get back to it. A quickie in our new kitchen…”

“Qrow, that’s gross.”

“Rude.”

“You know what I mean.” 

“Still rude. Come on.” Qrow caught a finger through one of James’ buttons and tugged him down into a kiss. “At least a little smooching,” he murmured. “We’ve been hard at it, we deserve a break.”

“We’ve brought in three boxes,” James murmured back, making no move to pull himself away, despite his words. Qrow just flicked his top button open. “We have work to do,” James protested weakly. It was hard to think with Qrow in such proximity. Qrow just flicked open his second button, pushing James’ shirt open enough to apply his mouth to James’ collarbone, to the spot where metal met flesh.

It was one of James’ weak spots, and Qrow knew it. He couldn’t resist when Qrow paid such intent attention to it. He brought his arms up around Qrow in surrender, one working up under his shirt to splay warm across his back, getting a pleasant hum from Qrow in response.

“Maybe we have time for a little bit of ravishing,” James relented, turning his attention to returning Qrow's attentions.

It took him a moment to notice it- the warmth pooling in his belly, the stirring he hadn’t felt in over a year and a half. Dr. Steele had assured him it would happen in time, but he’d all but given up hope. Now Qrow stilled against him.

“Jim,” he said, pulling away from James’ collarbone. “I know I’ve asked this a thousand times before-”

“-that is absolutely not a revolver in my pocket,” James replied, voice barely over a whisper, like he was afraid some loud noise would scare it away.

“Right.” There was a pause, and then Qrow’s hand was in his own, the other man pulling him through the house to the- to _their_ \- bedroom. “Change of plans,” Qrow said. “It’s my turn to do the ravishing. Finally.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, that's that. It's finally done.
> 
> First of all, a big thanks, filled with hugs and kisses, for Cili, who was kind enough to read each chapter to me and help me find the things that will need to be changed in editing, and who helped me brainstorm a thousand plots that didn't go anywhere, and who was shipping Iron Qrow with me months before the rest of you losers turned up. <3
> 
> Second, a thanks to the rest of you losers: Ani, Snowy, Rogue, Oaky, Bae, and everyone else who's been posting stuff into the Iron Qrow tag, passing around ideas and generating content and generally being awesome. I'm forgetting a lot of you; you're still rad all the same. <3
> 
> Third, a thanks to Medic and Jordan, for being my audience of two when Iron Qrow was still just a raft drifting against the current. I haven't forgotten that you guys were here before everyone else, you know. <3
> 
> Finally, a thanks to everyone who commented, everyone who reblogged the links, everyone who left kudos, and everyone who read without commenting. This fic was a labor of love, but it was nice to know that there were others enjoying it as much as I was. I can honestly say I couldn't have done it without you. <3 <3 <3

**Author's Note:**

> Like this fic? Try my new ongoing Iron Qrow rom nov, [Heart of the Beech](http://archiveofourown.org/works/6114631)!


End file.
